What the HELL happened to...HELLRAISER

What the HELL happened to Hellraiser

Don Roberts

It’s all been leading to this. Something for a long while I’ve wanted to share some thoughts on and a franchise that as a fan I came the closest to not just wishing they’d end it. For good. But felt in my soul a tweet Clive Barker made about one of these later entries into the franchise. Which honestly is saying a lot if you know the man.

For those not familiar I will save that tweet.

Fuck it we need it because nothing has ever summed up more greatly what a lot of these became the further removed from the first two they got, and I quote “I have NOTHING to do with the fuckin’ thing. If they claim it’s from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.” 

Hearing it said again in my head, and remembering what I’ve witnessed. Giving me that thousand yard stare knowing what exist out there under the name Hellraiser it carries the same weight as the scene on Apocalypse Now when he hears the man screaming never get off the boat, your goddamn right.

But, as curiosity gets most of us in the end, and as Dr. Channard said in Hellbound Hellraiser 2, I have to see. I have to know. Well dear reader. Now we will see, and now. We will know.

It is already rather well known among people that this series ended up a place holder for the studio so they could keep the franchise under their roof. At one point they didn’t even hide it, and by the time we got to the very end of the straight to dvd releases, no one cared. But it wasn’t always that way. The last good faith sequel was Hellraiser 3 Hell on Earth. Which is where we intend to begin, and it is a bit puzzling to do so, according to the fanbase.

Which is why we are!

See Hellbound Hellraiser 2 saw the backstory and the ending, of the Hell priest we know as Pinhead, and his faithful followers. Kirsty discovered his origins and undid what the lord of hells labyrinth had done to his devoted servants. The film ends showing us that the cenobites under Pinhead had all been condemned to the field of souls for turning against their creators design. The film was well received overall, though it signaled a divide in the fandom. Some didn’t care for the tonal shift from a tighter store focused on a small family to a much larger landscape with new characters given little breathing room. The quick return of Julia and the tricking of Kirsty through Frank making little sense to most. But in the end it was still labeled acceptable because, well. Everyone loved the cenobites. They loved Pinhead. Even though they kill him off, which did upset them. You could still enjoy it, and I rather liked the character arch they gave him. But I can agree with fans that the death of the cenobites felt rushed and anticlimactic. Which it was, and wasn’t oddly enough.

See the sequel, given the huge success of the first was greenlit with a vastly larger budget compared to the first. This was going to be a grand blood filled sexy sequel. But unfortunately, the “Black Monday” stock market crash altered that. Well altered as in millions of dollars vanished literally overnight and a 3rd of the films budget was gone. This is why what should have been an effects heavy decent into hell turned into what it did. Which I still find beautiful-but yes the cenobites had a somewhat different turn. While the original story envisioned a grand battle between the cenobites and Channard, the writer and director had other ideas. Simply put, Pinhead and his followers are not soldiers. They aren’t made for waging war. Though the idea of shooting off chains and powerful beams of energy. Cenobites unleashed displaying wide sets of abilities could’ve been interesting I can understand it destroying a bit of their presence. They’re shown to us, as Clive wrote them, a clergy of torment.

So though the budget was severely cut down, it didn’t effect their showdown. The cenobites once no longer under the influence of their master became lost and shocked. Their powers tied to Leviathan were severed so. What people expected of a battle, was meant to play out as we got. An execution. Pinhead was never meant to make a last stand, he knew that. He served himself as a distraction for the other two who freed him to escape. Still doesn’t mean people had to enjoy it but, I did.

We needed to revisit the backstory on Part 2 because it ties in very directly to the 3rd, and was going to in fact setup a lot of what Hellraiser was meant to follow moving forward.

Part 2 had plans, that ultimately would have reshaped the entire franchise dramatically. Almost biblically for fans in a way that I honestly would love to visit an alternate dimension where we got the films original secret ending. Which is exactly what it was, and remains. A secret ending.

But before we get into that. We need to begin this thing. So with that…

Hellraiser 3 Hell on Earth.

The death bell of the franchise that gave you what you wanted and was hated for it.

As a fan you get it. People loved Pinhead. Differently than Freddy or Jason. He gave a much darker presence that bordered the core of what I love with Clive Barkers work. The seduction of the beautifully grotesque. People wanted more of him. To hear his beautiful voice tell us about how he planned to tare us all apart in an act of unimaginable pleasure and agony. The problem is, the more Pinhead talked, the more he lost his mystery and grace. That’s why Freddy, Jason and Michael hit differently compared to Pinhead. His acts are more personal and direct. The others its more incidental and comical. So having an intimately violent partner begin monologuing well. It’s difficult to stay in the mood when your partner starts going off on the state of the world when you want them to go scorched earth on your nether region.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Since Part 2 still made a profit and fans were wanting another trip into Hell’s labyrinth. A sequel was on the minds of the studio. However. New World Pictures who made the first two films, unfortunately was HUGELY mismanaged. They closed their studio doors and began selling off their properties. Hellraiser was one such property. Miramax purchased the rights to the franchise with dreams of their own large franchise in the lucrative horror market. It’s funny given how people viewed horror films but a good number of studios wanted to tap that market given the success New Line had as being ‘the house that Freddy built’. Miramax was so sure they would have a franchise to do the same, cornered directly into the horror market-that they created a new group specifically for Hellraiser and future horror. Dimension Films. Growing up in the 90’s you’d see that title attached to a lot of good, okay, and shit tier horror. Much like Lions Gate in the early 2000’s.

This is why the film series found itself moved out from the British cities and acting talent, and landed itself right into the land of eagles, apple pie and fat ass titties.

So Dimension Films was born and a new chapter of Hell was about to be unleashed in pure American slasher style. Which is what this film became. Whether you wanted it or not.

Story

The film did not forget its sequel. Sort of. It introduces us to the worst dressed man of the 90’s further reminding us as Freddy’s Dead did, that again. The 90’s was not a time to celebrate nor will it ever be. Decisions were made and all of us suffered.

We are introduced to a straight from the Hellraiser comics, Pillar of Souls. Which replaced the much more basic grotesque wooden pillar from the previous film. Now we have an aged stone pillar playing home to Pinhead. Not his human soul, but the essence of the Hell Priest. He was so full of evil in nature that he was ripped from Elliot Spencer and imprisoned within the pillar. The pillar serves much the same way as the death site of hells victims, the moment blood is introduced to the site/pillar. It awakens the trapped spirit within. Such happens to Pinhead that he now finds himself in the same role as Frank and Julia before him. Having to make deals with whoever they can, to free themselves. Meanwhile we are introduced to Joey, a reporter with a can-do attitude trying to find her big story and make it as a reporter.

She befriends a friend of the recently purchased Pinhead centerpiece and begins going to work on her story, while combating PTSD like dreams of her fathers death in Vietnam and visits from Captain Eliot Spencer, the human whom Pinhead came from. He has a quest for Joey, which made sense to someone as sometime. Since Pinhead found a way to enter our world and be reborn, this puts Elliot at unease. Why should he have an eternity in the afterlife, if the monster within him gets to roam free. So he begins putting together a plan for Joey. Stop his evil from being let loose upon an unexpecting world causing unimaginable amounts of suffering.

Joey is understandably shitting herself with all of this information but handles it well. She is a reporter after all.

Unfortunately Pinhead is let loose and makes his presence known immediately through the creation of some of the most uncreative cenobites. But it is his first time so we won’t judge him too harshly for a first attempt.

Now Joey can’t simply go up to him and toss the puzzle box at him like a pokeball. Like any woman trying to send her problems to hell, she needs to lure him back to her apartment where the gateway exist that Elliot can do so for her.

So why doesn’t Pinhead just smack Joey down with some chains and shav her with hells razers? Because bush wasn’t acceptable in the 90’s. entire crotch forest were cleared and destroyed during this time, that’s why we all donated to save the rainforest.

Well the reason he can’t touch her, is hellraiser lore. The box. Pinhead operates on the same laws of return as Frank and Julia. The box is a means to send him back to hell. If hell learns he escaped he knows what awaits him. Destroying the box is his one priority to keeping himself alive and ruling over the hell he plans to turn Earth into. But as long as she has it, he cannot touch her.

But his ceno-friends can!

And touch her they do.

In the funniest goddamn way, I shit you not. The cenobites went from imposing figures with tools and imaginations that you didn’t want near you. Now we have a man with a thrusting piston in his head giving him orgasms, a man with a camera built into his head recording it, a DJ was cd’s in his skul and a cd changer in his chest, and lastly a female cenobite with a cigarette stuck in her throat and in her hands.

Seriously tell me how threatened and pants crapping scared you would be with a bald woman and friends circling you hearing “Oh yeah oooooh yeah” while the bald goth girl taps you with lit cigarettes giggling. Normally you pay for that kind of thing, or you just know the right people.

I used to work in a restaurant across the street from a blacked out “invitation only” club for people into that. We don’t talk about how I learned that, or anything else within it. But I digress.

Joey is chased through the city, mildly inconvenienced by people in leather, until she has a showdown with Pinhead. Which is awkwardly done through early 90’s CGI, stop motion and a lot of ugliness. Through trickery of the mind Pinhead is rather easily able to gain back his box from Joey and could not be happier about his victory. He celebrates it just a little too long though as he soon discovers his former human self is now in the room with them and ready to have a word with him. If you thought the cenobite fight in part 2 was meh, prepare for something even more out of place and anticlimactic. Joey gets put in leather straps and hung from the ceiling, fully clothed because someone was not going to bare any flesh for this(good on her), and the two personalities wax poetic at one another before, literally struggling and merging into each other. Trying to see which soul will win and claim the final form. The victor? Is no one. We all lose. Pinhead looks to have beaten his human self, but as we all learn even after you beat yourself and you relax with that lingering sensation of pleasure and guilt. It doesn’t stop you from getting up and needing to beat it again.

Elliot through the hells of bad CGI screams at Joey to send him to hell, so she does! She stabs the badly formed Pinhead with the puzzlebox. Which has morphed into a plot device, or a blade. With that Pinhead is returned to hell, complete with his former self and peace returns to the world as we know it.

The film has to remind us this was the beginning of a new franchise, so we see Joey bury the box in wet cement and walk off back to her life with no friends, no cameraman and the hopes MTV is hiring. As she fades off into the distance, the film leaps forward in time and lets us know, the box. Did not go unfound. Wherever she buried it in concrete it has been dug up and used as inspiration to create a large skyscraper designed entirely off the Lament configuration. Setting us up for a bright and wonderful Weinstein future.

Jesus wept.

So this was not well received. At all. Fans hated it and weren’t pleased. While the sequel had a much larger scope and epic hopes of a bigger story overall. This film was tossed even further away when it was transformed into something more commercial. If you buy American, you are getting just that. However just like the previous 3 franchises. The film financially did great. For horror. It outperformed Hellraiser 2 thanks to video store rentals and marketing. But it absolutely failed with fans and the story left a lot to be desired.

Which is the interesting part of this film and where we can dive back directly into Hellraiser 2.

See in this film there is a small easer egg given to fans. During Joey’s investigation into the box and where it came from, she  is told to contact the Channard institute and receives some tapes from the archive which reference her search. It gives us a surprise and very small cameo from Kirsty. Who tells us about the puzzle box, the cenobites. Like me it’s incredibly short and doesn’t offer us much to go on, but it’s still a nice nod.

However the original intention was a lot different. Wildly different and again, what a world we would be in had we gone this route.

See, in Hellbound Hellraiser 2, there was as I alluded to, a secret ending filmed. Clive Barker at one point actually really loved Hellraiser. It was his first film and he adapted his own work, faithfully to his liking. He enjoyed part two as well despite the budget and was working on other adaptations of his work to film as well. He had deep plans moving forward with Hellraiser as he too saw it as a potential ongoing franchise. The secret ending they’d filmed for the sequel still had us end up at Dr Channards home with his belongings being shipped off and stored. A mover still meets an unfortunate end, however we weren’t going to end with a pillar of souls and trapped cenobites. Instead we were introduced to what would be the face to carry the franchise as its true villain. The Queen of hell, Julia.

That’s right. Clive Barker wanted Julia to be the central villain of the Hellraiser world. If you recall in part 2 she introduces herself to her step daughter once revived as being, The Queen. It wasn’t just a Snow White jab. Julia had become the Queen of Hell serving beside the lord of the Labyrinth Leviathan.

The film would have ended with a fully formed and dressed in cenobite black pale skinned Julia, smiling seductively and addressing the moving man after finding his friend turned into ground meat, “I’m Julia, love me.”

The story as it was originally meant to be, was going to be called Church of the Sacred Wound, at least it was the working title and again, something straight from the comics and revisited in the recently released Hellraiser Revival game with The Scarlet Church. As the game developers worked directly with Clive Barker he was all too happy to revisit and bring back what was his intended vision with the church, and much like the video game, and hinted at through the comics. The film would have centered on an entire cult like religion of devoted followers to Julia, their priestess who would lead them in worshipping Leviathan and the cenobites. She would lead them in sacrifices, self mutilation and attempting to bridge the gap between hell and our world. As it stands in the lore, the puzzle boxes in all their configurations were designed as door ways linking our world to hells realm. Ambitious souls, and demons would seek to widen that and create an open gate linking our worlds.

In this story, Kirsty would return in a huge role once more, After having escaped the Channard Institute with her no longer mute friend, the two would set out to try and begin life again, carrying their new trauma on top of what Channard inflicted on them both, only to discover Julia and her cult. Hearing about the discovering of mutilated bodies reminiscent of what the two experiences with their encounter at hells literal front door. Kirsty would battle her step mother once more and it would continue again their on going battle established in the first film.

There was also the idea of bringing back another cut storyline from Hellbound where Frank and his brother Rory would potentially return. One serving Julia the other reaching out to Kirsty. The two having their own brotherly battle that they intended to resolve with the original sequel but never got too.

That part I don’t care much for. But the idea that the films would shift away from Pinhead and focus solely on Julia as the face of the franchise. It’s a hell of a move and the possibilities would have been incredibly interesting. I honestly want to know how people would have reacted. Given how many fucking sequels we get after part 3, Imagine if Doug was given a break as Pinhead and instead we kept revisiting Julia.

The thought we would have both her and Kirsty finally having it out for good and all. I really dig that. You could say Kirsty had her story arch in the last film, as sudden as the ending was. She did end Julia’s return in that film. But that’s also what makes it all the more interesting. The idea that Julia escaped hells judgment, emerging as the queen she alluded to being christened. Wanting her own justice and the idea of having the protection and power of her devoted followers to help punish the step daughter she couldn’t stand. It just sounds too damn good.

This was the story part three was going to use. Even with the ending being unused.

Why was it unused? The studio liked it, The director and Clive were all for it. So why.

Clare Higgins, Julia.

Clare very vocally made it known, she absolutely hated the gore, the special effects, and the direction of Hellbound. She wanted nothing to do with the series so, she quite. She wasn’t going to take any offers, calls and any contract would be quickly thrown back at you.

This is still very politely putting just how she felt about part 2. It cannot be understated, she legitimately was not happy and hated this.

Then there’s the other, more well known factor as to why the ending wasn’t used.

Pinhead.

Hellraiser was making its way across the pond in America and across home video. It was growing its own cult like following of fans while the sequel was being filmed and by that point, Pinhead had become the fans hero of the series. He was the franchises Freddy and they wanted more of him. I still remember hearing Doug Bradley at the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors as a kid talking about how it struck him the fandom around his character, that he had received multiple. Multiple offers from women wanting him as pinhead to get them pregnant and have his demon children.

I mean you can look at Julia, knowing she could suck your life juices out your throat hole and leave you a dried husk, Some of us may have even paused the film to admire her….skinless…very unneeded but highly detailed…lower regions. You could look at this murderous creature and still think, you know what? Would hit it.

But Pinhead just had that little bit of extra jazz to him that people wanted more of. I guess the idea of a demon taring you apart with chains was more acceptable and desired over the idea of a woman who sucks your soul dry and rips your heart out.

Clive also had another idea he kicked around, and Atkins was onboard for, which he later revisited with a different series of cenobite like figures with his twisted souls series.

Clive pitched the idea of a Hellraiser that would take place with the creation of the first cenobite. The film would take place in ancient Egypt, it would use the pyramids as the earliest design for what would become Leviathan. It’d explain the bridging between our realms, the creation of the box, the cenobites and eventual hierarchy that leviathan brought into hell giving it order.

The idea was politely given a fuck off and no way in hell. It was either Queen Julia of house Bitch slashing people up, or a new family slashing people up.

These ideas were the sanest, eventually they even went as far as, Well. What would become something of the plot in Part 4(and 5) They toyed with the idea of London. Itself. Being a giant configuration. I’m not joking. The idea would be that several churches throughout were connected as part of the lament configuration and if properly activated. Would transform and bring Leviathan to earth, opening a portal to hell unleashing again, hell on earth. The funny thing is all the writers, the ideas, and directors, mixed in with Clive? None of them hated the ideas and were on board with them, so much so to the point even when flat out rejected, they kept the ideas to circle back too. Clive took his Egyptian Hellraiser idea and decided to pitch it to Universal as Clive Barker’s The Mummy, They turned him down, but it stirred up enough interest that we eventually got the adventure comedy series, The Mummy. And as mentioned these lead to short stories he’d end up turning into series, and the tortured souls series of toys and accompanying stories. It was a very cool creative flow and the idea they could all dig each others ideas and still carry them through later. It doesn’t happen nearly as much now, but its so cool to see happen when it does.

Meanwhile with the film readying for its sequel. The studio as we mentioned went under. Once the film was bought up and readied for a new sequel, the Weinsteins made it very clear they were going to change things up, much in the same way Freddy was with Part 4.

They had no desire to bring anyone from the original films back. This was now an American property. Which meant no British talent, and a much different story with no connective tissue to the originals. This would have a new, American cast and story. It would be handled as a slasher film, not a psychosexual horror thriller.

The only reason Ashley Laurence came back for a cameo was thanks to the director and writer wanting to give original fans something to make them happy since so many fans really cared about the character and wanted more of Kirsty Cotton. But she would only serve as a catch the new audience up and explain the power of the box and cenobites.

So the studio had settled on its new approach to a new Hellraiser. Forget the past and enter the future. It would center on a night club that came into possession of the pillar with Pinhead and he would unleash hell on earth.

They just had one problem. The director. The director who made Hellbound Hellraiser 2, Tony Randel was set to direct part 3. He was the one pushing for the Julia story which didn’t work, and he approached them with the idea of carrying with the tone of the last film, doing a bleak, far darker film where hell would ultimately win. A psychological story with a new group discovering the consequences of selfish desires and the solving of the box. More deals with the cenobites. The studio politely said no. we want a straight to the point, by the numbers slasher. Pinhead was to be the star and people wanted him to kill poor souls.

The director wanted substance and story, the studio denied him this. He tried repeatedly and eventually he was fired. They replaced him with Anthony Hickox. Which makes sense with the shift in tone in the film as well as some later inserts. Anthony directed the Waxworks films, he was someone they could rely on doing what they wanted. Quick dirty horror on the low end budget. If you haven’t seen Waxworks. The first and second film are completely different films. The first is a straight forward anthology of cheesy but fun horror, and the sequel was a time travel scifi comedy adventure. It’s really something to see given the story in the first film was fun and interesting. Only to be so different in the sequel that you’d have to check the credits to see if they changed directors given the huge shift. Where the first film was a fun light horror film, the sequel was more like an evil dead 2 comedy to the point of meta parody, while trying to give you a singular story.

It’s funny to mention his making those films, because at one point during Hellraiser 3, Joey calls up her cameraman to tell him about the news story she saw on her television reporting about Pinheads antics at the Boiler Room. He turns his tv to the channel she tells him only to see a woman belly dancing in a medieval film with a snake. That’s a scene from Waxwork 2.

A funny side note and a good reason to rewatch Waxwork, Doug Bradly makes a cameo in the film playing a juror on a court room scene. He snuck Doug on set just after they’d begun getting ready for Hellraiser 3. Also It’s a good excuse to see the film because Bruce Cambpell pops up in the film for a segment as well playing a paranormal investigator. Always fun seeing Bruce.

So back to the film.

With a new capable director joined in their vision, it was go time. Time to bring Pinhead back and in a new look, with America as his new home.

Yes this is where the Fire Nation attacks.

Even with a director on their side, the studio in power and with the writer seemingly on board. It was all set for a good time. But studios, like New Line, still feel the need to meddle. And meddle they did.

The studio wanted to ensure this investment would be a success. Which sounds familiar with how they handled H20 and Halloween Ressurection. So they demanded more pinhead. The story as it was would have more investigation from Joey, more story from Terry, and learning about the box while Pinhead remains trapped and seducing JP into freeing him. They couldn’t have that, so rewrites were the order of the day. They had already begun pushing out a huge marketing campaign with Pinheads face plastered everywhere. Every single poster, every ad and newspaper spot had Doug’s grid pinned face front and center. So more dialog was given, more scenes of him enjoying being a free cenobite while cutting out side stories like Terry and her struggle to get away from JP, how someone ended up with the puzzlebox torn from the pillar and the man ending up torn apart by the configuration in a hospital.  There was also more of a story to do with the man who sold the pillar to JP. In Hellraiser the man is often referred to as the Guardian or Puzzle Guardian. Always collecting the box after and passing it along to the next marked victim.

You don’t need lore, want lore read the books or the comics. This is a movie damnit!

One of the biggest fights the studio had with the film was again with its writer. The man wanted to do something interesting and they wanted something commercial and safe. The trouble came from the films ending.  Which I will hold a grudge against them for having not allowed given how insane it sounded.

Peter Atkins intended, as was his fashion. A much darker ending. Originally Joey still tricks Pinhead to the land of Limbo in her apartment. Pinhead and Elliot still merge together. However instead of stabbing Pinhead with the box. The psychic energy of the event, the two ultra powerful beings fighting together joined in the same space create a reality shattering explosion. Leaving Joey stranded and alone in Limbo. Pinhead though defeated in Limbo, remains joined with his former self and is returned to hell as the cold calculated being we know and love. He’s back where he began and in charge once more in hells good graces.

Joey is mentally broken and destroyed by all of this. Even after she ‘won’ she still lost as Pinhead still lives, and she remains trapped and hopeless. In this ending, Pinhead approaches her and, Joey sides with Pinhead. Becoming an underling of his.

The film would fast forward several years from the climax, much how it does in its final ending anyway. But instead of a lament configuration style building, we have a large news network and the head of this network is Joey. Who appears very much changed. Confident, in power and cold. We learn very quickly she is being used by Pinhead, serving him using the news network to spread hells influence and pure new victims to the puzzle box, all under Pinheads command giving Leviathan and Pinhead their foothold in our world.

This ending would have received the Clive Barker seal of approval as it carried a core theme with all of his Hellraiser stories, the idea that when it comes to the configuration in all its forms. Any dealings with the cenobites, encounters or callings. Going back to Kirsty and the psychological damage she faced after losing her entire family. No one ever wins against the puzzle box without losing their humanity.

Dimension wanted absolutely nothing to do with that.

At all.

They demanded immediate rewrites where Joey DOES defeat Pinhead, walks away the final girl and winning at life. While like Akkad taught us all, leaving a tease at the end giving you an open door for the next inevitable sequel.

Happy they would get their new ending, the studio felt they were onto a winning streak and decided why not further secure our success and fuck around more. Remind everyone who’s in charge here.

This is a pattern like everything else just like the other franchises. If your going to go big? Go fucking big. Remember in Ressurection how they let Busta Rhymes do what he wanted because that would get the younger generation into theaters? The same was done here. Because Pinhead was seen as a bad ass by his fanbase and the most metal figure. Literally and figuratively. With advertising in full swing. They pimped Pinhead out to everyone and anyone to market the film and to make sure they got the young horror hounds in on the film. They pushed for a metal soundtrack straight off of MTV, It influenced the film as they wanted more to push, more to market. This meant the new cenobites. The very cenobites everyone loves from this film SO much that they can’t help but laugh their ass off at.

Let’s tackle this bit of a dingleberry

Keep this in your mind wile we dig into this. Please, for me. The cenobites were and are tragic figures that represent their true selves. A design orchestrated by the engineer with religious like modifications and body mutilations.

For instance one of the least talked about figures. Butterball, the large cenobite with stitched eyes, no ears and an open festering gut wound. In life he suffered depression, a huge perverted fixation he over indulged and and a pure glutton. The engineer modified his body to create what the man was. His body mas wasn’t just kept, it was bulked, his body filled with boiled fats, he was stripped of the ability to ever feel satisfied, to feel fullness. His eyes stitched closed to symbolize his willful blindness to the consequences of his extreme desires, his willing gluttony to destroy his body for the love of being full, his ignorance to those around him and his sick perversions.

The Chatterer as well. A young runaway who escaped physical and sexual abuse, trying to forget his past, to change himself so no one would ever recognize him or desire him the way his abusers did. The Engineer melted his flesh into a raw open blanket of pulled featureless flesh. His eyes and ears melted away keeping him blind and deaf to the world he wished to escape from. His lips gone, his mouth was wired wide open causing an involuntary constant clicking of his teeth, the sound of a scared shivering child for all eternity.

The engineer designed everything to bring to hells light all of your faults and expose yourself to what was within. Pinhead, is not the engineer. So story wise he is simply an upset devoted follower turning against his master, making abominations in his own image.

JP Monroe, the dickhead owner of the Boiler Room.

Obsessed with himself and using abusing women. Collecting them like he collects anything of interest to himself. He liked fucking and using women. So Pinhead shoved two mechanical pistons in his head constantly fucking his mind.

Terry, the lost runaway trying to escape one abusive relationship after the other and JP. Afraid of her own dreams and wanting to escape her life to lead a normal one. She gets a slit in her throat filled with a Cigarette while carrying smokey treats in her hands.

And DJ The most beloved of the group that Dimension loved. DJ the fan favorite. He’s a DJ at a night club, he’s friendly and helpful to people, keeps the music bumping and the bodies grinding. The man gets CD’s buried into his skull and a cd changer in his chest.

There is. A slight change in operations between these designs.

But the studio demanded it. They wanted to market new cenobites and ESPECIALLY DJ because he’s be able to relate to the youth of the day.

To their credit and using the path of least resistance. The writer decided to use what was already there. He used characters already in the script and made them cenobites based off their profession and anything he could think to link up. Without more work. But CD head was absolutely pushed through by the studio and their main man.

Whats worse about this, as always. The writer presented other designs too. Which had more grounded, traditional cenobite design and function. Which the studio flat out trashed. One of my favorite ones they came up with that even Clive Barker loved. Did not like, but loved. Was a legless cenobite known as Torso The cenobite would drag themselves across the floor using large meathooks. It was an incredibly disturbing design and I can understand why Clive loved it. But the studio wanted gimmicks. Atkins even tried expanding on the lore by adding cenobites that were based off psychological phobias, they would be ethereal and were meant for a planned dream sequence that blurred reality and hell with Joey. The studio flatly denied this and called it art house. They again wanted marketable designs and something ‘cool’

Like a bartender wrapped in barbwire who sits flames, a camera man…with a camera in his head.

Bless the writer, because the man really did try salvaging this. To the point he even included the dialog from Pinhead, that these cenobites were ‘Shadows of my former troops’. Trying again to give the impression Pinhead was hastily making his own designs. Establishing his future as the new engineer of our world. He tried. But it just failed with audiences. But the studio got what they wanted.

The studio having shoved their balls onto the dinner plates of most everyone at the table, were pleased. The film got made, and was ready for viewing. If you followed along with our Halloween Article. You should know this is when the Weinsteins would suddenly realize that, when they meddle with productions to get what they want? They end up with shit, and demand someone fix it because it now sucks. Well the same happened here. After they assembled a workprint of the film and viewed it. Bob was incredibly let down and mad. It looked cheap, the film was boring, lacked atmosphere, lacked horror and made no sense. Imagine that. So his answer? His answer came to mirror the studios answer once they came to a sudden realization. Something missing from the film, that appeared on the other films. Something sort of important.

Clive Barker.

Now, everything I’ve mentioned up to this point? Clive barker was involved in early production. From the story idea of going to Egypt and the church of Julia the queen of hell. By the time the studio closed and was bought off, the new owners decided that, them owning the property, having a director, the writer who worked on the last film AND Doug Bradly signed on. They felt they didn’t need Clive Barker or his creative interference. Clive was happy to walk away and remove his name from the film. He wouldn’t endorse it as they treated him like shit, and he stepped away.

Well The Weinsteins realized the previous films had his named plastered on the film, Clive Barker presents, From the Mind of Clive Barker. Etc. This was seen as a seal of horror approval and having his name on the movie would, they felt promise more asses in seats. If he endorses the project baring the name of his creation? You can take it to the bank this will be good. Given his direction on the first, his relationship with the writer and having brought in his friend Doug Bradley to play Pinhead in the first place. It made sense they needed to bring him onboard. So they offered him an executive producer credit. They offered an I’m sorry bag of money and promised him power as a creative voice on the film. That was why he gave his input on the cenobite designs mentioned above. He was shown the film and he agreed this was dog shit.

Clive Barker went to work with the director re-editing the film scene by scene trying to create a better narrative flow. But it wasn’t enough. The studio wanted more horror, which meant more gore. This is sounding like another repeat of other Weinstein Halloween productions.

So Clive agreed with the gore and told the studio we need MORE money! Film the gore, film more kills. Go hog wild bitches! So they did. This is why the Boiler Room got the deaths it did. Originally the most you could hope for was a closed door with bodies slamming into it and blood pooling at the floor. It’s fun to mention this reshoot because if you pay close attention to the bar patrons? One of the people in the bar that get torn apart is Zach Galligan from Gremlins. Who was used by the director in both Waxwork films and was asked to pop in and get murdered by a cenobite.

Atop the gore additions, Barker also added his personal designs. Which while awesome, were also what later added to the film feeling like an odd mix of glued together shots. Clive Barker is why Joey suddenly gets suspended by chains, strapped in BDSM and a fleshy cum oozing appendage with blades and biomechanical tools grows out of the floor to begin torturing her.

He also sided with the writer, as a fellow writer and the father of these films, by slowing down the pace of the film and making sure to change bits of lore surrounding the cenobites and his puzzle box. Keeping these things consistent and making logical sense. That’s why the lament configuration turns into its leviathan configuration which Joey stabs Pinhead with, even if the script and original descriptive audio referred to it as “Stabbed with a blade”.

NOW the film was ready. It made sense. The story was salvaged. Clive gave it his approval and would attach his “Clive Barker Presents” seal of approval. The studio felt rewarded for their meddling and all was right with the world.

Except we  should know by now, given Halloween….Nightmare on Elm Street….and Friday the 13th.

They still had to face the MPAA, and dear lord was it funny.

After using a turkey baster and shoving in all the gore and dark atmosphere the film was missing? Every fucking frame of it was removed.

So the film was edited a second time and sent off for another viewing.

They were told to remove the sexual imagery. No titties, no ass, the no more than 2 thrust rule still applied.

So the film was edited a third time.

With the film now back to its original state of being a confused mess with disjointed scenes, quick edits and slimmed down kills. The movie was ready for release onto the world, It was granted the R rating it wanted.

The film, like a lot of these we’ve discussed. Was not a success among the fans or critics. It was seen as cheesy, comedic over scary. The story made little to no sense. The effects were dated even for the time. No one liked any of the new cenobites. I still remember being their opening night as a kid. My cousin and her late husband took me to see it. I was with the big kids this movie was marketed for. Everyone was laughing through a majority of the movie and at the end. It wasn’t a laughing with you laughter either. But I didn’t care because I got to see an R rated horror movie, specifically my first Hellraiser in theater on the big screen. It was the height of my life at the moment, especially being in a theater with true gore hounds.

So audiences didn’t like it, but the film. Like those before it. Made a profit. It made more money than Hellbound had. The movie was made for $5 million, and grossed $12.5 million. Which for the franchise was a decent start, It wasn’t the same numbers as the other franchises, but this was a British established franchise making its mark over in America, had it started in the states it would have been making Nightmare numbers and reached a larger audience. Not at all underselling its success, but saying this is why when looking at the numbers compared to the other franchises? It wasn’t that Hellraiser was a niche franchise. It very much wasn’t.

This was one of the big boys and Dimension was very much wanting to set aside a podium meant for Pinhead after the first film took off as quickly as it did in the states.

It’s both unfortunate but fortunate that Dimension picked them up. I don’t know who else could have picked it up or would have. The idea of New Line picking them up still makes me wonder what could have been had they. But this is the world we live in, and this film is in that world. Whether we like it or not.

The finger of blame on this film being what it was is easily placed on the studio. But they don’t care. To them, they succeeded in exactly what they hoped. Makin’ money. With the money in the bag, making more than the sequel which was still loved by fans even if divided. They made more, they succeeded, this meant a sequel could go forward and instead of a hodge podge mess. This one would be different. This one would be better.

Since Clive Barker was brought on as an executive producer, and Atkins was enjoying the collaboration. They began trading ideas for the eventual followup. One of which, even if the more ludicrous of the ideas. Would become a large part of the next story.

Ladies and Gentleman, we are about to enter the downfall of the franchise in all it’s beautiful glory. You aren’t ready for this one. But hey, at least we can’t have worse than CD head right?

Right?

Hellraiser Bloodline

Alan Smithee. This is the name of the day, and the film.

Alan Smithee. It’s a very important name in filmmaking, and it is famously attached to this beautiful film. Alan Smithee put his name to Hellraiser Bloodline, he put it there among other famous Hollywood films such as Death of a Gunfighter in the late 60’s. He even put it on the tv sequel to Hitchcock’s The Birds.

And now, he was lending it here. To Hellraiser Bloodline. Which means this film has a touch of true Hollywood history attached to it.

Just remember this name. I promise it is important to the films direction and overall success, as this film is very incredibly well known in Hollywood, especially in horror and is still to this day a study in filmmaking. But we will eventually get into that. I promise you that.

For now lets discuss the Hellraiser sequel made for my generation in the sense that, as I said. Hellraiser 3 was my first Hellraiser experience in a theater. Much in the same as Dream Warriors was my first Freddy film in theaters, and followed up with seeing its sequel in theaters. Making it my first official following for a franchise. Everyone of us has this with a franchise. It’s the moment we jumped in and  began following as a fan. Thanks to home video I got to be introduced to all those we’ve covered so far. I still very much remember when my family took me and my sister to see Twins, down the hallway beside our line waiting to get in, was the screen showing Hellbound Hellraiser 2 and I felt like throwing a fit, because I rented the first Hellraiser and I wanted to see the sequel! Granted there was no way in hell an 8 year old should see that movie, but was fine being left alone to watch the first one on video well. It was a different time. HAD I seen part 2 and my parents dragged me out after the first few minutes I could claim THAT as my first experience. But alas.  No, I got stuck with Hell on Earth. So seeing part 4 its direct follow up. Would be my next experience. I would be all of 16 seeing this one, and I was able to see it with one of my cousins, Mike. Who is now a born again Christian. I mention that only because he’s the other, other born again. The kind that if they say ‘damn’ will look up to the sky and say sorry, and gave me all their Metallica and Ozzy tapes and CD’s because it was no longer for them. Stryper was all they could rock if not CREED. So. Thanks for this ‘experience’ Mike.

This had my hopes up. Part 3 had cool moments I liked as a kid, and the experience had more to do with it than anything. But by this time, I was deep into horror. I was buying and reading Fangoria magazine and keeping up with horror news. I loved seeing Freddy and Jason on the cover, reading about and seeing photos from early scenes and behind the scenes. Hellraiser Bloodline was the same. I read every article they put out on it and ate up each photo released. When I saw the French aristocrat looking cenobites(or victims) I was losing it. It was the same experience I had when I rented Hellbound on VHS, when I saw the famous deleted scene still of Pinhead and the female cenobite dressed as doctors. I couldn’t wait to see this.

It’s also worth mentioning, because I love being reminded how fucking old I am. That this came out a little after America Online, Prodigy, and Compuserve were all competing for your money so you could surf the information super highway we know as the internet. I mention this because as I shared, this was a time where every known adult website posted the exact same set of photos across each site, and a single photo took 30 seconds to load. This was also the time video online was introduced and video on your PC. Like the really cool feature of having audio and video clips from the Encyclopedia Britannica CD-ROM. They released film clips and trailers online. Which you would watch on a 14 inch CRT monitor. With cheap Soundblaster speakers.

I watched the most heavily pixelated trailer for Hellraiser Bloodline, and was excited for it. It was a hard time growing up in the fucking 90’s and this was the top of the pyramid for all of us. Video games were growing to be impressive. So we took what we could get okay?

The film came out, my cousin took me to see it, and we both agreed and even said, Well…that was shit. Well my cousin did, I said “Well that was an experience” he went with shit and I agreed.

My 2nd Hellraiser film in theaters was a bomb, but more then that? It also would be the last Hellraiser film I would see in theaters. Because after this film ‘dominated’ the big screen? They never released another one in theaters, ever again.

The story.

The film takes place in the future. The future of space, 2127. On a space station there is a loan man. Dr. Paul Merchant. His space station is being stormed by space cops, as space cop runs around the station to locate him. He’s using an android to solve the Lament configuration through a VR headset. It was the 90’s we thought this was high tech future shit. He solves the box declaring himself safe as Babys-first-android opened the box, not him. This summons Pinhead and his new minions to the station. Somehow locking them in a sealed room. As pinhead threatens him and he in turn threatens Pinhead, he is soon discovered by space cop and knocked out. Black bagged and interrogated on his station.

Through the interrogation we learn that he is a rogue engineer who took over the station, which was a government military station, and was doing something. So the space cops were deployed to investigate. The interrogation isn’t going to go anywhere because the woman interrogating him lets him ramble. So he takes us back to 17796 France. Introducing us to the father of the Lament configuration. A struggling toy maker, Philip Lemarchand. Which is in the Hellraiser lore and book The Hellbound Heart. He was renowned for his inventive mechanical butterflies and the such. Well here he is commissioned to make the puzzle box by France’s premier magician and occult specialist. The magician intends to use this box to help create a doorway to another dimension, hell. The toy maker after delivering his box wished to see if the man was pleased with his creation. Which he was. As he witnesses the happy Frenchmen use the skin of a dead French whore to play host to a summoned demon, whom he dubs, Angelique.

Not the namesake of my cat, just a coincidence. Though she is a bit evil, it’s less a thing of hell. But I digress. Angelique must serve the magician, as tells the audience, he who summons the magic, controls the magic. In this case a demon princess. He also tells us an important rule, that he who summons the magic not only controls but commands the demon, and the only way it can harm you, is if you stand in hells way. Very important for later. Merchant is less than thrilled his box summoned a demon into the world, has a mid life crisis. Sure he was well paid but he comes from a time where your name carried honor and this was besmirching his honor. So he determines that, if he created a box that could summon demons, surely then he could create one that can destroy them. So he sets out designing just that. But must gather his original box and destroy it. Good plan, lets do it!

Angelique kills the toymaker and the man that summoned her, decided it better to serve and bang his assistant. So now we fastforward to the magical year of

Present day New York City, 1996.  For several hundred years Angelque and the magicians assistant live as immortals in France. Banging and murdering, until she realizes the toymaker had a wife and kid. So his bloodline continues on, and the threat remains that he could potentially destroy the gateway his box created. However there is also the possibility it could be used to create a larger, more permanent gateway. So she ask her immortal Loverboy to venture off to America and start killing people to track down the toy maker. He wants to stay in Paris and bone, having spent time there, I can agree it’s a good plan. Just not one you want to argue with a demon. Which I also can attest too. Well the man over the years through drinking and getting his dick wet, forgot his masters most important lesson. As he denies her a trip together, she ask permission to go on her own, he says no lets bang. So with that he is painfully reminded not to stand in hells way, and she tares out his heart. Setting out for America to kind Merchant and help with his work, or kill him. Who knows.

As she does, and discovers the man has a family. She decides out of boredom and the script to summon Pinhead. Who is also bored and wondering why she’d call him up in the middle of the night. If ain’t for booty, you just want someone to vent too and he’s not enjoying being the emotional tampon.

So merchant has designed buildings and contraptions and has begun working on his grand design. A light up building, with moving parts designed off his fathers box.

I’m not joking. The theatrical cut doesn’t say a fucking thing. Seeing this in theaters you are sitting there like, wow this guy has the high profile fat cats of new York with him what’s he unveiling….oh. Flashing lights and moving cogs. I guess, art?

So his art piece fails and he gets approached by Angelique. Who wants to seduce him into giving her his secrets. But he’s a family man that won’t give it up or his pants. This upsets Angelique and a bored Pinhead says enough of the cat and mouse shit. He kidnaps the mans son and wife using them as life bait. He lures Merchant to him and begs him to finish his artwork. So he promises to do so if they let his wife and kid live.

Pinhead says sure fuck it why not. Light this candle. And he does. The wall parts move, lights turn on, and Pinhead is reminded why no one likes or cares for Modern Art. If you think its bad today it was worse in the 90’s. Now people just aren’t fucking trying.

So as any critic would, Pinhead kills the artist. His wife now a widow solves the puzzlebox and sends Pinhead and angelique to hell.

The film finally brings us back to the future. The future of space. His tale told and how we get our finale. The space cops free the cenobites believing Merchant had locked children up in his ceno-trap room. Cenobites on Pinheads orders begin killing everyone as Merchant helps the lady space cop who interrogated him escape the station. Pinhead is understandable upset by this, and will be even more upset when he realizes what the station is, and didn’t ever really hide. Merchant initiated a final solution, after releasing his manifesto on the station for the cenobites to ponder, he pushes the big red button and the space station begins to transform into the largest imaginable puzzle box. Trapping Pinhead and his pals, blowing up and destroying them. The box, and the gateway. Forever sealing hell behind its old locked gate. Ending the franchise in the cold dark place horror franchises comically all end up at eventually. If they’re lucky.

You don’t need me or a magician summoning demons into dead whores to know, that this film was butchered before the cenobites ever got to it. It was. Horribly so.

This film is legendary in the halls of horror lore and history, for its production, what it went through, and the fact that the famous director Alan Smithee directed it.

Alan Smithee is the name, of a director. Who does not exist.

In Hollywood this was a name created long ago, when another director had to step in and finish a film for another director. He didn’t want credit for the film as he only did a few shots. So he asked his name be removed and used instead the fake name, Alan Smithee. It became a famous thing in Hollywood used on a very small handful of films. If you ever had a director kicked off of, walked off from, or died during production so you bring in another, and that director didn’t want his name attached. Alan Smithee was used. It has never been attached to a good film. This film was the second to last that got too use it before the name was officially retired in Hollywood as the public had learned of it and knew what that meant if the name was on the film.

That is just a sample of what awaits. But as always let us begin on the hopeful side of things. The story.

Now as setup in the previous film Hell on Earth, we had a future ahead of us where the box was used as a building design. Giving us questions, was it a cult like Scientology? Was it just a cool design or did someone let hell run loose and they got their own news network like Joey would’ve given had she sided with Pinhead.

Clive liked the idea of delving into the mystery of that building and answering those questions. Creating an interesting world. But it was hard to decide where to go with that, and the idea of explaining what that building was had become just a bit too big. So to the writing board they went, and oh dear god the ideas they spitballed.

Clive Barker, like we mentioned in Hell on Earth had debated bringing the franchise to Egypt, with the idea of using the Egyptians as the stage for the invention of the puzzle box. Using the pyramids and ancient ceremonies as a catalyst for the boxes creation, and even going so far as claiming the pyramids themselves were configurations built by hell. These pyramids were build to contain the demons, much like the space station ended up doing. This also was an idea he pitched during Part three where it was London itself that was a giant configuration achieving the same. So the idea was always there. He just couldn’t land on how to use it effectively. So the idea was scraped. His next idea, is one that again thanks to the toy line and his short stories he was able to materialize in the early 2000’s.

He wanted to do a Hellraiser in the wild west era. The film would follow an old timey circus trope, traveling the western frontier going town to town, uneil they would stumble upon the box, unleashing hells own circus on the world. Clive really loved the idea of combining cowboys and the occult. I don’t know what a wild west Pinhead and cenobites would look like. But if we got Pinhead in a cowboy hat, I’d pay to see it.

But period pieces are expensive, that would mean costumes, extras, and shooting out in the middle of nowhere or a ghost town. The studio was not willing to play ball on this. However Peter Atkins liked the idea of visiting a different time and place all together, I mean the film originated in London and came to America so why not? He pitched the idea to Clive about 18th century France in the film and again, this got put on the back burner with a sticky note.

So the next idea took them away from time travel much to the glee of the studios bank account. Instead. The idea was pitched

Let’s do The ROCK meets Hellraiser!

Yes. They came up with a story, and no it’s not a joke or manifestation from pure Columbian bam-bam.

The film would take place on Alcatraz island during the 90’s. A very active tourist site as it’s remained, and on one such trip for tourist, an occultist is among them. Carrying with them the puzzle box. They also pitched the idea the box was buried there by an inmate and a cult devoted to the box, much like was pitched with Julia before, learned its location and visit the island ala The Rock and uncover the box. Either way the story ends with the box being solved and the Cenobites coming to slaughter the tourist and guards. It was pitched as a tight spaced action adventure horror film with everyone stuck on an island surrounded by killer sharks and hells servants.

Atkins pitched the idea. He was into the lore of the prison and wanted to use its dark history as part of the story, adding in a dash of dark occultism, ghost of the damned who lived and died at the prison. He wanted to weave a ghost story where not only Cenobites but the ghost haunting the prison would rise as well. The idea set in with him that the cultist would unleash hell on the island because given its dark history the island could easily serve as a thin weak spot in the wall separating Hell and our world. So unleashing the configuration would ultimately unleash all of hell .

It was ambitious and, I mean it’s funny to think, honestly. After covering all of Nic Cages films in our old podcast, I would’ve loved seeing Cage in this. It’d still be horrifically bad but. I’d still enjoy it for that alone.

But the studio, even though it would take place in modern day and no period piece sets or costumes would be required. They felt it wasn’t grand. The idea of the old island prison as a setting for their franchise seemed lackluster and cheap. Their thinking was, when you bring hell to earth, you don’t take hell to Alcatraz after that. You go big or go home.

Much like the three bears, the first film was too costly, the second was too boring. So surely the next one would be just right.

Having worked together on these films. Atkins and Barker shared a lot of the same ideas and views. They were the only ones who cared to tell a narrative story that would please fans, build the lore, and respect the characters. The studios are the ones fucking them on these endeavors. The two put their minds together and decided on one goal. This film would be the end of the franchise. It had reached a 4th film. It didn’t need more. So that being the case, this would have to be the one to destroy the gate between realms and destroy the box. They would expand on the history of the box by visiting the past showing its creation. They would then introduce the idea of using the box to destroy the gateway and cenobites, and the final act would be the execution of the device and the end to Hellraiser.

They came to the one logical conclusion with the story and series. It would have to take place in the future. In Space.

Space was not just pitched out of comedy, it was believe it or not an actual trend that was selling and people loved the idea of. Jason X had fun in space and people though the film crashed and burned did enjoy the idea of Jason in space. Leprechaun went to space as well as to the hood, twice. So Pinhead in space was an idea the studio could get behind. It gave everyone what they wanted. Clive could visit the past finally, Atkins could explore darker contemporary themes in modern day, and the studio would bring hell to space.

Thus the story was formed and the script spawned.

Here’s where things get interesting. The script as it was, was told much in the same was as Coppola’s cut of The Godfather 2. It would be told in chronological order beginning in France, then current day New York, and end in Space on the station. There was no interrogation. A majority of the film would take place in France. Exploring the toy maker and how he was commissioned to build the box. Angelique and the magician would go on a murder spree through France cutting down the elites. They would have fancy masquerade ball’s and gamble for the box like a party favor. It would lead to multiple victims, the growing fear in France of something evil being afoot. The toy maker and his wife were more fleshed out and he eventually out of curiosity would stumble onto the massacres, Ending with his death and the reveal that his wife was pregnant and his lineage would continue on.

The modern day setting was much different as well. Merchant was commissioned to design an entirely Green energy building. It would rely on prismatic light to generate energy, a self sustaining building with fresh plants, vegetables air and the future of our new world. Angelique meanwhile would use the puzzlebox in an attempt to summon French demons. Specifically clowns that were introduced during the first half of the film. She would use these to kill people and torment the toy maker. Instead though, Pinhead comes through the box. Both represent different periods of hells hierarchy which Clive explored in his stories and the comics. Angelique represented hells more chaotic temptation and desire. Classic literature hell, where humans choose to ruin themselves through their own impulses and desires. Where as Pinhead represented the Bureaucracy of leviathans order and nihilism. Where humanity was more the cow waiting for the slaughter, put through the grinder of a well oiled highly efficient machine.

The two demons would struggle for power. Angelique wanting to tempt Merchant to betray his wife and family. To fall for her charms and give her the power of his grand design and destroy Pinhead. While on the opposite end Pinhead saw the mechanism Merchant had created, exactly as he worded it in the film, a holocaust waiting to happen. The door with which hell could cross over and reap the world of its flesh. The two would fight one another and use their different methods to lure and push Merchant to serve them. Ultimately the two drive Merchant to the breaking point. Pinhead discovers Angeliques plans to destroy him, and Merchant would activate the mechanism to kill them both. Ultimately dying as well in the process.

By the time we get to space. Merchant is an accomplished doctor in science, he has constructed the Elysium station for the government. He smuggles himself aboard the station, evacuating all aboard and plans his ultimate move, a self sacrifice to trap the cenobites and destroy the box, hells door, all of it. He also had help in this, he had the help of his partner, Corraine Cotton. Yes Kirsty had her own bloodline tied into this and she would ultimate have hers joined in time with Merchant to finish off hell for good and all.

Surprisingly. Some of this managed to survive. They already knew the studio would not let them have their fun in France. So they cut it down dramatically. However they still kept the grotesque masquerade of death. That’s where the pictures I saw in Fangoria came from.

The studio happy with themselves greenlighting the production did what they did famously before with Halloween. They began nodding their head, congratulating themselves before realizing what they just did, and the end result. Plays out entirely like the opening gag from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. Believe me it fits this entirely and scarily well.

Once the studio greenlit the script, they had a moment of clarity realizing. Oh shit. We just greenlit a project that’s a period piece, a massive modern day building set, and a sci-fi film. We can’t afford ANY of this! So the panic began

The Art Department was set to task and began developing 18th century France. This including full Chateaus, A morgue, recreating French steets and a large scale ballroom, dining hall and gambling den. Then there was the skyscraper, shooting in the city, designing large sets for the cenobite showdown, the lemant green energy machine and the Merchant household. Lastly there was the design of both the space station, the Elysium station cube, the police shuttle craft, outfits, weapons , The android and new cenobites for each generation.

The entire Art department was sacked and replaced with low-cost replacements

The Camera Crew and Cinematography department was ready to begin making this last entry the grand film it deserved. The director wanted to honor Atkins and Barker’s vision of sending the franchise off in a grand cinematic look. He planned moody sets, atmospheric shadows and an emphasis on light vs darkness. The camera crew ate it up as did the Cinematography department. This is what ALL of them went to film school for . So expensive lighting would be brought in, elaborate setups would be constructed to add atmosphere and mood to the scenes.

The entire Camera Crew and Cinematography department have been sacked and replaced with low-cost crews instructed to use standard point and shoot setups and film as quickly as possible.

With his entire creative crew replaced by Llamas, and his camera crew as well. The director Kevin Yagher struggled incredibly to film this…thing. He attempted as much of his vision within the limited scope he was allowed. But he did it. Him and his stressed out editors put together a 110 minute cut of the film. They told the studio they still needed to finish a lot of effects for the films finale and other shots. But this was very nearly done.

The entire editing department was sacked and replaced with a low-cost group of editors given the simple task to dissect the film, remove sub plots and main plot elements to force a non-linear framing and get pinhead on screen the moment the film starts.

The director refused this. He did not want to re-edit and butcher his film. He flat out refused to bow down and destroy it. He had reached his breaking point. He told Bob Weinstein to give him the last of the budget to finish the effects and then he’ll be done with all of this.

Kevin Yagher was a very renowned physical effects director. The man could make these things look very real, and incredibly scary. He’s just the man special effects departments love to work for because he understood how they worked and how to film it. He’d designed and setup multiple creature effects using state of the art special effects and just needed the last of the budget to wrap up his film.

The studio withheld the funds, locking him out of the budget entirely as payback for not falling to their wishes to edit the film forcing him to walk out instead of firing him. He was replaced with another director.

The studio brought in their hired gun. Just like the other departments this was a director that could be labeled a company man. The man who took over the project was also one we’ve covered previously. Oh yes. They brought in the man who made Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers, Joe Chappelle.

He was given the same mandate as the other low-cost groups. “Fix the structure, put Pinhead in EVERYTHING, bring it down to a marketable slasher runtime” the guy was young and wanting to make a name for himself. So he said yes sir, okay sir, as you wish. He wasn’t going to finish the directors film. He was going to film according to studio notes. Which meant mass rewrites.

The Director was not the only one tired with things who walked away. The studio also managed to greatly upset and push out the door Peter Atkins, they lost their writer. So rewrites were, a bit challenging to say the least.

He took 12 weeks to reshoot and edit the film into exactly what the studio asked for.

Chappelle added the interrogation scenes on the space station. He added bloodier deaths instead of drawn out slow kills to help with pacing. He also moved the story narrative to a flashback format over the generations.

He did everything the studio asked of him and completed their vision, their version of the film.

But he never got credit for the film. All his work and he wouldn’t receive a single credit. Because the original director refused to take the studios flat out bullshit laying down. He legally fought Dimension films and went to the Directors Guild of America. The studio directly violated their laws by not only interfering with the film but outright sabotaging it with locking out the director and refusing to pay for his work. The sudden sackings, all of it. Yagher slapped down his final Uno card, as he was forced to remove himself and refused to put his name to the film, and the studio brought in another director, they slapped on the famous Hollywood director, Alan Smithee.

No one would get or want credit for this film.

And again, after all of this. The film was ready, for the MPAA.

Yeah. They still hadn’t gotten to that stage yet. Which again. They never learned their lesson. When you know the MPAA will cut out your gore, why. Why in the name of Leviathan would you say film MORE gore.

So yes, the MPAA took the film and slapped it with an NC-17. Which meant, all the gore was severely cut down. Angelique as we discussed in the story, was meant to portray a different era of hell. Seduction and temptation. The film had a lot of nudity in its French sequences, as well as sex dreams and the like. The usual fair from Hellraiser. All of it. Every scene of it was removed.

Entire kills were removed, and. Refilmed. Without the cast.

Yes. When they needed to do reshoots, only core. Must have cast. Merchant, Pinhead, Angelique and the like were called back and paid. Other actors? Their deaths and characters? Cut out entirely, or body doubles used. This is also why suddenly people would be dragged off into the ether by chains versus torn apart. It’s also why the birth of the twins and their own kill in the film were cgi heavy and blood light. People were not happy about being cut from the film or called back, to say the least. But the film. Got. Finished.

It made it through, it was a jumbled mess. But this wasn’t the end. Oh god no. The film was released

The film cost $4 million total.

It made $9.3 million.

As a reminder, Hellraiser Hell on Earth was msde for $5 million and made 12.5 million.

Audiences and critics hated it. Anyone, not just then but even today. Anyone who watches this movie can see it was a mangled mess. Scenes jump from one to the other. Characters are completely forgotten and nothing felt right. The critics tore it apart as the jumbled mess it was. The director made it known he was done wrong and it quickly failed in theaters. But again, it made JUST enough, to make back their cost.

But again. This wasn’t the end. The studio didn’t just destroy the production. They literally destroyed their franchise and began a new era that people thought died out years ago.

Firstly, the fallout of this film was so great, that the studio sacked everyone. Every executive, producer. Anyone who greenlit this film. Anyone they recalled saying Atkins multi-generational story was a good idea? They were sacked. It’s like what you would expect when a company is bought out by another and begins mass layoffs. Only this was a purge centered on Hellraiser.

Next the studio lost the man they paid to bring back. Clive Barker. Barker was livid. They pissed him off beyond measure, between what his friend Atkins went through, their original story and them firing the entire creative team, he couldn’t believe it. But them absolutely destroying his characters, his creation and work, putting his name on the film. He was done. From that moment on he never had anything to do with or wanted anything to do with Hellraiser.

This was the last Hellraiser to ever receive a theatrical release. The Weinsteins, not accepting any responsibility decided their was no market theatrically for this series, should it continue. If it would in fact continue, and it would as they did buy it to make a profit. It would continue in the lost era first made popular with the introduction of video stores. Hellraiser would be a strict straight-to-video franchise.

Hellraiser would release  6 more sequels direct to video.

What’s worse, is they can’t even be called sequels. They aren’t and they simply weren’t. Out of the six ‘sequels’ that Dimension released? I wish I were joking, but again. I’m not. Of the six direct to video sequels, only two of them. Two of them, were written as Hellraiser films.

Which is the next, and greatest sin committed not only against Hellraiser as a series, but to other writers and directors. And we will get into. Two films from concept to script were written Hellraiser films. The others? Were crime stories they already owned, were in the works, and they told them to write in Pinhead for a few minutes and release as a Hellraiser film.

I shit you not.

After just two films under Dimension films studio, they shuttered Hellraiser and held onto the rights by gluing the name on other films. Just to hold onto it incase they ever revisited it.

This is the reason fans stopped after Bloodline. Why sets include the first 4, and the rest of the films you have to purchase separately. You will never see a box set of all the Hellraiser films. No one would buy them. No one would ask for them. They successfully killed a franchise they bought and planned to make one of the flagships of their studio where horror thrives.

Over the years I would see a new Hellraiser title pop up, and I would subject myself to them. And every one of them carried with Dimensions last mandate since Hell on Earth. Put Pinhead front and center on every poster, every box art. As much as fans of Star Wars and Star Trek complain about their films, and failed shows. Going on about how badly they were butchered, and I can agree and do. Disney’s trilogy is an absolute dog shit death of a fandom. But as much as I and they can and do bitch about them. I will always get that look Rambo has when listening to people talk about the world and changing it. That thousand yard stare knowing these 6 next entries exist. That Hellraiser Judgment exist.

For this article, and this article alone. I am revisiting these films. I’m not being dramatic when I say I’ve never watched any of these movies a second time. I never did. Once was far more than they deserved.

And now, I will watch them all a second time, for this, and you. I’m going to need a drink for this next one. Ready yourselves to experience the cop drama era of hell.

Hellraiser Inferno

For better or worse, Hellraiser was entering into the new phases of its life.

The once beloved franchise was discarded to its own personal hell, direct to video releasing. No longer would fans line up to see what they did with the series, instead you had to follow Fangoria or the growing collection of newsgroups alerting people to the films. It was incredibly disheartening and as a fan it killed you inside. Because there was still love for these films. But knowing it was severely mishandled and robbed of the same gory glory Michael, Jason, Freddy and hell even Leatherface and Chucky were riding on. It just sucks man.

Worst of all was the quick realization that befell fans as they started discovering these new sequels. That each one wasn’t a Hellraiser written film, but a film with hellraiser inserted into it. Mind you this isn’t anything new. Studios do this often and its still done to varying degrees today. The most recent one I can think of off the top of my head was The Cloverfield Paradox, originally it was an independent science fiction film J.J. Abrams Bad Robot acquired the writes and re-tooled the film during its production and reshoots to insert the Cloverfield name, monster and bits of story to connect it with his films. That wasn’t the first time either. They did the same thing with their much more popular film 10 Cloverfield Lane, that originally was called The Cellar and was a tense thriller about a woman kidnapped by a crazed doomsday prepper. They just added the alien element and wham. Cloverfield Universe.

Covering Nicholas Cage films we learned the sequel to 8mm also suffered the same. The studio had a direct to video film that would likely do ‘okay’ but given the success of 8mm, adding the name to it and branding the film as a sequel, that could help its box office.

It’s all about gambling.

When you visited Blockbuster, and early video stores. The walls were lined with three types of films. Blockbuster big released from the theater. Classics everyone would go for, and slop. Usually those slop films were the bread and butter of studios to pump out. Like erotic crime dramas, crooked cop stories, science fiction and especially horror. Someone would always give those a try, it’s essentially what Tubi has become, and it’s why I wrote reviews. Being subjected to the trash like a raccoon looking for a piece of steak, you have to go through a lot of filth to find it, but when you do. Oh man is it nice.

It’s just unfortunate Hellraiser was now swimming with the slop, when had it been handled better. It could have either had a graceful ending with the intended part 4, or given care with its story. It could have gone different places. But here we are, a hell even the cenobites couldn’t escape, and eventually died out.

So the story of this one, as retooled by the studio?

This film follows the adventures of corrupt junky puzzle solving happy detective Joseph Thorne. He’s hot into the case of a new killer ritualistically killing people and leaving childrens fingers at crime scenes. During his investigation he stumbled upon an odd puzzle box, which he decides to solve because. Well it’s a puzzle box and he’s established as being obsessed with puzzles.

This leads him into some vague, semi sexual and lightly bloody dreams of making out with two hot faceless chicks fingering his chest. Because some people are into special things and we don’t judge them, to their face.

Pretty soon anyone this puzzled detective associates with, ends up brutally, ritualistically murdered. Found again with the finger of a child. Of course this would temper his career and what remains of his reputation, so he spends some good time cleaning up any signs of his having visited these people before they die. As he delves deeper into this murder mystery he uncovers the killer, someone known simply as “The Engineer”, a terrifying figure people are too scared to talk about but all have heard stories about.

As the film progresses and his investigation leads him from hookers, to blow, to informants, to booger sugar, to drug dealer connections, to crystal smile powder. He begins losing more of his sanity. Seeing hellish visions of demons, a figure adorned in leather and nice slacks. Beating, slashing, and whipping them like they’re making a meringue. The closer he gets, the more reality blurs and the more people die. This literally just keeps happening but he’s coked to the gills and keeps going down the rabbit hole.

No one believes the man and his visions, he’s a loose cannon. A man on the edge and he’s needing a break. But he’s just too damn good of a cop. As he struggles with visions, itchy teeth and people around him dying. He’s told by his captain to go talk to the police departments head shrink. Who is very welcoming and ready to help him. It’s a paint by numbers story you can kind of see where it’s all going. Only it’s had Hellraiser shoved into it, so it’s not going to end up with him being the killer at the end, or meeting a bunch of BDSM killers holding a fingerless child hostage for fun.  Instead as everyone he knows, cared about and screwed over are finally dead, he decides maybe it’s time to visit the doctor and let him tell me I’m not going crazy.

Thankfully the board certified doctor calms him down and explains he in fact is not crazy. He’s a little over worked but not at all crazy. The man just loves his nose candy. He also explains that he knows of the engineer. As a manifestation of an over worked coked up detective, who also stumbled upon a puzzle box which vanished from evidence. Which sounds oddly familiar and especially when our bloody nosed detective produces the box. But that’s nothing to think too much on, it’s just a huge chunk of foreshadowing.

As all hardened, drug abusing, drinking, corrupt, whore mongering detectives discover, the best medicine when your going insane is to finally head home to the wife and kid you have and never see. Sadly he’s so far gone this doesn’t comfort him. As it only ever serves any hardened detective to send them back out on the street and back on the trail. Well that and his wife tells him about a phonecall she got from his mom saying she was with a friend of his claiming to be some sort of engineer.

Yep, they’re now dead too. The mom and dad he never visited in the hospital are now victims of the ever elusive tricky Mr. Engineer.

Or at least that’s what he THOUGHT!!! Yes he suddenly wakes up on his entirely too small marital bed only to have his wife startled and tell him while he slept, his mother called saying they had a visitor, a friend of his-you get the picture. Reality blurring etc, etc. Well he goes again to the hospital. His parents are indeed dead, and there is another two kids fingers left by the engineer.

Well the movie keeps circling around repeating itself because it’s just that creative, and ultimately we get to our finale. Jospeh discovers his Doctor he vaguely talked to once, told him all about the box and the engineer coming from a coked out detective chasing a murderer, is in fact not a doctor of the mind, but a doctor of pain. The doctor is revealed to be Pinhead. Yes he finally made an appearance in the movie. Only to deliver 3 or so lines before walking off and leaving Joseph to further ponder what even is reality, and just what the hell is going on. That’s the simple part surprisingly. If no one figured it out already. Joseph is in hell. His own hell. Jospeh solved the puzzlebox and was killed when he did. Bringing him to a psychological never ending hell of the mind. Where he watches people around him die, loved ones tortured and worst of all the cocaine wasn’t even real, it was just baby powder!

That’s our film. No one was being murdered for real, no one was cutting kids fingers off. The bun was in his mind the whole time and he’s been suffering in hell. Honestly it did make me laugh because we see his parents he abandoned to a hospital turn their kill switch on and try to kill their son. He blows them away with his shotgun and zero hesitation, but the moment his partner shows up and starts chucking knifes at him, he’s willing to let him throw several at him while pleading to stop. Even in death he didn’t care for moms cookies and dads love.

So yes, that’s the movie.

The man died solving the box, his evil and sin was the engineer given form in hell, and Pinhead shows up so he can explain it all to us. Appearing in the film to deliver his lines and send hooks and chains toward Joseph making it an official Hellraiser entry.

It’s not, the worst of these direct to video sequels. It’s an interesting idea, that plays off more as something you would see in a fan made movie or at the worst, a Hellraiser TV series. Honestly it plays off like the tongue in cheek Freddy’s Nightmares series. Just done with a little more attempted seriousness.

To say it was an odd experience for hellraiser fans that decided to stick around after Bloodline. Well. It is that. But it also served as a strict reminder, much like Joseph learned in his new eternity to repeatedly suffer over and over the same fate, the same story. That this was now the hell fans were going to endure. Odd stories with glimpses of cenobites and a special guest appearance from Pinhead.

It doesn’t help, or say much for that matter. That rewatching this and the others? I only remembered one murder scene, and Pinhead in the snow. It’s not because the film is forgettable. Which it really is, that only contributes to it. It’s the fact that every one of these films, seems to blur into the next and repeat itself almost. Like a predictable Dungeon Master who had one good campaign and keeps reusing his favorite creatures and story, just poorly repeating the campaign and everyone being tired of it. `                However the film is a good honest attempt at its story. It just got fucked over by the studio when it was retooled as a Hellraiser film.

I really do mean that. The very interesting part of this film and my solid belief it was good at one time? Is that this was the directorial debut of Scott Derrickson. The first movie of his I saw was one I heard about because of my fondness for the fun revies written by Robert Cargill who the internet knew as Massawyrm. He actually is the reviewer who got me into the idea of writing reviews and doing so in my way. The two became good friends and ended up working on together and releasing SINISTER, one of my favorite films I wish we got more of.

He also might be more known to Marvel fans as the man who directed Doctor Strange or another good solo watch if you ignore the sequel. Black Phone.

This now upsets me. Because even MORE SO this would be a fun idea to see the movie he intended to make! Shit like this makes it frustrating and the idea of having your first gig and a script/story you liked, wanting to sink your teeth into. Gets pulled back and redone while your already into preproduction. I mean. Yeah that’s fucked.

To make matters worse, or at the very least interesting. There was an honest attempt before this at an original Hellraiser story.

Now originally they revisited another idea. That barker had backed, Atkins thought had legs, and now was being pinned by two different writers. The film was Hellraiser: Hellfire. It was written as a large scale epic. It would bring back Kirsty Cotton and her involvement with a cult devoted to Leviathan and the box trying their best to locate the configurations and use them to enclose London in a city-sized Lament configuration. Kirsty would once more be drawn into the world of the cenobites and save the lives of all in London. It’s almost funny that this idea just would not die. They kept coming back to it, At least this time it didn’t involve Julia or recasting the actress still happy to be removed from the series since the end of Hellbound.

It’s also worth noting that early on? Clive Barker attempted reconciling things with the studio. The two had reached out to one another and considered a collaboration on the 5th film. Barker proposed what he always had. A return to the original roots of Hellraiser, bring in deals with devils, sexual flesh taring demons and more of hells mythology. Bring it back to the lore and source while creating something new for the fans.

The studio reminded Barker, that they were not going to stray away from their last designs for the franchise. They still wanted what they gutted the last production to get. A quickly shot, down and dirty commercial horror slasher under 80 minutes. Clive was less than pleased and walked away.

The studio was not going to deal with him any longer. No one knows what happened at this meeting, and what was clearly said. What we do know, however. Is that the studio reacted how they showed they handled things before.

The banished Barker. Not sacked, not dropped. They black listed him. He would no longer have his name attached to the films, never wear a producers title or have anything to say OR do with anything related to Hellraiser. To be fair, the man sold the rights to the franchise and his characters back with the first film. But they respected him and New World kept him on and heavily involved. They all learned having his name attached helped with selling the film, and once he was attached he would help in any way he could. I mean they brought the man in to safe Hell on Earth. But no. They were done with him completely and he was removed indefinitely. Resigned to watch what they did to his creations with the rest of the audience. Who also wasn’t watching anymore.

Whatever he intended to pitch, we would never know and they didn’t care.

In the end, Derrickson and co-writer Paul Harris had planned on and wrote a noir style psychological crime thriller focused on a corrupt detective.

This is worth noting because what we know of the script. Well. I’ll let you figure it out.

Their detective film followed an unlikable drug abusing, hooker loving detective who couldn’t stand to look at his family knowing what he did to them, and no one in his department liked. Fallen from grace and seen as a shadow of himself. He investigates a string of bizarre ritualistic murders, leading him to a strange figure known as The Engineer. Who kidnaps a child and begins sending fingers to the detective. As the investigation deepens Thorne goes more paranoid and suffers a psychotic break leading to haunting visions, hallucinations of faceless beings, chasing down the engineer as his friends, family and partner eventually end up dead. The twist ending has him finding the engineer, shooting and confronting them only to discover. He was the engineer, that. There was no engineer. The kidnapped child was his innocence, taken by the engineer, his sins and crimes, taring it apart and torturing himself. Think Jacob’s Latter Meets Seven.

Dimension films, saw this, and thought. Lets use this. They did not ask Scott to make a Hellraiser film out of this. They never suggested it. They told Scott flat out. He was going to shoehorn Pinhead into this, and it was now going to be a Hellraiser film.

This was confirmed by Doug Bradley. He shared that the studio did in fact tell them a Godfather like deal where, either Pinhead would be forced into your film, or you’ll never work for another studio again.

So, given the script, and production having moved along already. They did as forced. The source of the hallucinations was changed to the puzzle box. The puzzle box was added into the ritual murder, and his psychiatrist no longer explains that all of this was created by his broken mind, but instead transforms into Pinhead explaining this was all a game in the mans hell, as he was the one found dead having solved the box.

The engineer funny enough, was left as just that. Because it was the one key they saw as their opening to fit Hellraiser into the film, as Hellraiser famously had an engineer in both the original book and films. As Vader once said, All too easy.

Pinhead appears for a grand total of 10 minutes in the film, by the way. I mean what else do you expect for nothing? A rubber biscuit?

To no ones surprise, least of all given the historic shit show the production of Bloodlines provided. There was no shortage of studio interference and drama. Including for one of the first times, Doug Bradley. It wasn’t really that well known at the time by many. But few fans new this about him. Doug took very seriously his character and always looked out for the fans. He really is a good man and has fought before when fans aren’t given what they expect when he makes appearances. The man needs to eat, but he also wants to make sure you enjoy yourself otherwise no one would come. He had what we can call a Mark Hamill moment. He heavily questioned the script, knowing it was being forced into something it wasn’t was, one thing on its own. But then discovering you wont even give room in the budget for his character, THE lead cenobite of the franchise you plaster on all the posters. Well it made him question why the fuck have him sit in makeup for hours if you just use him for two scenes and ten minutes of dialog? On top of that he fundamentally was against what they were doing with Pinhead as a character. The man was good friends with Clive and cared about the lore attached to him. Bless him.

The problem he had coincidentally, was the problem fans had as well with the film. Not just his lack of presence given these had been made by Dimension to BE Pinhead films, but his core character changed. Pinhead and the cenobites had a purpose in hell. They answered the call of the configuration. Punishing the ignorant who found and solved the box, and delivering pleasure to those who sought new experiences. The problem was that the cenobites being as pinhead said himself, explorers in the further regions of experience. This meant when you tell them you want to experience the ultimate orgasm. It’s the same as saying you want to know everything. It makes sense to you, you want to be the smartest person in the room with all the answers. When you tell this to beings who have experienced things we can’t even comprehend, over an eternity. Knowing everything will destroy your mind. Frank Cotton was tired of this world and wanted new experiences. He was told the box could deliver pleasures like nothing he’d known. In the book he flat out says he wanted sex. The cenobites gave him every experience, ever fetish from vanilla to the most extreme all at once, and when that was done? They took out their own pleasure on him, torture, flaying and trapping his soul. They took no sides and judged no one. Their job was a simple task.

In this film Pinhead played the moral police. Judging the detective for his failures and forsaking the life he was given. The detective is tortured for his sins. His infidelity, taking bribes, doing drugs. The studio however didn’t give a shit, They just needed a close up of Doug as Pinhead growling out “Welcome, to Hell” cue the music, pull apart the body, end scene.

This also is why Clive Barker openly bashed the film and called the whole thing an absolute abomination.

Upon further digging, it was soon pointed out exactly why this happened. It wasn’t just the writers pushing to add a character and franchise they had no idea about. It was the studio. Again.

Paur Boardman the screenwriter admitted the studio explicitly told him to ignore the rules of the franchise. He was told by the studio, and when asking for notes told by executives to write the film. A hellraiser sequel. For people with no history with the franchise, people who wouldn’t worry about the other 4 films and had expectations. Just put the man with pins in his head from hell in the movie.

The studio was just getting started. But, as a reminder. This was also a direct to video film. Which has a different production as the studio is not likely to burn it all down like they did with the last theatrical outing. Instead they only start a few fires.

But the ones they started. They raise a lot of questions. Shall we begin?

Firstly there was the budget. Direct to video means smaller budgets and quicker turn around. Usually. Bloodline was given $4 million to work with. This film was given half of that. $2 million for the project.

Now, this would seem doable. Honestly it would be. However, think of it like checking your bank account. You got paid, you want to pre-order GTA 6 because you are a filthy animal that would, but you need to make sure you have enough in your account for gas, good and bills. You know you did overtime so you should have more than enough to cover things and treat yourself. You check the balance and it says $600 deposited. Wonderful! GTA! GTA! GTA!

Then you look and see “Available Balance” $400. Well. That’s still not bad, you can cover the basics, cut down groceries and…then you see “Actual Balance”, and it drops down to $215. Because you had other charges waiting to go through. Things you thought had been paid off were just now being charged, and you now have to decide do you go to McDonalds and pay to keep the lights on, or do you order GTA 6 and sit in the dark.

If it helps? There was a time in my fandom life that I wrote a bad check for the first trilogy release of the original Star Wars films on DVD.

I digress…

The budget was $2 million. Until taxes, union pay, corporate pay outs and the studio needing to keep their lights on. So the budget was much smaller. Which again happens with direct to video and well, not their fault really. Your filming in LA, gotta pay for the permits. Cameras, catering, transportation, insurance, rentals etc.

However. For some odd reason. Which the director questioned, in fact two direct departments heavily questioned. The film was given fifty thousand dollars as their special effects budget.

A franchise, known for its heavy special effects and especially its make up effects. Was given a laughable insult of a budget. On purpose.

Again remember this film was given the go ahead as a psychological cop drama. It didn’t need a stellar budget let alone much of anything for special effects and makeup. It just needed suits, cars and stunt guns with a dash of blood.

So forcing a greenlit cop drama into a horror isn’t going to work for your budget. Do you fix it? No. Do you reallocate funds? Oh hell no. Did they offer a change, an alternative, a fix or even a deal? No of course not. So then why? Why force the wrong budget on a film that’s whole genre demands a larger budget specifically for these two departments? They did it on purpose.

Dimension purposely gave them an absolute direct insult of a budget because much like they did with the idea of retrofitting Hellraiser into a cop drama, they were going to further gamble. The effects supervisor on this film was Gary Tunnicliffe. A man who took immense pride in his work. The gamble was, knowing how he was about his work being represented on screen. His reputation and genuine care. If they purposely cut the budget to an absolutely no way it can happen number. Maybe he’d offer to do it for free?

They were right. Unfortunately the man was not going to let a bad production get released. He worked entirely for free. His paycheck went into the needed supplies and his crew. Dimension gambled and got Hollywood level effects and cenobite designs, for free. They weaponized the crews artistic integrity and pride in their work against them and it paid off.

Now, this might explain why the visual effects looked bad. Why the transformation from Psychologist to Pinhead looks cheesy and video game like. Why the elongated black demon tongues looked shitty. But that’s honestly just direct to video results. If you’ve ever rented or played a game of chance on tubi with a direct to streaming movie. You’ll notice this trend. Box art or posters that look better than the film itself and promise something you never see or get, Poor effects and acting, with one big scene or effects shot. That’s direct to video.

As long as Pinhead looked like the cenobite he is. The rest of the film could look like dog shit and that would be standard for home television viewing.

So, working for a studio gutting your budget, forcing crews to work for free, and telling the writer fuck the fans write what we tell you. Taking your first film and forcing you to abandon your project for their own. You would think that might demotivate people. You would be greatly correct.

The studio was aware of this, and they had a plan.

Oh they had a plan.

What would make a makeup supervisor work for free, to ensure his production looked top tier  on screen? What would make a young director push himself to give his all on his first directorial film?

One of the older, and dirtier tricks called, Putting the carrot before the horse.

The studio never directly promised. Or put in writing. Never even put on paper, that this film would see a theatrical screen. But they did hint at it. Canon Films famously did this with some of their projects. Famously they kept hyping up their cast and crew on set of The Apple telling them what a hit it would be, awards all around, big screen blockbuster of a musical. They repeated this for multiple productions and it worked for them. But people knew what they were getting into largely with Canon and especially when the money never rolled in that was promised. Dimension was not Canon. But they were telling Derrickson this would be his big break on the silver screen. Tunnicliffe was working under the impression his work was going to be shown in theaters so he forfeited his pay for that. A sacrifice for his art to hold up the standard he had established. Had he known this was direct to video? No chance in hell he would. He absolutely would be within his rights to tell them to fuck off, demand more money or walk off with his crew. The director would take a blow to his expectations, absolutely. But the studio never promised anything. As Spock famously said when pointed out by a fellow Vulcan that he’d lied. He responded much like Dimension had. “I exaggerated”.

So you might wonder. Once the film was finished, did the studio demand more gore like they historically have? Did the MPAA then edit out ALL that gore?

The answer surprisingly? No. No reshoots, no additional gore, no MPAA interference.

This was direct to video. The studio didn’t care once the film was done. Derrickson is a competent director. He delivered what he was told and promised them.

The studio again. Just did not give a shit. Had the film actually gone to theaters? Absolutely they would have stepped in and heavily stomped their foot down. As it was they were content to let it slide without a fuck given, and stick to just shafting the fans, lying about budgets to get free work and blacklisting Barker from his creation.

As for the MPAA? One thing. One small loophole with the MPAA, and something we brought up that future horror films exploited both knowingly and snuck past the MPAA. Films that go bypass theaters don’t generally require a passing grade from the MPAA. They edit films for general audiences and determine what will and wont be acceptable for theater goers. As far as the home viewer market goes they could care less. Go watch the snow white and the seven dwarfs porn for all they care. What you see in the finished film? Is the directors intended work. There is gore, but it’s used more in the tone it was meant. Not in a horror sense. It wasn’t exploitative and the nudity was kept to a bare minimum.

There’s no way to know how much the film made or didn’t make. What it gained or lost. This is why streaming services like Disney can tell you things like SheHULK and The Acolyte were the most viewed shows and had the highest audience ratings at premiere. Much the same as Paramount did with Star Trek Academy and Amazon’s The Rings of Power. All claimed those films were huge successes and had the largest viewership of any in history, even out foxing Game of Thrones grand shot without any fucking lights fight against the army of the dead.

They can all claim success. But the metric that best gives an idea, was critic and fan reactions.

To no ones surprise this movie was not a hit. Critics and fans hated the jarring shift from traditional cenobite horror to a crime drama featuring Pinhead for all of 5-10 minutes. There was a very small group of fans that thought it was creatively refreshing as the film stepped into new territory.

I can understand that and it’s not in any way, I feel-making excuses. I never defended the prequels, but I did say I could see what George was trying with them and appreciated the story he tried to tell. I still got called an apologist and one of my cousins said I was making excuses for the fact my beloved Star Wars was now shit. I get it, but there is logic here.

The only defense I will give this film. Is in no way at all on the part of the studio, but the director and his film. Even though it wasn’t Hellraiser in any way shape or form. It still can work.

I say that only as someone who has read the comics. Much like Tales from The Crypt and Star Trek itself. There are episodes that are absolutely classic Trek, complete Crypt horror, and then there are odd stories involving dinosaurs or Moriarty, and psychological horror that are fitting of the series. The hellraiser comics are a mix of straight up cenobite mayhem and faustian contracts, as well as simpler stories of interesting characters outside of Pinhead and his devoted followers. There is a surgeon I recall, that would dissect the bodies of the damned, while unraveling their life story. Glimpsing into what made them who they are, It wasn’t Pinhead waxing poetic about flesh and the worlds suffering being a stage he’d orchestrate. But it was interesting and felt like it fit. The idea of a man being forced to recognize his death, his eternal damnation to relieve seeing those he loved and failed being killed and coming after him. It can fit in that context. But that’s subjective, I know. It’s not something the studio deserves credit for, and the writer was told to ignore fully. It’s just a little happy accident for some, Copium for others, and overall an unfortunate shadow that would loom over the rest of the films to follow.

Dimension gambled on this. They tested the waters with hellraiser straight to video. It pulled in some fans and removed more of them. More importantly and again, unfortunately. It taught them their main gamble paid off. They could take an existing script and shove Hellraiser into it, and it ‘could’ work. Nevermind the director had a lot to do with it, and a lot of dirty trickery. Forgetting that. To them it worked and they would continue forward.

What makes it feel all the worse is again the questions it raises. Why would you do this to a property you proudly paid for. Why knowingly sabotage it again, and again, only to toss it aside, and continue abusing it and dragging it out? They obviously did not care about what they had, and now? Now they had relegated the franchise to being nothing more than something they would release occasionally to keep the rights too. Keeping it out of Clive Barkers hands. It almost feels like maybe that was part of it as well? Why let go a franchise you don’t respect and know you are milking a dead cow, when you can dangle the corpse in front of the creator and mock them.

It really cannot be undersold just how upset this all made Barker. He tried, for years to get the property back and to rescue it. Instead he and fans had to endure 5 more of these.

And once more, with feeling. It doesn’t get any better. For anyone. So what could possibly make anyone want to watch another one of these? Well  Something that’s been festering over the past few years once more in Hollywood and people are tired of once more, like they were 26 years ago. Welcome to Nostalgia-baiting.

Hellraiser Hellseeker

Since Dimension discovered an easy way to make Hellraiser films by cutting out the guess work and waiting on a good story. They quickly made this their go to moving forward. It reminds me back in the Art Institute when we had a teacher telling us every written assignment, “Do not copy and paste Wikipedia and pass it off as your work, I’ll know. Everyone knows”, which they were right of course. There were two people specifically that did this repeatedly. They would stand before the class, do their presentation, and their report would sound so clinically by the numbers that you knew this wasn’t something someone wrote so much as, well. A descriptive lifeless text. It put the class to sleep and they got called out each time. Wikipedia is a tool that you can look at, get the information you need, then you write your take on it.

Much the same today with A.I. and people in school using ChatGPT to do their homework. As a tool, it can be useful, I’ll admit. I don’t like using A.I. but there have been a few times I had to use it because it helped me track down where to go and look for items and information I needed. It’s a vast field of slop nowadays google searching. So yes, as a tool to help you in your research? Absolutely helpful. If you have it write out and do the work for you? You’re not learning anything and you didn’t do any of the work but expect the rewards.

Dimension knowing they didn’t have to do the work, and especially commission a new script meant they could just shove Hellraiser into anything and move along at their comfortable shoot it print it speed.

Hellseeker was released a year after Inferno. Inferno as we covered was not a great film. It was hated and dragged through the coals, but it did have its fans who appreciated the new direction of the last film. Dimension as usual wanted to hit the anvil again and move forward, only this time they wanted to try something different. Realizing people didn’t out right burn copies of the film and would tolerate the new direct to video angle. They thought maybe giving a little more carrot to the audience would help. That carrot would be trying to make a near movie. What’s a near movie? It’s when you actually put in effort to make a direct to video movie bigger than it is and hope word of mouth catches on enough, that sales go up, reviews pop up and people begin putting out a demand for more of this please.

So the budget was increased from the previous $2 million up to $3 million. To round this out, they decided the movie would need a hook to drag people in, but not a gimmick. This had to be something the fans they fucked over would see and be willing to give a chance. That would be nostalgia bait.

This thought would also be the films downfall.

It might be hard to imagine, but studio execs realized, while fans tolerated Inferno, and the rest they dismissed gave it a chance only to realize they hated everything it was. Perhaps the fans might react more positively if the film brought back some of its classic mythology. Some of its original concepts. The idea was hatched that they would return to the well they had shit in and they would make a sequel bringing back Ashley Laurence as Kirsty Cotton.

Only good things could come from this. So let’s see what we got in the end shall we?

Story

Shockingly the film actually does open with Kirsty! She’s married now to an inmate of the Oswald State Correctional Facility, nicknamed Oz by the inmates. Yes Dean Winters who most would remember for having seen his dangling dong from the hit HBO series OZ is Kirsty’s husband in this.

The two are having a lovely drive, being the happiest couple you can imagine. Until they crash suddenly and Trevor(Dean) watches his car sink with his wife still trapped inside.  Trevor wakes in the hospital and soon realizes his life may not be his own. He’s suffering memory loss. Yes it’s going to be one of those movies.

As he struggles to understand what happened and who he is. Things are not going well around him. He’s told his wife has died and he needs to take it easy as his body is swimming with morphine. He begins suffering blurred lines of reality and dream. Flashes to the life he can’t fully recall.

If it sounds a little like the last film? Don’t worry that’s normal from here on out.

Through these visions, flashbacks and encounters we learn that Trevor is a not so very nice man. He cheated on his wife with anything crawling. Well their lust for his body is confusing him and he tends not to let history repeat. He is a man mourning his wife after all.

Thankfully in these odd visions we get glimpses of grunge rock Doug Bradley as a shop keeper of solving puzzles, and Pinhead. They learned from the last movie Doug doesn’t like being in makeup if your just going to barely let him fart on set in full makeup. Don’t get too excited though he still only pops up here and there.

Aside learning Trevor was kind of a shit husband and a dick, we learn he did try to be a good man to his wife Kirsty. He watches a video from their anniversary where we see he got her a nice gift. Only a sweet man would do that for his lady. Only a good man listens to his lady and gets her what he know’s she’d like as a gift. He listened to his wife talk about work, spill the tea about coworkers, he also listened to her deep family trauma. The man got her the lament configuration as an anniversary gift.

Yes. The man got Kirsty Cotton the box that destroyed her family, sent her to an institution and made her the well adjusted woman she is today.

We may not always get it right, but we try. The man tried.

Well let us not forget he is still a dick, as Kirsty reminds him of her trauma and how he would have been better off getting her a vacuum or waffle iron vs the box.

He doesn’t care to hear it though and orders her to solve the damn thing already. Which again is the fault of men. I haven’t given a life dating lesson in ages so allow me this moment. If you are sort of a dick, and semi regularly might upset your partner? Or cheat on them, or you give them a puzzle box known to summon demons. Literal demons from an actual factual hell. You should consider your life choices up to that moment and reconsider giving a summoning box to the woman you wronged, and just made the worst impression on by gifting her the box responsible for murdering her father and nearly killing her twice. It will not end well for you.

As more of his past unravels and pinhead teases the man, we rush along to our films conclusion. Believe me it’s not me, its this film it is rushing like mad to get over itself. As the last film had a twist ending, this one needs one as well. And so the twist is revealed to us once Trevor is met once more by Pinhead in the morgue. We learn that yes, in fact Kirsty did open the puzzle box as he asked her too. Pinhead actually baited her. He had been searching for Kirsty and used her husband to give her the box and bring her to him. Once in his presence Kirsty falls back on familiar tricks. Offering him another deal in exchange for her life. 5 souls to replace hers. For some reason Pinhead accepts this exchange and the film thus reveals to us what it already laid out. Trevor was a murderous plotting man who stuck his dick in everything, his wife knew about the and would visit each of the women he banged and his conspirator friends. Before finally giving him to Pinhead as the 5th and final soul owed.  The film ends with a smirky Kirsty carrying the puzzle box. Once more victorious and now back to never trusting a man to listen again.

So that was Hellseeker. A blink and you miss it film with an underwhelming amount going on in it. Retreading over familiar territory as we once more delve into reality and visions intersecting and out main protagonist questioning everything around them. Which, when you shovel Hellraiser into the same type of scripts over and over, well yeah. It’ going to happen.

Now we get to ask ourselves, so they made a sequel and brought Kirsty back, was it a success? God no. So, what the hell happened?

Well funny enough, a lot, a dash of the same, a dash of the studio being greedy and just plain ol’ stupidity.

Firstly there was the story. This, actually was going to be a much better film than intended. And there is a very specific see if you can catch it reason why, we didn’t get that.

For this, we need to travel all the way back to when Dimension was trying to pen the idea for Hellraiser Inferno. Before they kicked out and blacklisted Clive Barker.

They had a script which was already turned in and given for their consideration to inject Hellraiser into. Like someone happily submitted this as a potential for the series. The script was written by Michael Lent. He pitched a film called, well. Hellseeker.

The story was a cyberspace hacking plot. There’s a mysterious fire at an isolated radio station, which turns out to be an underground hacking lab. A super IQ game designer(Blink) is using the facility to hack into a cyberspace portal. The story would follow a man given the name of Rix. Rix isn’t their real name though, see they were the survivor of the explosion that set fire to the station and much like Hellseeker, he would spend the movie as an amnesiac trying to uncover who he is, what happened and why. Through his journey of remembrance he would encounter more and more darker, elaborate illusions and body horror. Eventually Rix and Blink find one another and it is revealed to Rix that the cyberspace portal his group of hackers had been hacking into, was a portal to hell. Now out of his mind and enjoying it, Blink wants to release the portal onto the world, bringing hell to one and all.

They sent the script to Clive and he immediately gave his thumbs up, declaring this was the one. This would fit Hellraiser, it had body horror and tones that matched the franchise. It would easily work and he enjoyed the tech idea. The film had people tied to work on it, and produce it. So why didn’t they?

Firstly, this was right after Bloodline when Dimension was looking to shelve Hellraiser to direct-to-video. It was just before the purge of the studio. Where everyone who greenlit Bloodline was axed from the company. So to it the ones who were signed on to executive produced Hellseeker were also fired. And soon after that Clive Barker was blacklisted from the studio. Instead of this script they went with Scott Derrickson and his cop drama.

Then came time for the sequel to follow Inferno. The studio dug out this script from their literal vault. Where it had been shelved. Waiting. The studio liked the script and decided this was the one. It just needed some. Tinkering.

That tinkering was first and foremost the removal of every single element of the script that had Clive Barkers approval. No, I’m not joking. They stripped any and every element from the script the man had said he liked and met with his approval. This also included additions Lint wrote in that tired Hellraiser lore to the script. The simple fact was, as they saw it. They didn’t want a creator like Barker’s notes, artsy fartsy operatic themes or any of his bullshit to resurrect the brand. They wanted their profitable direct-to-video slashers.

They also cut out the hacking elements and cyber cenobites. The explosion at the radio station was changed to a car crash and the amnesiac angle became the focus. They handed the concept to new writers and told them fuck the narrative structure. They wrote an authorized copycat of Inferno. Hell loop, amnesia and all.

As I said, if this film seemed at all familiar. There’s a reason.

On top of that they ended up recycling a majority of the same sets and locations too. They were min maxing the production. Which at the time, did not have the $3 million dollar budget. That came from the director.

Having gone over the script, the director pointed out that the wife in the script was largely absent. She had no name and existed in the script only to vanish at the beginning and then she’s gone.  The director thought they should do something more with that. Make her the anchor to discover who he is. So he pitched to the studio the idea, hey. Lets make her Kirsty Cotton.

The studio loved the idea. Shock I know. How could the studio love the idea of bringing a character, a legacy character that fans adored back to the franchise they did not give a fuck about and did all they could to remove the creator from? It was simple, and hellishly dark. If they brought her back, they could put her name and face on the cover, beside Pinhead. This would trick fans into renting their copycat trash. Brilliant! Let’s do it! So the studio needed extra money assuming Heather wouldn’t return to the franchise for the film. So the budget got a huge bump to bring her back.

Well you would imagine with a larger budget  this might get a lot more love. That would make sense and usually might be the case. But the studio is not known for its generosity so far. The fact they allow it to live in the dark is gift enough for them. From them. While yes, on paper the film had a larger budget, it would of course, as we log into our account to check the balance-greatly change from what was there versus actually there. Once they paid off locations, key cast(excluding Heather) and production was ready. They were much closer to the previous films budget.

They did eventually pay for the return of Kirsty. Thanks to Doug Bradly. When he heard they would try to bring her on board but were unsure if she’d even want to do it. He told them she was a good friend of his, so he called her up told her about the film and she was 100% onboard ready to sign.

The idea of a grown up Kirsty squaring off against Pinhead was a good one to her, she and Bradley already began talking over scenes they could try and dabble into.

So the press was released. Heather would return and fans rejoiced.

The problem though. Was the script. They script had not been changed. The wife only shows herself in the beginning before and during the crash. Obviously this means rewrites.

The studio already approved production, and they denied rewrites. Again the name of the game is get it done, get it done fast. They paid Heather her key cast paycheck. So she got that. But she had literally nothing to do in the film. All the ideas and scenes between her and Pinhead would simply never be.

The budget played into a lot of things. Because Inferno cost so much with locations and administrative cost. They made cuts all around. As I mentioned they reused a lot of locations from Inferno. They also used sets from another horror film of theirs Children of the Corn Revelation. After all this? The art department had nothing. Hence why so much got reused from the last film and other productions. Funny enough over at Lionsgate, their SAW director was doing similar, reusing body parts and props between films, and eventually on his passion project Repo the Genetic Opera.

However what he did was for a dream and passion. This was done to save a buck and once again pushing, forcing departments to deliver with no benefits.

The director was also put on an unintentional leash. The production took place in Vancouver though you’d honestly never know given the places they filmed. Not because the weather mind you. The absence of Canadas beauty was because. They didn’t go there to film it. They went to Canada abusing their tax loopholes. Similar to why people here in Washington shop down in Oregon. Taxes. Its silly but, they do it.

It’s funny and worth mentioning that while filming did save them money, an incident with a background extra in the office building cost the studio $10,000. In Canada they rather, strict and different laws when it comes to filming. One such law, as they discovered. Concerned interactions with Background extras, and Principal cast. A director can give direction and notes to Principal cast as they are meant to speak, act and hit their marks. But a background non speaking extra is just meant to be in the background. The moment the director talked to him? Their base pay skyrocketed and Dimension had to now pay them a penalty for breaking that law and that background extra now becomes a principal actor. You can see the scene in the film. Trevor is having a conversation with his boss at the water cooler, a nameless man wonders in and disrupts the conversation. That was the extra. The director didn’t like how he was acting and how the scene came off. Instead of waiting for the assistant director to talk with the extra. He talked with him directly. So keep that in mind, if you want a great paycheck as an extra. Mildly upset the director.

That is one thing I can credit the film with. There was no drama with their choice in director. He never once gave them an issue. Rick Bota was a cinematographer. A good one. This was his first acting job, much like Derrickson. He wasn’t hired because he could be pushed around and lied too about theatrical hopes and dreams. He knew the reality of his situation. No, he was hired because he was compliant and a studio yes man. So he offered no resistance. The studio says film something, he films it. For once they had a director who wouldn’t fight them over creative vision and attempting to change the tone.

Funny enough the director admits he knew nothing about Hellraiser, Pinhead or Barker. He didn’t understand how Pinhead works and that’s what the studio loved. It meant they could continue to have and shape him into their slasher. Which Doug Bradley hated, and leads into those that suffered for this film. Some literally.

Doug Bradly wasn’t showing up for a paycheck. Which albeit was pretty good pay, I mean it is a job at the end of the day, but he still liked the character and wanted to play them as best he could while keeping their integrity. However he began noticing very quickly he was the only one who cared about the character. He was now as Pinhead said of Rory Cotton, in his own hell, and quite unreachable.

He was forced to watch The Hell priest Pinhead, the pope of hell and celebrity of cenobites be turned into a generic slasher villain who would pop up to taunt, vanish then show up at the end like Columbo to reveal the twist. He hated it but couldn’t do much about it. Especially when a director was compliant with the needs of the studio over anyone else.

It’s sad honestly. People, fans began to notice from Inferno and this film that his tone. His voice had softened. This wasn’t him being disheartened. It was the studio not giving a shit. The booming deep bass and echo of his voice were removed. They wouldn’t pay for that kind of small thing, let alone soundtracks. The films were stripped down to the barest of minimums and that affected the main villain who they sold the sequels on by plastering his face on every fucking poster.

Heather as you can imagine was upset. She only came on to the project as a personal favor of Doug’s. She loved the fans and was proud of the work she’d done and her cameo in the 3rd. Had they gotten Julia back into the series like they deeply wanted, Heather would have returned without question as Kirsty. This film was meant and sold to her as Kirsty Cottons home coming. Bringing a true fan favorite back. Only to discover within 2-3 days she was done filming and sent packing. Top that off with a cast that knows and cares next to nothing for your legacy character and franchise. She admitted later that she expected something on set, smiles and a feeling of the franchise going back to its roots. But there was nothing. The studio made it clear they had no intention of honoring or acknowledging the few fans left. They just wanted to bait them and get their money. It’s fucked up man.

As for literal suffering of actors? That goes to our main character and overall dick, Trevor. Dean Winters was by far the most unhappy with the entire experience. Whenever a television actor comes across a film part, especially a lead. It’s a big deal and their chance to break out into something big, possibly bigger. The man was making his own way, as I said I knew him mostly from watching OZ on HBO, but like most that cast as well you also saw them over on Law and Order. The guy is a good actor, I really dig his work and face. Much like Bradley he too hated the script. What he thought would be a meaty protagonist role to show off his acting ability, turned out to be a series of repetitive shots where his directions were; Look confused, hallucinate, look confused, hallucinate. Now scream. To top it off he came down with the flu in Vancouver. No one has time for sickness let alone healing. The show must go on and he absolutely did. He got so sick he would need breaks to breathe, stop shivering, and he was constantly vomiting between cuts. The man was pretty close to actual hallucinations between his insane high fever and insane shooting demands from the schedule.

Now you would think, as most productions would. That having a core actor come down with that severe of a flu, that they would hear something from the studio. Shoot around them and continue production while giving what time could be allowed for them to recover. Hell Disney did that when Harrison Ford crash landed his plane and when he broke his foot. The key difference isn’t that this was straight to video. Though it did play a large part. It was mostly in part to the fact the studio not only didn’t care. But the fact they weren’t even there. The moment cameras rolled and the lights went on once everyone was paid? They were gone. Everything would be by the numbers with their compliant crews. Hellseeker wasn’t a film they cared about. It was an insurance policy to keep the franchise right where it was. And keep the sequels pumping.

With everyone involved thankful the filming had ended. The movie was ready for its finishing touches.

The editing room was the next chamber of hell.

When you film on the cheap, and you use generic locations. No stand out finale or even moderately interesting set. Your film is going to reflect that. Surprising I know. But it did happen. After all was shot and sent off. They realized very quickly. This movie was garbage. To give you an easy test. Think back to two Inferno. What scene would pop into your head. I mentioned for me I didn’t remember much of anything from the film. I remembered the crime scene though. It was bloody, interesting and had a look to it. It might just be a generic room but the set department worked on it, the art department even though sacked and replaced. They did something with it.

A better example, Jaws. Everyone remembers the ORCA, the scene where Quint gives his Minneapolis speech. It looked lived in, between disrepair and breaking down. It had character. It was a character. Hellraiser 3, the boiler room. Everyone remembers the slaughter in the place. The barbed wire plastic dolls and set pieces within it.

This film had nothing. A story, the script. Can only carry your film so far. The actors do their part. But if you shoot generic. It doesn’t matter. It looks flat, uninteresting and blended together. Add to that it all was filmed and looked cheap well. Welcome to direct-to-video.

Having this nightmare now to deal with the editors were in a state of panic. They had to deliver the product to the studio. They were not shy from cutting off heads and entire departments. So they did what they felt made sense.  They turned the film into another non-linear hellscape. They aggressively  chopped the film apart and deliberately fucked with the films timeline, its continuity to trick audiences into thinking they were watching a much deeper psychological thriller versus a Hellraiser film. These guys were just trying to hide the lack of plot, the repetitive scenes and make it all make sense and not one boring waste of film.

Which for some of us, it still was, but we digress.

Among that which was removed from the film. Other scenes were cut out as well. Including one that fans would have actually enjoyed. In the film Kirsty is forced by her dickhead man to solve the puzzlebox. She meets Pinhead and quickly tells her this was all part of his plan to get her and now that he had her he would finally kill her. As we went over she instead offers him 5 souls and he quickly agrees to this.

Originally, and as Alfred Packer famously said, That’s not the way it happened.

In the original scene as it was. Pinhead and Kirsty have a much longer drawn out conversation. Pinhead takes great pleasure in having caught Kirsty and having her once more in hell with him.

Pinhead gets straight up diabolical in this meetup and Kirsty fires back as well. Both actors said this was their own moment they felt made it all worth it because it acknowledge everything. It showed her growth from scared girl to a strong adversary. She could and did stand against Pinhead. Just like their first meeting in part 1, Pinhead has a crew with him. They made and shot new cenobites including the return of the chatterer. Then she strikes the deal with him, he considers it and taunts again killing her. But she entices him with the deal and he enjoys the idea of her bringing him the very man who had her solve the box, and every soul he corrupted and destroyed her life through. It played a lot better versus him simply deciding to let the person he planned all of this for from the beginning go simply because she offered another deal with no question like they did in the original.

Two reasons the editors and studio had for its removal, and one you likely already have guessed.

First was the pacing. They worried that, if you can imagine. Dialogue would scare awayviewers and be seen as boring. They wanted hacky slashy chain shot kill kill. Not pin man talky. So it was cut out for ‘pacing’ and saving their target audience from hearing people speak.

The…other reason. Clive Barker and the fans. Yes. Wrap your head around this. You coax the fans, and Barkers fans to see your film by bringing back an established character and hero from the franchise. You then cut her one and only large dialogue and confrontation with Pinhead out. Why? Because it would require all the viewers to be aware of Clive Barkers original, and its sequel. The film would require the fans, and the direct-to-video audience. To have seen the other Hellraiser films and know who Kirsty Cotton is. How she knew Pinhead.

Again, why the holy fuck bring back Kirsty, if you believe no one will know who the hell she is?

Naturally deleting the scene stripped out any heart and emotional weight in Kirsty’s decision. It was again all about the twist. He was a dick, he cheated on her, was a bad man who made her open the box she has SOME history with given her terrified reaction, and she decides because you were a dick, she’s going to send you to hell in her place. And the demon is going to just go along with that because she seems like a pretty okay person.

Get fucked.

It’s just so depressing to know this was their logic, when in reality it all goes directly back to their absolute distain for Barker and his work. They actively did all they could to make Hellraiser NOT look or feel like Hellraiser, they stripped out the lore entirely and reduced the box simply into an item that brings Pinhead so he can kill everyone. It is as it way. They made it as generic as humanly possible in every fathomable way they could.

And again why. Why, why, why!

As shitty as The Exorcist films all were after Legion(part 3) at least those had continuity and story. Sure it was shit. But it didn’t face fuck the fans by turning Pazuzu into Jason.

And Exorcist Believer was is and forever will be the worst piece of burn your intestines as it stretches and bleeds your asshole shit to ever be forced out. But goddamn at least it acknowledged the fans while it face fucked them.

One final tidbit too add on the pile of jesus why did they hate the man.  The director snuck a cut of the film out to let Barker see. Which yes he loathed and was bored to tears with. He told the director the film was missing the horror. It was missing visceral horror. It needed something other than nothing. He was right. The director actually took Clives advice. He really went back and filmed more horror for the horror film. He made bloodier scenes, knowing the MPAA wouldn’t stop them upon release. The fact alone the director felt the need to take the film in secret to show he who shall not be named to try and save it. That says a hell of a lot.

But all of it was tossed. The studio editors disregarded it. Because the studio mandate of this being a non-linear sanitized pscyho-thriller edit was more important than something that would directly please the fans and the horror fans you were attempting, supposedly one would think to make this for.

Even though you don’t need to ask it, and no one would blame you for not caring. No. No audiences did not care for this.

Fans, the few fans of the original who saw this because they enjoyed Inferno, and the fans who gave it a chance because of Kirsty returning? They all hated it, with a visceral passion.

Fans hated they were lied too about Kirsty returning.

They hated that you took the one established good, pure character who showed hope could win against the evil of the box, and turned them into a murderer willing to sacrifice other lives to save her own. No one liked that or bought it.

And believe me, I’ve had conversations with sane and far removed from sanity women who all have the same core principal. If you cheat on them? Yeah they’ll hate the bitch you fucked. But they aren’t gonna kill them, or beat them. It wasn’t their fault you were a cheating dickbag who’s about to experience pain at their hands.

Add to this the one jarring you would never guess it shared consensus. That fans found it boring, unscary, repetitive, and felt like they were just rewatching the first one, only more boring and less interesting to watch.

When even your new found audience, and the mindless slop swallowing mindless drones who rent anything for the sake of something to watch. All call your film boring. You know, or should know. You fucked up.

 Doug Bradley sited this film as the start of his spiral into misery. He had always protected Pinhead and felt like Robert Englund, when you are that character and no one else could fill your shoes. You have some say in how they are portrayed and treated. You want to deliver something you can be proud of. He was not. At all, and this film signaled much like for the main character in the film, that this was now his hell, his burden. No one would listen, and he was just a name behind the face on the poster.

Clive Barker may have been blacklisted but the man never once stayed silent on his disavowment of the franchise under Dimension. He called them out publicly multiple times for their studio strategy to pump out soulless gutted sequels, squeezing out any and all creativity from the franchise all for the sake of retaining the title and characters, Spending less to make a few bucks on retail sale.

Things got so bad from this production, and so many voices were beginning to join Doug and Clive, and Heather. That the studio had to finally step in. Their response?

The paranoia among the studio execs over the cheap scripts the actors and crew were now actively calling them out on for having shoe horned their franchise into, and their firing of departments. All of their sins being laid out. Their response was swift and simple. Dimension began forcing actors and crew to sign incredibly restrictive NDAs. Non Disclosure agreements. All of them Bradly included would face a $1 million dollar and up lawsuit if they broke NDA. Bradley years later talked about it. That he was faxed the most insane gagging orders that legally prohibited him from talking out about the films, the scripts, the production. Any of it.

Dimension was silencing everyone, and nothing was stopping them. The studio that wanted their house of horror, had created a literal actual bleeding house that became the house horror comes to die.

And they weren’t done. They were upping their game. This time? They were going to film two sequels. Back to back. It only gets worse from here.  They were leaving the land of Maple Syrup and hockey, and going to the latest cheapest home of horror. Welcome to Romania.

Hellraiser Deader

The funniest thing about this film. Was fans and casual viewers universally agreed this is the worst in the franchise.

At the time. Worst in the franchise at the time.

This is however what we can dub, the signaling of the end of times. For the franchise.

When we left off, the studio fought back against fans and press, they fought against cast and crew openly airing out their grievances with the films, and studios blunt laziness on top of putting every penny in a vice.

Lines were drawn clearly in the sand and people were put in their place. Especially the titular cenobite. That situation was going to grow to a boiling point which eventually would explode. This isn’t figuratively the end of the franchise. This was the breaking point. Now Dimension was intent to stay the course with their shoe horning Pinhead into pre-existing properties. It was cutting time and cost so why change that? They burned their bridges with returning stars and made it very clearly known they would cut cost without hesitation across all departments if it meant getting a finished product out on time and they retained the license. As a reminder they needed to put out a film under a certain timeline in order to hold the franchise rights, otherwise they revert back to Clive Barker. For free.

The direct to video market would allow this seemingly indefinitely, so long as video stores would purchase anything with Hellraiser, and bored gullible gorehounds would chance a rental or worse a purchase.

The difference this time, was they planned to give themselves a break, while upping their inventory.  They would end up pushing to film two Hellraiser films. At the same time.

Two productions sharing the same locations, different cast, same crew.

And they would be filming in Romania.

To be clear, a lot of horror films began shooting in Romania. It was a lot cheaper by far compared to previous locations; Los Angeles and Canada. Dimension would absolutely jump on that plane for this. But there were, other reasons too. Which we will get into as it only added kerosene to a pile of fuel bathed dynamite.

So let’s get into the nightmare and get what they called a story for this out of the way.

The movie follows an investigative journalist for a London tabloid, Amy Klein. We see she will go to any lengths for a story as the movie opens with her in a half way house. Taking photos of junkies, with a large DSLR camera she keeps hidden under her arm in a thin jacket, and a tape recorder that….to be honest would catch her heartbeat and muffles meth heads versus anything worth writing down. I mean Hunter S. Thompson would get high as a fucking kite and arm himself with a handheld recorder. Slurring his way across one location to the next. But you could make sense of it. He brandished the thing like a magic want. These lady has hers shoved up against her. Well it’s close to her so do with that as you may. Any-who.

She’s shown a ‘disturbing’ tape of a cult in Bucharest, the group calls themselves Deaders. Because they die. So that they can come back. And do it all over again. If you’ve seen the original or remake of Flatliners. It’s the same thing, just taken to the extreme. In Flatliners the medical students would induce medically a way of stopping their heart, then bringing themselves back from the brink. These edgy bitches are straight up stabbing and shooting themselves to come back, as was the style at the time.

So Amy is intrigued and flies out to Romania. She wants to investigate a girl from the video who apparently turned up dead for real, real this time and not for play, play. While investigating the dead ladies humble Romanian apartment she happens to find our familiar Lament puzzle box.

The puzzle box need only be touched now to induce freaky whirly swirling visions and apparently a sooooooooouuulll traaaaaaiiin carrying people humping and enjoying life. Now Amy has a clear mission, she wants to investigate the leader of this cult. But the film wants to stretch things out by bringing back the oldy but goldy fan favorite from the previous films. I’m talkin Loops. Dream loops people. They are back! The very gimmick fans were tired of from the last film is right back in our faces because when your story wasn’t meant to stretch that wide, you gotta give it something.

Speaking of thin story. Through these dream weaving loops of fun, she gets a visit from Pinhead who’s only there to let her know he exist, waves, and tells her the same thing the goth girl tells you when you find the Necronomicon at Barnes and Noble, your messing with powers you don’t understand. His words carry the same importance and who gives a fuck as the goth girls words to you. More importantly we learn that the cult leader of the Deaders, is none other than a direct descendant of Philip LeMarchand. Yeah. They brought back the bloodline, from Bloodline. When you burn bridges with legacy stars, you go back and scrape the bottom of the well for other ideas you can rehash. Only the somehow managed to make it worse. They also made the movie, the plot, the whole experience hard to follow as it quickly puts you to sleep. But I will give the best I can for you. The cult leader, the descendant of the toy makers bloodline, from Bloodline. Since he believes he has mastered the art of dying and respawning, he found an exploit that makes him impossible to kill. So he plans to hack hells backdoor. His ancestors would have done this to close the gate and end the cenobites as well as hells career of feasting on souls. This boy wants to hack Hells backdoor, so he can rule Hell. The movie tells you this in an absolutely boring way with no emotion, no cause and no explanation. He just wants to do it, and he’s confident he can rule the school of Hell.

He also has his cult kill Amy and bring her back. But the way the movie is made you’d think it was another vision, dream loop, hallucination. Because it just sort of semi happens, then we see that it did happen, and never comes back up again.

Amy is important to the future ruler of hells backdoor, because he believes she is a broken emo chick which is what the puzzle box needs in order to open. No I’m not fucking kidding. You need to be so edgy your aura could cut grass, and the box will open for you.

So Amy opens the box, Pinhead shows up, no one gives a single fuck and Pinhead exchanges words with Lamarchands blood child. Which would hold weight and relevance if they actually fucking meant something.It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. Pinhead tares the man apart. He looks over the losers club of Romanian goth cucks and bitches, cuts them down. Then to no ones surprise turns to Amy and tells her its now her turn to die. Well she decides to alt F4 and kills herself. Smiling and blissful that she escaped hells wrath. But no one can escape hell. The twist of the movie is the same as the last two fucking films. She is recorded, the video is given to her editor, who found the first video, and he shows it to a new reporter and Amy is shown killing herself, coming back to life. She’s now a deader and apparently forever tormented and blah blah blah fucking end it please god end it.

As a blessing, and a reminder before we cover it after this? The Hellraiser film shooting at the exact same time has no fucking ties to this piece of shit, it is in its own hell, and quiet different. This was the result of getting what you fucking deserve for cutting corners.

As we said before. This was another script that already existed and they forced Hellraisers flaccid virus pocked cock into. Before that though. This film was already being prepared to begin shooting. They had scouted locations, put out casting calls. It was going forward. Dimension was not known for its control over anxiety so much as it was it’s absolutely baffling process and cocaine fueled anxiety. At the time Japanese horror was beginning to find its popularity across the pond to America. In 1998 we had Ringu and by 2001 we had the blockbuster American remake The Ring, This lead to and included of course films like Ju-On and Pulse.

Specifically Pulse. Dimension felt Japanese horror films was a threat to their market. Audiences were seeking out new and original horror, and if any of you have watched Japanese or Korean horror. It was becoming a genuine force to be reckoned with. Once a studio bought the rights to remake Ringu. And that took off like a rocket, other studios jumped the train. Dimension hit the rails at full speed because they loved money more than most and they were going to get on the ground floor with the Americanization of Japanese horror. By making Pulse.

So Dimension stopped Deader in its tracks, forced the director to make Pulse and then. Because this is just par the fucking course. Once he finished Pulse, they told him okay, you can make Deader now. However you need to make it into a Hellraiser film, otherwise we’re closing production and its not getting made.

I had an ex. Who had a way of asking things. Instead of engaging in, Intimacy. She would choose to tell you, at Breakfast, in the car driving, or on the toilet, “I better get dick tonight or I’m gonna be a bitch the whole fucking night” or the calmer “If I don’t get any dick tonight we’re breaking up”. Now. You would think. You could just, as a couple, start with kissing, and caressing. Leading to the highway of pound town. Or you could flat out demand it and offer ultimatums. Dimension agreed. So what was deader before Hellraiser?

An interesting story. Oddly enough.

Originally, Deader was a far different almost darker film. While still sharing the same bed as the other two films before it. In Deader, Amy wasn’t the no nonsense tough investigative reporter. She was an emotionally numb broken woman She covered stories and locations no other reporter would cover because they were scared. She sought out intense, depraved life threatening stories, just to see if it might make her feel something, remind her she could still have an actual emotion. In this story she didn’t have a boss assign her the story. Instead she came across it over the early 2000’s version of the darkest deepest corners of the scary internet. This was a time that sites existed entirely dedicated to showing corpses and videos of dead bodies and people being run over by tanks, cut apart with machetes, and animals set on fire in cages. Yes I saw those sites and honestly it’s the closest you get to an actual puzzle box. You spend enough time on the web, eventually you stumble onto the darker stuff. She discovers the “deaders”, this story is a lot closer to Flatliners, but on a more, psychological level.  Winters, the cult leader, not Lamarchand. Is the group leader who has discovered a psychological loophole that, if you willingly die…BUT maintain complete mental clarity, psychological focus at the exact moment you cross the threshold over to the abyss of death. You can come back and cheat death.

For those unfamiliar, in Flatliners when the med students would induce death and return. They would each experience the afterlife. It became like a drug for them making them want to go under and stay dead for longer. Eventually they began having visions of their past, and hallucinations in the living world.  Haunted by their sins forcing them to atone for these things. This story is a bit similar, but thankfully deeper and its own thing. But bordering just on that nut hair of being recognizable. A deader crossing the line entering the  realm of the dead, didn’t enter heaven or hell. Instead it was treated like being in an altered state of reality. A more perceptual reality that allowed them to have out of body like experiences. Traveling the world like a ghost before returning to their physical bodies.

Much like the hellraiser revised script, Winter becomes aware of Amy and wants to use her. For the exact same purpose. Only this time it actually makes sense. As a deader, a perfect deader would have a mind, soul void of emotion, completely broken and without boundaries, To him she’s the perfect Deader and someone he feels he can control. Deaders when in their crossing over state as ghost. Possess abilities to bend reality, and essentially fuck with the reality of others and their will. So the idea of a broken soul not needing guidance to empty itself and welcome the deader state. She could be an ultimate tool for Winter. So he’d track her down, on the Sooooooooooouuuuulll Traaaaaaaiin. Where he kills her and brings her back as a deader.

Unfortunately for Winter. She is everything he hoped. Absolutely powerful. But her own woman and not about to be controlled by someone. In the films climax the two would have a battle of willpower and the mind. Amy would crush Winter. With Winter dead, the cult checks out, Amy returns to London and oddly. Now being completely mentally torn between the realm of the dead and living, she’s found true happiness and inner peace. She returns home, the ultimate deader, traversing our world and the afterlife.

It’s an interesting story and had I come across it in Blockbuster, I’d dig it, it’s sort of bordering on that weird bit of coolness that you got from films like The Cube or Dark City.

But no, fuck that. Shove Pinheads cock up this scripts ass, or its getting shit canned for good. That’s the deal.

So he was. The film got rewrote into a Hellraiser film. In a big damn hurry and now knowing the original story? They really were getting even lazier with the damn rewrites.

The writer was forced to strip the story of its deep psychological themes of childhood trauma, emotional numbness and abuse. So they could insert the cenobites at the end, and the puzzle box. It’s just sad knowing the intended story and both just how little of Hellraiser they actually fit into it, while losing out so much depth of story that could have made it that much more interesting. Both on its own and as a Hellraiser film.

Well it doesn’t take much to imagine just what the hell happened here. But we do need to remember. This was one of two Hellraiser films going on at the same time, using the same locations. And crews.

Which is were just a part of their problems began.

Dimension would save hundreds of dollars filming in Romania given the value of the American dollar. But they also gained benefits made just for them. Like the fact unions were not a normal thing. That you could exploit your actors and crew by working them unholy extended hours without needing to stop because of regulations. So 14 hour and 16 hour work days were a normal occurrence. They also didn’t have, how can we put it. Safety concerns.

Kary Wuhrer who played Amy, spent a majority of her time in wet, damp clothing. Filming in often below freezing temps. They’d rush her immediately from the scene to a very well heated trailer so she wouldn’t die while filming. Like the last cast she suffered exhaustion and fighting off constant illnesses from the extreme cold and overly long hours.

And also the environment.

No safety regulations wasn’t just confined to working in freezing cold, boiling hot  weather or long days. It also means actively filming in placed covered in black mold, rotted and decaying sets, All the sets were from war torn locations and if you sat on a ledge somewhere, you could end up falling to your death from crumbled buildings finally giving way, or cutting yourself on rusted moldy iron. It wasn’t ideal and no one was going to be told stay away from there or close down production. So Dimension was happy.

I mean they were on cloud 9 with their plans. Sure people were getting sick, their lead actress was freezing her tits off and near exhaustion along side the crew working overhauled hours. But. Shooting in Romania? Not just for Deader but the immediate follow up Hellworld being filmed directly beside it? Oh they were incredibly happy.

The key to their happiness, was translated from the word, Loophole.

Loophole which also through the corporate dictionary defines the word, Technically.

Dimension filming both films in Romania stretched out their budget nearly twice its original budget for both films thanks to the loophole of escaping a large number of cost. Technically, both films shared the same budget, on paper? They had separate budgets. $2 million for Deader, $3 million for Hellworld. 5 million dollars to make two films, stretched nearly double that in Romania.

Thanks to the loophole of escaping unions, and traditional studio business, they could hire background extras and crew on the cheap. Technically…they signed the entire crew to a fixed production. Meaning they got paid the exact same across both films, and would work both productions from October through December.

Since local labor laws were incredibly lax and nearly none existent, they legally could blend the workload across both productions. This extended as well to renting once. Once. All equipment, sets, and extras.

They used this for shipping of equipment and make up effects from the U.S. Usually you have to pay her parcel per production. This way they only paid the once.

Doug Bradly also was used in there loopholes of fun. Thankfully though he did record dialog. Bradly was not paid per word. He was actually paid for time spent in makeup. Which as most can easily imagine took hours to do. Even though they were far ahead with Romanian cash flow, they weren’t going to suddenly be liberal with their spending.

So we had the makeup chair loophole, Doug would be flown down, slapped into the makeup chair. Collect his pay, film his scene for Deader. He would be stopped before returning to his trailer and the set, not all of them but enough to make it funny they actually did it. He’d stay on set. They would swap backgrounds. Bring in the same extras, redress and relight. Begin filming for Hellworld. THEN swap to a new location or green screen. Back to filming Deader. He’d record dialog, in makeup. Be held in place, bring in the next cast and wash rinse repeat.

They did this the entire shoot and paid him for one sitting across multiple scenes for two films. Now Doug was, not happy. He contacted his agent about this immediately because there was no way they would get two films out of him for not even half the price of one.

This began widening the divide between him and the studio given they already slapped him with the gag order and NDA with threats of legal repercussions if he ever spoke out. The two were in a battle during both productions but. Bradley did as instructed. It’s one of those now, it would be funny if it weren’t so sad. But how he explained he and other actors had to talk about the film during interviews or when asked? Is exactly how everyone talked during Disney’s Star Wars sequel trilogy, every marvel film and to be fair anything they shit out now. When the movie steers viciously away from lore and shits on the characters? They would say “The film is going in bold directions” and “It’s like nothing before it. It’s truly amazing”

It wasn’t just extended across both productions mind you. Dimension was just now discovering the playground that is Romania. Full Moon pictures made their bread and butter for years here. But Dimension was the loud tourist taking every advantage. They began multiple productions of other films, not just sharing again the same crews across different productions but also swapping main talent actors. When one would finish with Deader, they’d move to another Dimension film, or be used as an extra for Hellworld. They were going Caligula levels of over indulgence and saw no end to it.

Further more, the biggest hole they looped through, was how all of this gave them a vacation window on their intellectual property clause for Hellraiser. As we said they had to have a hellraiser film in active production to keep the rights. The filming for both these Hellraiser films in the same production window was 9 weeks. The moment the director says action and camera roll? They are fulfilling their needs to hold onto the franchise. If they manage another film say within 2-3 years, that extends the grace period they have before another Hellraiser would be needed in development to retain the rights. Having two, full length films in production(technically) at the same time(absolutely the same time) that gave them a grace period of 9 years they could go without pushing another Hellraiser out their assholes. This ultra cheap production secured them 9 years of not having to worry about Doug Bradley, Forcing another script to be re-written and lying to more directors. They were eating real good.

Speaking of directors, Rock Bota much like Doug Bradly was very far removed from happy. It might be a surprise to hear, but filming two films at the same time can be stressful. Even more so when the second film had a unique issue he had to deal with. I can’t save this for the next film, so I’ll just keep it blissfully short here for now. The reason Hellworld is so different than Deader? And Hellseeker, and Inferno, and every other story they violated shoving Hellraiser into?

Is because Hellworld had no script. The film shot with no script and pages were being delivered to him for Hellworld while filming Deader. The man would coordinate shots for Deader, look over the script, shoot and give direction for the next scene to be setup for shooting. While shifting over to the next production and having no fucking clue what he would be filming until they handed him the pages fresh from the printer.

Adding to this, was his relationship with the films cinematographer, Vivi Dragen. Vivi spoke little to no English. The two men had very. Incredibly different artistic visions. Bota was of the mindset to shoot Deader like its story suggested. Chaotic, erratic framing, unconventional lighting , handcam and the like. Something to fit the frantic psychological story and character in the film. Vivi was a very respected traditional European cinematographer. He disliked most American camera styles ESPECIALLY handcam and wanted to lean more on dolly tracks, elegent lighting and framing.

So the two would argue.

Through translators.

Like Harry Potter made fun of and children did to handle disputes. You send someone with a message for the person you aren’t talking too. They deliver the message, and you send them back with one of your own. Running back and forth having full conversations. Or in this case arguments.

It got to a point that sometimes, translators weren’t found, and the end result would be one person filming how they wanted and the other having to deal with it. Both men did this which only added to the weird look and feel of Deader.

Arguing on set is no new thing, for sure. But having to do so through a translator. When you have 12-16 hour shoots…and you spent a majority of that fighting with your cinematographer about lighting and camera setup. Trying to explain your reasoning. Having to wait for it to translate from one end to the other. It’s almost like arguing online, your anger turning more to frustration waiting for replies to post , responding to one only to see two more things pop up now having to address that. It was taxing on both of them and the production. Add to this the fact it was freezing outside, the sets being decayed buildings meant none of them had heating. It was a wonderful time for one and all.

Now, if the movie sounded bad. It’s not because it was straight to video. For the most part unless its purposely shot as shitty as possible, most sound just fine. This film, not so much. The pluss of shooting on decayed war torn locations and buildings is that it looks lived in, has history and adds production value. The minus is the fact you need to do massive soundproofing if you want any hope of recording something decent. For example, a friend of my sister was told I did some video editing and asked if I could edit the sound on a recording she’d done with her dad atop a mountain. It was done in honor of their grandmothers passing and he made a small speech while sitting atop the mountain. The entire video looks beautiful, the audio is part dialog and a majority of wind from every direction all at once in every direction. It was, a nightmare. Film students at the Art Institute also bitched about sound because they’d finally get their hands on a camera, go out, setup their art school scene of a man on a bench over looking the water thinking about his life. And all the audio is a wave of roaring wind, and traffic. Sound needs respect and these sets needed soundproofing to capture that thing which helps make your movie, called dialogue.

Unfortunately, the studio while abusing every loophole to save money. Was not going to spend money soundproofing sets. The name of the game remains the same and that game is shoot it, print it, move on.

So that meant echo chambers, low quality recording. An editors worst nightmare. Remembering they needed heaters to keep people from freezing, and those were rare. They and the equipment, lights and all ran off generators. Generators are a noise you cannot kill off without  a lot of help. That understandably drove the sound department insane, the director and actors on top of it. So that means. ADR to the rescue. ADR or Automated Dialogue Replacement means an actor standing in a sound studio recording their lines to redub scenes.

ADR is usually used for additional dialogue or if you have say a man delivering a speech on top of a mountain honoring a family member who’s passed. You get them to reread their speech and use that audio while lowering the natural audio or completely removing it.

Nearly 80% of the films audio was absolutely filled with generator noise and interference. Echo and roads. A Hollywood production team filming a Polonia bothers film. Having to call back all of your main cast to rerecord their lines. Yeah that cost their purposely cut down budget.

I don’t know why this is funny to me. It was funny watching and then realizing it was on purpose, well this is even funnier but. The costumes.

In short, there were no costumes. Even on low budget direct-to-video sets you will usually end up with several. We’ll be generous. Several of the same costume for actors to wear repeatedly. It’s kind of neat when you get into film tricks and effects work, you learn how they simulate sweat, grime. Making someone look like they stink to high hell and came crawling out of a sewer while smelling in reality of irish spring. One such trick is liquid glycerin. They spray this on actors and wham. You look like you’ve been dancing in a strip club for hours in the middle of a heat wave and the ac broke down. But it never runs, it doesn’t dry out. It stays right the fuck where it is and looks fresh as ever.

They couldn’t have this, or several of any clothing.

They would hose down actors and extras with cold water, mineral spirits to darken and dirty their clothing, and grab dirt right from the ground at their feet to give them the uncared unwashed look the director envisioned for his underground deader punks.

Because they had no budget for any of the films departments. This meant costumes were. Well. A mix of bring your own outfit and the time honored true goth tradition of second hand store raiding.

This film is the closest to what it was like filming Carnival of the Damned as a zombie for my sister’s now ex boyfriends passion project with his best friend. You showed up in your clothes from work or home, get makeup slapped on you, stand around for hours until they need you and go home after.

Except this was done for a Hollywood studio. I love it. But fuck its sad. The costume department ran all over Romania looking for goth like and punk attire in second hand stores. Casting calls would translate for actors to try. Try to arrive dressed in character. To make things even funner for them? Background extras hired for pennies were all hired the day before shooting. You had no idea who would show up let alone their size. So saying they grabbed any and everything off a  clothing rack without checking sizing. Well yeah. Do what you gotta do and make it work.

I mean, you can argue it gives everyone you see a distinct look and a lived in look. But good god that is a shit show. And it shows in the film.

What would a shit show production be. Without its effects group suffering along side them. It wasn’t that long ago we had an entire effects group work for free while being lied too about a theatrical release. This time no one was lying to them. They were just on a forced zero budget.

Not just zero as in none existent. But Zero as in zero waste, zero time, zero second chances.

They pushed hard on everyone to shoot, print, and move on. That’s never changed. So the effects group faced the same challenge only under tighter and somehow worse constraints. As Freddy and his crew suffered, so did Hellraiser with the strict rule of, make it work, you got one shot, don’t fuck it up. That’s nothing new but still a bitch to work with. What made this worse. Was the fact it was in the dead of a freezing winter. The only heaters on set were guarded and every department worked in a bare bones shack with four walls and a roof. Liquid latex, foam latex. All forms of latex which practical effects work with for, everything. Freezes. It  congeals, turns mushy when not fully cured, and can actually shatter if cold enough. The few times I’ve worked with it making mask, it can be a bitch when you live outside of the land the sun forgot. Kind of like resin 3D printing. You need that stuff at least around 27-29c for it to work right. If it gets too cold, it gums up, it causes misprints and a host of issues.

On a horror movie set which relies on special effects and latex. Well. That presents a problem. Latex appliances were shattering in the cold, blood would congeal and jam up the pumps meant to sent it spraying into the air and out throat gashes. The fact you had several cenobites who needed extensive facial applications, including your star cenobite himself. That was going to be an even bigger bitch. You’d figure the studio might do something to ensure the guy they put on the fucking posters would LOOK like he’s supposed to. But no. They could not give a shit. Get it done and get it in the can.

Just as the costume department had to salvage their outfits from second hand stores. So to it the effects department scavenged every space heater across the land. They drapped everything in sheet plastic, created a makeshift heat tent and managed to make prosthetics. Which would mostly reach full cure, were workable and could stand several hours before freezing.

However once applied, and the cold sweats kick in. That’s a different story.

Doug Bradley as shared, and the effects department head as well. They would have to constantly work on, re-apply, and keep adding bottles of spirit gum to Doug’s face to keep his pinhead makeup for sliding off his face. The fight to keep warm and keep your makeup in place moving from the beautiful delicious heat out into ball shriveling cold. It’s an experience. The idea of them managing all this on set moments before shooting, and immediately rushing in between cuts to fix the latex. All this work for a shit film. Bradely talked about his the constant gluing, the work arounds they used fixing a bald cap, the latex, with actual metal pins in it. It all tightened his face into a near cenobite like experience.

Every single department suffered. So the studio could shave cost on producing two films, driving cast and crew to physical and emotional exhaustion, and again. For what?

A film they didn’t care about, and were making just to keep Clive Barker from retaining.

My cousin, years back broke up with an obese man child who controlled her. They were staying in a carriage house on my parents land. When they broke up and he moved out. Leaving her and their infant son to live there. He decided he was taking 3 microwaves from the house, 2 baby car seats, diapers, her pillow, blanket and her office chair. Because he claimed those were his. That man was a run of the mill jabba the fuck. This was a movie studio butt fucking the dried prune hole of a corpse just to spite its creator. Wasting actual money to do so.

Anyway, back to this dead rotting thing. Because like always. We still have the goddamn editing.

I am not the only one to fall asleep trying to watch this movie. And that’s what they released to video. That was the best the editors could put together.

Every problem the production faced and was forced into. Showed up in every recorded frame. There was no climax to the film, there was no narrative or transitional shots for the film. Kill shots were quickly. Quickly shot by the director, because lingering for longer than all of a full second meant seeing blood tubes, uncured latex and applied latex peeling off actors faces.

The editor had piles of film with barely any cohesive story and no actual climax. Like the other departments, the editor would have to use every tool under their belt and stitch together something resembling a film. The editor has said the entire climax of the film was doing by reusing reaction shots of Doug and Kari Wuhrer. They’re never in the same room, and through the entire shot you see her crying, screaming. Flashes and occasionally what was filmed of her sacrifice. Pinheads lines from other scenes were added in on top of that. Extending what limited time he had been filmed. To hide the physical blunders they relied on 90’s quick cuts and micro edits. Scenes jumped in half a second one to the other making scenes frantic and action unreadable. It made the film hard for people to follow but it used everything filmed to try. Try to make it make sense. The forced ADR made scenes and actors feel entirely dubbed as not all their mouths lined up and the only way to cover that up was stretching film, more quick cuts or again. Move on and let god take the wheel.

Now imagine. You just got down spending 9 weeks in a freezing foreign town, with no  help. No one but yourself to rely on. Everyone around you exhausted and ready to walk out. You piece together something you’d rather remove your name from entirely. PRAYING you could Allan Smithee yourself out. Only to turn in your finished product, and have the studio shelve it.

Dimension films locked this film and its immediate sequel in a vault.

Not because it was horrible, incoherent and a disaster. But because Bob and Harvey Weinstein decided they wanted to part from Disney and make their fortune alone as the Weinstein Co.

So people. I can’t say fans because it hurts. But fuck I did rent it. I hate seeing what they did to my boy, but I still had to see. We few had to wait 3 years until this film would see the light of day.

A few months later Hellworld would follow. They didn’t bother waiting. They just pinched off one loaf and let the shit river follow.

In short. No one hated the film. Even critics didn’t hate it. What’s the point in hating something you just can’t even bring yourself the energy to hate? It was boring, it made no sense, and watching the movie. You could immediately see what they moderately tried in the previous films to hide, that the film was a stand alone film with Pinhead thrown in at the end. It wasn’t even a film, let alone a Hellraiser film. It wasn’t a tax right off. It was just a way to hold onto the rights.

Failing at a film is one thing. But when you make one that your entire audience just can’t be bothered with, and knows exactly why you made it. It’s how it felt when you lost your connection to Star Wars and realized the new hands holding it were going to milk it for its name only and every new announced show just has less and less effect on you because you just.

You just don’t care.

And they still had one more to release on the world. It would be the last of the Doug Bradly Pinhead films. It would also be the first one to feature a former big name actor, and introduce a future big name actor. This has to be said. Just to put you in the head space of anyone that gave and used to enjoy giving a shit about this series. The fact you lose Doug Bradley. Pinhead himself. You would think that means the series has finally been laid to rest after Hellworld.

They made 2 more fucking movies after Hellworld. 2. Because fuck Barker apparently.

Hellraiser Hellworld

Lets get through this quickly because the less said the better.

God if only.

This is the finale as far as whatever fans were left and everyone else was and is concerned. You could see the bright blaring signs years ago, covered over in the brightest red THIS IS THE END text, replaced with a GOING OUT OF BUSINESS sign. Fans didn’t even hold a funeral they just walked away without a fuck given or shit had. And it’s deserved, and earned. Well earned. Dimension did this, and they did not hold back. Based off everything I have covered here on Hellraiser so far under their banner, Halloween when Dimension began releasing them. They knew how to navigate both theatrical and home video. They could have done so much more but purposely didn’t. They watched this thing, that they paid for suffer and die of the slowest body destroying disease. All while blowing air bubbles in the IV lines and resetting the life support daily.

I don’t know why anyone would willingly do what Dimension did to this property the way they did, but they made that choice and I have yet to find anything to convince me it wasn’t just done as the most brutal overly petty act to keep an artist separated from their art.

The worst part about this is somehow not that we have two more Hellraiser films after this. It’s the fact that this film is in a constant I shit you not, online debate on the level of Han Shot First, as to whether Hellworld or Hellraiser Judgement is the worst Hellraiser in the entire franchise.

I loathe, with a very special, very direct and personal hatred Judgement. There is nothing positive in that movie. But this film is not anywhere in league with the levels of bad that movie was.  Which as horrible as this film is? Says a hell of a lot.

Because this thing isn’t just bad. It’s insulting and was the last straw for everyone.

Everyone except Dimension.

So we already know this film was rushed right along side Deader. We also know this film had no script. It shared a portion of the budget from Deader and used the same locations redressed and the same extras. We know the studio did not give a fuck and it was utter hell for the director, the cast and the crew.

Yet there is still new levels of hell here, because of course there is. Now under normal filming. When you rush two films in the same franchise out at the same time. Sharing a production. It’s usually, normally because you are carrying over a direct sequel. You plan to extend the end of the last film and carry it over. Like Back to the Future, you expect the story to continue.

Hellworld has nothing to do with Deader. The only link is the puzzle box. I guess that works? Sure fuck it any hole is a goal. So what is the story then? Well that’s the first puzzling thing. Yes like the other films they continues shoving Pinhead into another unrelated story. That’s nothing new. What is new however. Is the things they did with this movie. Because it just makes it even more puzzling.

Consider as you read this, what the theme and story was of the past three direct to video Hellraiser films.

The new story

This film centers on a group of buddies in college mourning their dead friend. He took his own life after apparently losing himself to his obsession and the groups shared fun past time. Playing a game called Hellworld.

Hellworld is a ‘video game’ based entirely off of Pinhead and the Lament configuration.

No. This is not like Craven’s New Nightmare going meta and taking place in our reality. It is meta, just very poorly meta.

This films world is one which everyone knows about Pinhead and the cenobites, because the events of every single Hellraiser film are public knowledge. Pinhead is treated like an urban legend and someone made the game based off that legend. The game includes every line from the first two classic films. Because there is nothing quotable from the others.

The group for the most part has stuck close together and everyone of them is still obsessed with playing Hellworld, the game that drove their friend to suicide. Well as they each play the game, they all have to solve the puzzle box virtually, as each one does they all get a printable invite to a Hellworld Party!

Yes, it’s going to be that kind of film.

So the friendos jump in their college cars, ready to mingle with all the hot ladies, even if they’re dating someone already, and embracing the crazy wildness of a Hellworld party. Which takes place in a large super rich dilapidated mansion.

As with all typical slashers, the group arrives. It’s an orgy to the senses in weirdness and hellraiser props, as well as apparently a physical orgy. Because gaming on this level with a Pinhead game makes people horny and of course they’ll be showing off their tits and fucking in a decaying house.  While the setup is laid out our group of friends slowly one by one is killed off. Each one getting a glimpse at some moment of a cenobite and I do mean, glimpse. Because no one lingers for longer than half a sentence.

One such victim is the true note worthy standout. This features the future son of Krypton and son of the emperor of Mankind, Henry Cavill.

Notice I said features and not stars. It was a super early film for him and he was relegated to a horny lets do it party pal. I say this, because its what he is. The film though would have you believe he and all of these forgettable friends are tech obsessed 90’s like hacker friends. I say hacker in relation to the film Hackers and the fake culture that film tried showing us versus actual hacking and being cool. The theme of this film was to mimic unapologetically The Matrix with the meta and humor of Scream.

It is also worth nothing the host of this party. Who is noticeable older than everyone else, and is more than happy to take part in setting up deaths, is the legend of film and best southern vampire to ever exist, our friendly neighborhood artificial lifeform Lance Henriksen.

Yes they pulled out all the stops for this one and nabbed themselves a true star of the big Hollywood screen.

So everyone dies as they do in a slasher and we get down to our final girl. Battling for her life and her sanity as her friends have all been dispatched by both Pinhead and, Lance. But why Lance you say? Why? Well that’s the twist of the film, because the films all have one ever since it mildly made people shift in their seats the first time.

As it turns out? None of this was real.

Pinhead cutting Henry Cavill into three chunks of a body, a girl getting bled out in a chair. All of their bestest buddy friendos who were dispatched by faceless cenobites AND the Temu Chatterer. Never happened.

Lance Henriksen, the mysterious rich host of the party who had an entire room dedicated to every prop, puzzle box, photo and anything to do with the Hellworld game and Hellraiser mythos. He collected. Well it turns out this rich worldly man, is none other than the father of their dead friend Adam. Adam’s father was never there, as he was a wealthy world traveled man traveling the world, which is why his son became obsessed with Hellworld. As a dad replacement.

So yes. Adam’s dad tricked them all to the party. So he could capture them and do as he wished as he blamed them all for the death of his son.

Now hold on to your butts, because there’s even more twist. The matrix like sex rave party they were all getting eyes and hands full of tits? Never happened. The room with the props from Hellworld? No. The moment they all entered the house and at different times. Lance drugged them all with a heavy hallucinatory drug. Stripped them of their cellphones and buried them all in coffins underground.

Every conversation they had, dance party remix memory, right down to their deaths. Was all just in their heads in a collective hallucination. So then how did the police find them?

ANOTHER TWIST!!!

They received an anonymous call telling them to hurry to the house and dig. They discovered the coffins and began saving the kids all thanks to the mystery call. Which came from. The final girls cellphone!! Which she didn’t have! It was left inside the house!!

The twist would have you believe Adams ghost used it to call the cops and get them to save his bestest friends. This is why its important to have a healer class in your friends group in and out of the game.

BUT WAIT! There’s more!!

The film wants to deliver just One. More. Twist!

The final scene of the film is a drunk Lance Henrikson in a motel. He escaped authorities and made off with the only thing he cares about. Booze and a suitcase of his dead sons belongings. Of which he finds the actual Lament configuration. While drunk he solves it because he doesn’t believe in this bullshit, and summons the very real, not drunk hallucination Pinhead and his temu cenobites. They kill him and the movie ends with Pinhead. The man who has suffered through 8 total Hellraiser films, saying the line “How’s that for a wake up call?”. They turned him into Freddy Kreuger with the quips, and the film ends.

Again.

These two films were filmed side by side. And are completely, tonally polar opposites of each other. It’s just. Madness.

You had Deader, which at least tried to be a hellraiser film, letting the original story do most the heavy lifting. Which even then you could painfully tell the film felt like a movie already filmed with additional shots of cenobites tossed in. But at least it fit with the other films before it that Dimension forced out of its ass. But this one? They went from the familiar blurring reality and hallucination cop investigation stories, to a straight up Scooby Doo slasher. It’s even weirder when you consider for these 4 Dimension films all they’ve done is talk about wanting to make Pinhead into a slasher. They just waited until it happened by pure accidental dumb luck to do it? While also decided to make the film into a scream like meta comedy. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s also what happens when you do exactly what they did, and without a script.

But it doesn’t stop there. See they didn’t just blindly think “Hey, while in Rome” and decide to make another one without any idea what to do. They greenlit a story for this fucking thing like always and had the writers shovel in hellraiser. All they did was said okay to the stories, Deader had a script because that had actual planning. But Hellworld was an after thought and quickly greenlit to be shot at the same time, assuming they could hammer out the script and make it work. And for one brief moment? When considering the story for Hellworld? They actually had two moments of near originality.

Before Dimension even had the inspiration of their dual filming adventure in Romania? They considered what the Weinsteins usually did. Building their next film off the hype of another. Only this one would have been the worst unintended comedy, that likely today would have been forgotten but mildly funny to think actually was considered a good idea.

Since everyone was hyped about Jason vs Freddy. Dimension thought well fuck. Why don’t WE do that?! So the idea was born and immediately shopped to do the second biggest horror cross over. Pinhead vs Michael Myers.

Now. I am no studio executive, or producer. But one might think. A more logical cross over that might make sense while still being completely ridiculous. Might be pitting your own original franchise killer Ghost Face from Scream, against Michael Myers. I mean it’s silly but that could work. Both killers are grounded in reality. It also would make worlds more sense when in comparison to Michael fucking Myers slashing through literal fucking demons who summon chains from nothing and come direct from fucking hell.

But as Angelique said in Bloodline, thank god for men of reason When the Weinsteins approached Moustafa Akkad with their grand million dollar idea? He scoffed at it and told them get away from me and my son. When approached by outsiders floating the idea of this past Clive Barker, he just stared off and reminded people he has and wants nothing to do with the shit they’re pumping out. So the idea was dropped and the world was better for it.

So with that the studio decided fine, okay. Lets dig up another story we own and force Pinhead into it. That story was Dark Can’t Breath.

Dark Can’t Breath was a psychological thriller about a grieving father who kidnaps, drugs and buries alive his sons friends, blaming them for his death. The plot focused on the group being aware of their situation and having lucid visions and hallucinations of being chased down by a masked killer in an old house, all of them losing oxygen and dying one by one buried underground.

Executives read that and got excited, “PUT THAT PINHEAD IN IT AND CALL IT HELLRAISER!” They faxed the story over to their Deader director, he handed it over to the writer and the man got to work.

On an extreme time crunch and having to refine the story to now include Hellraiser. The writer came up with the idea of doing a straight up scream rip off he called Hellraiser Deadworld. Where the college friends would be teens who joke about horror movie cliches all while navigating a haunted hous Labyrinth in the….Leviathan house.

The studio liked the meta idea, because they liked their Scream movies. But wanted the movie to appeal to younger audiences. Like Halloween Ressurection and Busta Rhymes. So told them to switch out meta horror movie with video games. Because that was hot and topical with the youth. And so out story was born.  I emphasize story, and not script. Because that itself would never manifest fully. Only delivered in daily scribbled pages.

Now you might assume, as this film got the larger hunk of the budget compared to Deader, that this would be for its semi star filled cast. Mostly to pay for Lance’s time. Much like bringing Kirsty back. That would make sense, however no. The budget wasn’t raised to secure him. In fact he wasn’t even considered for the film what so ever.

What happened was the director realizing they had no one. They had no big name stars or known talent and given that they needed a villain who could stand against the eventual Doug Bradley appearance. They had to find someone who could. But Dimension wasn’t going to fly talent out there from Los Angeles. The director began hunting, or talent pouching you could say across other active productions in the area. He just happened to come across Lance during his lunch time while filming the third Mimic movie on Romania. He asked if he would care to spend his off time working on the film as the main villain in a franchse. Lance likes money and an actors gotta eat so he agreed.

Keep in mind the film still had no script. And never genuinely would.

Having no script is a challenge itself for the actors. Having no script is an unhinged challenge to everyone else trying to figure out the fucking movie. Production crews need a script to have an idea what they will be shooting and what departments would be needed. Set designers needed scripts and direction from the art department to know how to dress sets and cast. Special effects crews need scripts to know what tricks and rigs they need to come up with for the deaths in the film and who to lock in the trailer for makeup.

Every single day the writer was faxing unpolished fresh out his brain pages unfolding each scene.

With wardrobe recycling outfits between productions and still circling thrift shops. With a change from punk to cyber punk clothing, the set faced a new fun challenge. The rave and the Hellworld game.

It’s genuinely funny having to say that unlike Deader this film takes place largely in an old house. But also having to add that it also has a basement, a morgue, a study and it’s one of those Harry Potter homes that looks small on the outside but hold several buildings within it. Obviously the problem becomes how do you make these decaying mold infested broken buildings look like a mansion, and college dorm.

The answer was to film the movie like you were filming a television show. Close up and tight!

Also green screen. Lots and LOTS of green screen. Doorways, halls. Room entry ways. Covered in green screen in hopes the visual effects crew would insert a rave into their war torn crumbling warehouse. It was literally so bad that they would have to perfectly park the camera. As close as humanly possible because just a small twist to the side. Barely an inch one way or the other? And you’d see the mold. Destroyed doorways and flooring. It’s like when you try to take your Instagram food pic and don’t want your partners glass or hand in the shot. You want this to look composed so you zoom in, and zoom, then reposition. Once quick twitch and your shots fucked.

That was the entire shoot. What worked for one movie served to ruin the other.

Also having a movie based around a video game, seeing people play said video game. Well they didn’t have a game, or animation. They didn’t know what it would look like or how it was even played since. Scripts help you to visualize that and direct your actors.

It’s not uncommon on film sets to do that. Serenity famously had their pilot flying the ship without an actual steering column. But everyone was playing a different version of Hellworld throughout and the visual effects department saw nothing wrong with this. Sometimes the game is you escaping pinhead down long corridors. Sometimes you are solving puzzle boxes. All done while staring at nothing on a blank green cloth taped onto a crt monitor.

Also remember this was in the dead of winter, in a building riddled with holes, broken windows, missing walls and bare floors with no wiring no electricity. And everyone is dressed for a body heat filled rave grinding and sexing on each other.

Movies make a lot of things look sexy, like sex in the shower. Having done this, a few times. I can say safely films leave a lot out. The fact one of you will be getting the shower waters warm spray, and the other will go cold. That minutes fly by quickly and hot water turns could quickly. Kissing under water requires a lot of work if you want to actually breath as water likes to cut off airways and believe me water. Is not a lubricant.

Trying to be sexy, when your cooter is frozen and your dick wants to hibernate for an eternity is not easy for anyone. Trained or not

One of the funniest things still has to be the extras and actors. As the cast who wasn’t its core members were all locals. That meant a lot of accents and broken English to no English. If you could speak English? You had to force an American accent. Or like certain cast who lead others to their doom, you only speak VERY little and keep the fact your Romanian to yourself while shaking your head and nodding the rest of the time.

Add to this the fact no one knew their fucking lines until the very day of. Meaning people who speak very little English being given full English dialogue and being expected to deliver it within an hour or two. Yeah that created fun times.

Reaching out for British actors helps but only goes so far.

You might also have noticed that this film had a distinct style to it that was absent from most of the last film. That’s because the famed Romanian cinematographer that clashed with our director ended up leaving after Deader. He was done and did not give a fuck. So Rick Bota was finally allowed a new cinematographer that would listen to him and give that quick cut 90’s style vibe he wanted in the first place. Again even though both films are dog shit, if you never looked at the release date you’d be hard pressed to imagine the film was made at the same time as Deader. It’s just that kind of insane.

With this film being, or supposed to be a tech savvy matrix like film. It had to have a lot of high tech, servers, holograms, internet! Internet everywhere! But without increasing the budget. So the matrix phones and huge pc servers? Nowhere to be found. They’d green screen those later, and the phones were simple cheap burner phones. Which only had one use in the film explained to us. You wore a mask with a number, you texted the number of the person you want to fuck or dance with. That’s it.

As Deader was a…I don’t want to say it because it makes me laugh but, slow burn psychological thriller. It didn’t have what this film would, as Hellworld was a slasher. It needed jumpscares. When the studio reviewed dailies sent to them from Romania. They’d tell the director to toss in a cenobite. Add in a jump scare. Something. Slashers needed to be scary. Scream had these, so they needed them too.

Though the sets had plenty of jump scares. Of the natural type.

For instance as we keep bringing up the freezing cold. You may not be aware, or maybe you are. But concrete reacts oddly to cold. Especially freezing cold. Concrete sweats. Which means solid cold concrete and a slippery surface that can and will turn to ice. This was brutal on stunt people and caused constant slip warnings and zones of danger.

Since this was a slasher and required a good deal of stunt work. It also required rigs and pully systems. Much like Deader as well. Having to setup rigs to pull people, and even simple wire work. Meant bracing against the walls.

The same walls that were falling apart and barely held the place together as it was. Stunt coordinators said every time they readied for a stunt they began praying and keeping eyes on the walls. Fully waiting and expecting the walls to give way and the building to crush everyone. Of course we can’t forget the list of plague carriers who were sick being forced to work long grueling hours sweating and freezing. Eventually the cast, and crew began to rebel. The only problem was no one was listening and they knew it.

It honestly reminds me more and more of the time working in a grocery store that our new assistant manager came up to me and decided I was worth venting too. He told me that management informed him everyone on night crew is down and seems to be lacking motivation of any kind. They noticed we were over worked and no one wanted to be there. He told me he was made to work with us under the guise of “Offering some extra help”, when in reality he was there because upper management wanted him to motivate all of us.

At the time I was 23 and this guy was nearing 40. He told me with a defeated face “I’m supposed to motivate you all and bump the mood overall up. But how am I supposed to do that when even I’m feeling the same as all of you. Like…this is just. It’s bad man. It’s really bad and I don’t know what to do.” I just shrugged and told him welcome to Night Crew. No one cared about our problems or what we had to deal with. So long as freight was thrown before the store opens and all the aisles were faced.

The studio never interfered or cared. They looked at dailies and gave feedback. Everything else well. There was an answer behind this, and no one was going to like it.

When your Romanian cast of extras begin cussing you and everyone out and nothing changes. When departments beg you for money and a script and as a director you can’t give them either because your waiting for the same. People freezing and worst of all the equipment you shipped to film the movie, and rented to light it. Would constantly break down because the fuses they all ran generators off of to film anything were constantly being overloaded and blown. Well you’d have to tell the studio. They need to know, they need to step in.

Especially when your effects department is struggling to make anything work and needs more money for simple makeup work like scars and blood.

They absolutely went to the studio about this.

They’d demand heating for the sound stages, budget increases for effects, safety equipment for the cast crew and stunts. HIGH TECH GEAR FOR THE HIGH TECH FILM YOU WANTED.

They were given more than just a no. They were told, very clearly and up front, not only would these things receive a no, and should not be asked for. They were told, Technically? The films only needed to exist to fulfill a contract. Meaning quality was irrelevant at the end of the day and corporate only needed a place holder to keep the property in studio hands.

Having your boss tell you that nothing you did, or needed mattered. That you could literally record the film with your cellphone and they would not care so long as it could be sold to video stores. How do you go to your crew with that? And keep them from breaking completely and walking off.

I mean in retrospect that genuinely should have happened, and had it happened it would have likely meant either the studio being stripped finally of the abused property. Or they’d have to show some kind of genuine care for it. For a change.

Thankfully the film wrapped production and everyone was free of their hell, but forever carrying scars of this production.

No one would come back for this under any circumstance. And just like with Deader. There would be no pickup shots, reshoots of any kind, and given how many people were pulled back for ADR work, getting them to do the same back home in Los Angels would be less a challenge of distance and more a challenge of do I even care to do it.

The studio used the same editor as Deader. The same editor who exhausted themselves trying to form a narrative from a film without one and created the entire ending of the film when it had none.

That editor now had to immediately set to work on a film with zero structure and cyber graphics that looked shit by even film school and home computer standards.

Since the death scenes were largely improvised and came up with the day of by the director and effects department, the film didn’t have clear start points and end scene marks. It was just, death, next scene. Because the effects failed on set do to the cold and contributing factors. That means stunts looked fake and deaths looked like fan film deaths.

It is exactly because of this. That the editor began using one of the painful effects of the film.Artificial motion blur coupled with rapid jump cuts. Add in overly contrasted digital flashes and you had the movies frantic near seizure inducing final cut. As for the computer effects for the Hellworld video game? The tech savvy, cyber world thriller that was Hellworld. Looked comically bad and they could do nothing about it. They has what they had, and the studio made it clear it didn’t need anything and would receive nothing swiftly.

When this film and Deader were locked in the vault. They should’ve stayed there. Just like the documentary Prince commissioned Kevin Smith to make on him, and his hundreds of unreleased albums and music videos he vaulted. Like George Lucas and his 3 hour cut of Revenge of the Sith with a completely different descent to the Dark Side for Anakin. Let your mind picture it and wonder how it would have been and how much better, versus releasing it on to the world and realizing sometimes dead is better.

If Deader was released and no one cared. You would assume the same happened with this one. It did not.

When you make a film so bad that people can’t make themselves give a shit to criticize it or tell you it was bad. That’s an achievement in its own right.

But to make a movie that by some magical feat was far worse? So bad it caused those same fans. All the fans to stand together and mock you as a studio, and your film. Then to savagely attack you, and your film. That is completely next level.

Fans were insulted. Horribly. Again it was a film that wasn’t even hiding that it was never meant to be a Hellraiser film. But having that film completely destroy the character of Pinhead, reduce the series to a meta joke. The literal live action Scooby doo twist and ending of the film. No one actually dying in the movie except Lance. Turning the franchise into a cyber tech slasher that made the graphics in Hackers look like ILM quality. Not one person enjoyed this. No one thought “Well it’s a good change for the franchise.” No. No one was swallowing this and they outright loathed the film and Dimension for making it.

As I also mentioned much earlier. This was Doug Bradley’s last film as Pinhead.

He had enough. Between threats of legal action if he talked out about the movie. The forced NDA. Paying him for less than a single film across two productions. Reducing his character to a quipping slasher villain who only served to show up at the last minute, stare and say one to two lines. He was done. He did all he could, he stuck it out through 4 Dimension Hellraiser films and he was fed up. It wasn’t a power move expecting them to come crawling and pay him more. He was ‘done’.  That move alone signaled to fans and audiences. When the man who made 3 previous direct to video sequels decides enough is enough. The 4th one isn’t worth seeing.

The very moment production wrapped on both films He was done, he wasn’t going to sit on it and wait. That production was the final nail in Pinheads skull. Shattering it.

On the other side of the films release. Even Clive Barker was enraged. He wasn’t under any restraint to keep silent, the man didn’t mix words and let everything out online and in interviews. He didn’t disown the films, he condemned them and the studio for weaponizing his intellectual property purely to dodge legal deadlines, while purposely stripping the stories of every distinct feature that made it what it was. Cannibalizing other writers films to force the franchise into it and forcing production staff and crew to ‘deal with it’. He was not going to back down and he had every write to set fire to the Weinsteins for what they had done for too long.

The studio did not care. They had what they wanted. A safety net that insured the franchise would remain with them for several long years. Letting them focus on other projects. They could only ignore the hate for what they did for so long though. I mean at the end of the day, even if you spend money just to keep something? You need to make some of that back, and with other films failing at the box office, and people in general not caring for Dimension films as it was quickly becoming known for pushing out crap films. This began a ticking clock for the studio they wouldn’t be able to ignore. But it was something they did to themselves.

Once again this franchise, these last two films. What happened? Nothing. The studio didn’t kill them. The MPAA had nothing to do with direct to video. The films weren’t ever meant for quality or entertainment. You can’t kill what had no life in it, and you can’t put blame on anyone. When the only people who cared were the ones forced to make it for pennies and suffered for it.

No film deserves that, Even as bad as Friday the 13th got, it never went that hard into fucking itself over. Not even Freddy would. We got Robocop flying with a jet pack and fighting Ninjas. But he never fought Michael Myers or The Predator. Thought that would’ve actually been cool as fuck. Those productions cared about the franchises and did the best with what they had.

I mean Jesus fuck even Leprechaun managed to entertain people and it went to space and ‘da hood’ twice. Fucking twice.

We still have two more films to go. Like Boogie2988 screamed. This is hell. You don’t get to leave hell. Hell is forever.

They were going to keep going, Without Barker, and without Pinhead. Jason got away with it because Jason just had to look imposing and kill. Freddy was replaced eventually in the remake. Which made sense given he retired the character after Freddy vs Jason. But a new Pinhead in the franchise? Of course this could only go well.

We are not entering the last two films of this franchise and the last two films I struggled with the first time, and only watched one time.

Because once was more than either deserved, and more than enough for one person. But here we are. Let it end.

Hellraiser Revelations.

This is the beginning of the end and thank the maker. But having to go through this film again. Nothing can make up for that. Not a single thing. It’s just horrible, and we will get into just how and why. Because this was a thing that did not need to be, but was. And not for the reasons you may be imagining.

It had been 6 years since we last had a hellraiser film at the time, and the world was better for it. Dimension was busy making its name known with, other titles. Since they were officially out from under Disney they could do whatever they wanted. Like putting out the films The Mist, which I love, Outlander, not so much, and Grindhouse.

Two of these films were failures at the box office. One of them, while entertaining, hugely underperformed.

Grindhouse underperformed.

The film cost Dimension films around $67 million and brought in around $25 million. Long gone were the days of Scream, Mimic and From Dusk till Dawn. The studio was losing money and entering crisis mode.

So enter Hellraiser?

No.

They were getting desperate but not insane. What could Hellraiser do for them after they ran it into the ground. It was the furthest thing from their mind.

They set their sites on one film. A film they thought would bring them out of their current spiral, course correct them back to the land of money and whores. That film was the redefining of a one time classic Genre of films. It would reignite horror comedy like Scream and teens would flock to it. That film, was Cursed.

If you are having trouble remembering what the fuck Cursed was? Your not alone. Cursed was a teen werewolf slasher film. It’s also where the reaction gif you might have seen used a time or two online came from of a werewolf giving the finger. Which happens in the movie.

The tossed everything behind the movie, honestly thinking it would salvage them, they even allowed for a $40 million dollar budget.

The film bombed. Fucking hard. No one cared. I did rent it and it was pretty forgettable. It had a lot of cheese but, no real substance to it. The film made under $30 million and the studio was shitting themselves.

They had no idea what to do and what could save them. Was the answer Hellraiser? No.

But it was finally on their minds!

They suddenly were reminded that the rights to the film would soon be back on the chopping black and returned to Clive Barker. This put them in a panic. They were falling off the face of relevancy, they were losing money hand over fist and their safety net was diminishing.

They suddenly had an idea. One that for them, was highly original.

They would setout to remake Hellraiser.

Yes. Dimension was going to attempt to remake Hellraiser.

This was going to be their savior and salvation. Because this was a time for remakes! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot, The Amityville reboot. Platinum Dunes was tapping into a goldmine with intensive gory remakes/reboots and Dimension wanted in on it.

The problem was, they ran Hellraiser into the fucking ground, and Pinhead would not be coming back under any circumstances.

Fortunately for them, and shockingly. I do mean, shockingly. A savior would come to their doorstep.

Clive Barker.

The man they were actively keeping the property he created away from and ran it so far into the ground it had become a devalued joke of itself. He came to Dimension, not because he wanted to make a deal to get his baby back. Instead he tried making a truce with them. If he couldn’t have his property back, fine. But he could at least ask them to try and see reason, and work with him on an idea he had. His own idea to remake Hellraiser. The studio said yes and they immediately began working WITH Barker on a new Hellraiser.

Barker was happy at long last. Because they would work to help him get his vision on the big screen. Clive wanted to tell a deeper lore rich story. He wanted to revisit the 1700’s and Phillippe Lemarchand. They would begin there and lead directly into a far darker, more meaner, psychological horror retelling of his original film. But he wanted assurances this would not be a swindle, no straight to video bullshit. He also required the studio bring back, and respectfully pay Doug Bradley to return as Pinhead. There is no Pinhead without Doug and he wouldn’t write a story for the studio without his friend. They agreed immediately.

So the unlikely duo began working on what would be coined as “Clive Barker Presents Hellraiser”

Adding to their spare no expense project for this. The studio hired on the French directors Behind the film INSIDE,

Then the problems began.

The studio agreed like they did with everything. But once things were going to become a reality, that meant doing what they do. Fucking around, and finding out. AKA the old familiar problems that started their hate for each other.

Clive wanted a deeply lore driven story that would lean into psychological horror and gore.

The studio wanted a typical slasher film.

The French directors didn’t care for the story initially pitched and wanted to add their own touches. The studio told them no deal, so the pair left.

Another French horror director was brought on. And quickly left.

Barker turned in another story draft. The studio rejected it asking for less lore, more kills.

Eventually the studio started ghosting Barker and not returning his calls. Any script. Not story, but script he turned over. They immediately had their own writing teams begin reworking, but even then they weren’t happy with the results. Add to this a constant revolving door of directors for the project, and their regrown hatred for Barker and his writing well.

Eventually Clive Barker learned the lesson of going back to your ex and expecting different results. The two parted ways, but the studio continued selling people on the remake. Even though Clive was no longer attached and Doug Bradley left with him. They thought this would buy them time and interest. It did neither. They ran Hellraiser into direct to video hell, and without the original creator the interest that was there was quickly deflated.

Time was running out and the studio couldn’t keep lying about the remake moving forward.

They were getting desperate and found themselves floundering. They obviously didn’t think to give Clive his property back and count their losses. Instead they decided on a new course. Since people caught on with their forcing Hellraiser into other established work, and they didn’t want  that bogging things down for them again. They decided to actually have someone write an entirely new and original Hellraiser story.  

For this they turned to the one man who stayed with this franchise through all its trials and tribulations. The lead special effects man Gary Tunnincliffe. The same guy they had work an entire movie for free, and turned a tent in Romania into a heated work shop for his effects team. This guy had been a fan of Hellraiser since he started working in film and dreamed of working on these films. So he always stuck around, and now he had the chance to write out a script and direct.

The studio told him to give them a shootable, complete script for a new totally original Hellraiser film, on the smallest budget yet. Between $300 and $400 thousand dollars.

The man would have the lowest budget of any of the Hellraiser films to date, and he wrote a script in seven fucking days.

Welcome to Hellraiser Revolutions.

The story

Fuck me for having to do this all over again.

Alright so the movie is about two wealthy entitled teenagers who head off to Mexico for partying, drugs and prostitutes, the usual things that bring people to Tijuana. The boys come across the puzzle box and end up missing. Their rich families grieve them for some reason no one can make sense of. A grieving sister goes through her brothers belongings recovered by the police and she finds the puzzle box. As well as his camcorder which she watches as does the family. Watching little bro lose his lady friend to Neco, Seeing him banging prostitutes, drinking, doing drugs the whole shebang. Well During family dinner Trying to forget what their little baby boy did in Tijuana, Steven magically appears stating “Did somebody say yoga?” and the family is overjoyed while having a ton of questions.

The story begins to drift between a semi remake of the original and found footage. Eventually it comes to their attention, most noticeably you’d think his sister, when her brother suddenly is trying to fuck her and this, though reminiscent of their summer together with their parents away wasn’t entirely a new concept. It was rather unwelcome and doubt settles in on Steven being a good child.

The found footage angle serves as flashbacks in the film letting us know exactly what happened. That as stated while the boys are living it up in Tijuana they meet a sexy lady, and kill her, accidentally. They cover it up, come across the most laughable salesmen with the puzzle box and hell follows. The guardian of the box is only. I repeat. Only funny if you have ever watched the Tales from the Crypt movie Bordello of Blood. Because it’s a damn spot on impersonation of the guy in the bar repeating the same lines nightly to everyone “ I know a place where you can get the best gaaaaaawdamn piece of ass in the whole gaaaawwwddamn world. They got girls that’ll do things there ain’t even names for”

Once you see it you can’t unsee it and it’s the only thing I enjoyed watching this movie because it gives you an excuse to stop watching this and watch Bordello of Blood instead.

So obviously Steven is not really Steven and it begins to become painfully clear. Outside of trying to fuck his sister, there’s just a lot not right with him, so yes. Steven is not Steven, he’s Nico wearing Stevens skin.

Which is where we get the filler of the story.

While in Tijuana we learn the truth that Nico solved the box and got dragged off to hell. Being a child of privilege he was not dealing well with the pain and tortures of hell. So he strike sup a deal with Temu Pinhead and request a way back to earth, promising him souls in exchange for this. Steven  finding it easier to kill another Tijuana hooker after the shock of his first time wears off, does so again. Only this time it brings Nico back, skinless and sucking the blood off the dead hooker. So he finds more bodies for his buddy. Until Nico tares off Stevens skin, kills him and sends him off to Pinhead.

The longer Nico is here and so far avoiding giving Pinhead his souls. The more hell starts to come for him to collect. Doing so in the form of the guardian who tares the face off one of the dads and forces the family to believe “not” Steven that people called cenobites are coming.

So yes Steven not being Steven gives us the twist the movie would ultimately have, because Dimension still loves those, and to mirror the twist in the original Hellraiser with Frank taking the skin of his brother.

So with the cat out of the bag and Nico holding the family hostage with a shotgun, we move into the final acts of the film. Which are Nico sacrificing the family to escape his hell and honor the bargain.

Just as the family is gathered for a nice game of Scrabble, Nico shoots dad in the belly and Nico decides then too spills out their secrets which don’t really matter at this point. The film decides to give us another twist. Again. As we learn that yes as previously shown Nico stole Steve’s skin. But he didn’t kill Steven He left him to bleed out and die. Giving Steven enough time to solve the puzzle box himself. Does he strike a counter deal to swiftly undo what Nico did and therefor drag HIM to hell?

No. That would make sense. Instead Steven opened the puzzle box and was made into a mindless cenobite. With pins in his head, given by Temu Pinhead, which hold patches of flesh to his body. Like a human flesh puzzle.

So the big climax is the family opening the box and hell coming to their living room. Nico does not look thrilled as he meant to sacrifice Steven’s sister to the cenobites but things are a bit changed. Or he’s just pissing himself having seen his torturer pals return.

What happens is the clumsiest and funniest thing you could have ever hoped for but never imagined in a Hellraiser film.

So Emma, Stevens sister is to be given to hell. Got it. Nico had her open the box so they’d take her. Got it. Hell arrives ready for collection time. Perfect

Then hell gets hit with California retardation.

The entire California family is understandably scared and confused. Nico’s mom has questions. She is told by Pinhead to literally shut the fuck up unless she wants to die.

So she lets them know Nico forced Emma to solve the puzzle box. Pinhead gives her a Dolemite “Bitch are you for real?” and uses chains to tare her throat open.

OF COURSE THEY KNOW WHO OPENED THE FUCKING BOX! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SHUT UP!

But the cenobites don’t want Emma. They want Nico. Pinhead declares their deal void. Because Nico cheated them.

Did I skip the part where he did this? No. I didn’t It isn’t explained to us so lets go over it shall we? Nico made a deal to bring Pinhead a soul or souls. In exchange for his life. Steven helped in resurrecting him. He offered Steven as a soul to Pinhead. Apparently though. Wearing Stevens skin, pretending to be someone he wasn’t voided the deal? Officially according to the original script and story, yes. When he faked being Steven that, apparently voided the deal.

So Pinhead lets them all know he has what they wanted. They got Nico and he’s off with them for an eternity of torture. Nico’s father decides to shoot Nico in the chest declaring, “No one gets to kill you but me.” Nico thanks him and dies.

Pinhead gives the most what the fuck look to the dying dad, explaining to him in painfully over acted wide eye acting that they were LITERALLY about to walk out and let them all be. But no, the dad had to fuck it up for his own self worth and take their victim away. So as payment Pinhead decides to take his wife. Who gets to be dragged off with hooks in her face idly screaming. Shortly after this and realizing his mistake, the dad dies from his earlier gun shot wound to the belly. Leaving Emma their daughter alive and contemplating solving the box because her simple mind just can’t leave well enough alone.

This is how the film ends. This family could have let the evil guy, who killed the real Steven go off to Hell. But not a single one of them could show any self control and everyone died for it.

So lets get into this already.

I genuinely dislike the movie and everything it became. However I applaud the fact they actually went with an original idea instead of taking another property they owned and retooling it. That is honestly the biggest shocker of the film. But even then. It shows a pattern that Dimension never could really break free of, and ultimately I think lead to the studios own downfall.

They couldn’t keep themselves from the apple pie by the window. It smells so good, looks great. You know how its going to taste still warm and if you pair it with ice cream? Forget about it that’s gonna be amazing. But if you cut into it too soon, the insides will pour out and turn to mash. It’s a runny mess, it won’t be the apple pie you saw in your mind and remembered having before. You gotta let it cool down, the filling needs to thicken, and the crust needs to form. They just kept meddling and these films paid the price.

As much as I dislike this movie, it shows something the others didn’t which was the possibility in investing your film with an whole original story.

Had this movie been handled the way they were handling it when the reboot/remake was still a possibility? It would have turned out differently. You can see that if you watch the movie(which I don’t encourage) and you look at the story beats. There is something there in its concept. But the execution is perversely lacking.

When the script was pinned, it was rushed and finished in a week as we said at the start. Had they refined the script, did some rewrites it would have a better chance to find itself. Things would have been clearer, like Nico’s screwing up the deal with the cenobites. With how Steven was handled, and even the actor taking over for Pinhead. But as it was, the studio self sabotaged the production for the sake and only the sake of holding onto the property rights.

The man who wrote this and came up with the story they immediately greenlit, Tunnicliffe. He wanted to also direct the picture. The studio said no. He was slated to direct Scream 4 and they weren’t going to allow him to break away and film Hellraiser. Instead they hired a new and younger director Victor Garcia. Victor was faced with a nightmare.

Victor was given specific instructions by the studio that explain perfectly why this was a mess to understand. All the time Dimension wasted on trying for a remake, then lying about it still happening to buy themselves time before the contract would expire? Did not work. So they were edging closer and closer to that dreadful moment Clive Barker would once again own his property. This meant the shoot would be draft locked. The director was told three things. You have a none negotiable budget of $300,000. You have 11 days to film this so no script rewrites, no dialog changes, nothing. You shoot what you have. Period.

$300,000 for a horror film. Especially an effects heavy film is insultingly obtuse. It basically means no special effects at even the barest of margins. No second takes or reshoots. You had to produce results and if you couldn’t? Cut it and move on. This is why the film is often said to look like a fan made film. Because it isn’t too far off.

The studio still, like it had the previous two films, shown no interest being involved with this film either. The closest they got however. Was when they attempted using what they hoped remained from Clive Barkers earlier good will. When all it took was Clive calling up Doug for him to say he’d full on sign up to play Pinhead for a Barker written reboot? They thought why not see if he still might be up for another Hellraiser. Surely if he was that quick to sign on for Barker, he might be willing to sign on for this?

He was willing to hear them out.

They sent him the script, he asked where the rest of it was, assuming this was a draft. He was informed no, that was the entire script. It would remain unchanged. They also told him the films budget and what his pay for it would be. No one knows how low the pay was the offered him. But between the budget being $300k, and the fact when they told him on top of the poorly done script? It was enough he hung up on them and again walked away from ever working with the studio again. The only thing Doug would ever say about that call and their offer was that it was an insulting slap in the face.

Mind you this is the same studio who cut his pay drastically on the last two films and he put up with it, and the same studio that forced an entire effects team to work without pay expecting their work to be on the big screen. Like an abusive relationship they figure you’ll keep putting up with it until you surprise them and yourself by sticking by your no and go to hell you deliver to them.

Because of this news, of course. That meant the studio had to struggle to find a new Pinhead once again at the last minute. Enter our new Pinhead Stephan Collins. I give the man credit, standing in to fill the shoes of a largely established character, knowing your face would now replace theirs on the poster. It takes balls to do that and the actor deserves kudos for stepping up. As his hiring was last minute the man had zero time to prepare for the role. He’d wanted to study Bradleys past performances. He wanted to get into the character and come up with something to deliver in front of the cameras. No time. He went in with zero preparations, doing everything for the first time the very moment cameras rolled.

To top it off with the extreme budget cuts to the production. This immediately hurt the key department that needed it and he would spend his days with. The effects department. With Tunnicliffe off directing Scream 4, he had nothing to do with the effects during filming, his crew was in charge of prosthetics. They did the best with what they didn’t have. Given the same rules from Romania applied here now with his film, they had to get it all done the day of or night before. It had to work the first time otherwise cut it and move on. So without screen testing the makeup, just immediately modeling and gluing prosthetics. Pinhead looked like, well yeah. Temu Pinhead. The prosthetics made him look chubby and short. His outfit wasn’t properly fitted to him and more so than the last two films you could tell the neck was foam painted black. This movie was known to all fans and viewers as ‘the shit pinhead’ film. None of the effects were stellar or sub standard. They once again employed the cheapest tricks of filming. One of them, if you care to play the pause and click through frames. Was the shotgun blast. Usually on a film for this they would use squibs. Little controlled explosives with a blood pack. In cheaper productions they would do what is the best guess from this one given what we saw. A precut hole in the fabric of the shirt, with a tube filled with fake blood, dried latex to simulate guts and flesh. Blown out using a compressor. A friend of mine her friends did a crime film as a project and for their gunshot effect they loaded up a tube on a shop vac with the same type mixture and fired it out at the actor. Causing a large blood splatter and viscera. It’s dirty but effective if you edit it just right.

And the effects department really did their best. One of the more meh kills they did what they could on was Nico’s mom and her torn open throat. They did a close up of her screaming and used a quick cut to show the chains flying out toward her. Before another cut  where we see her neck flayed open already leaking blood. When you focus in on that prosthetic?  There’s no detail in the throat like previous films. It’s a slab of flesh pulled back, looking wet and pouring out thinned blood. In a quick cut it could work. But it lingered enough once you see it, it loses its effect. Even skinless Nico was done as best they could. They had enough to do a hand neck and face for a skinless suit. The rest they covered up in bandages and kept him in the dark. It’s not nearly as much a sin as the others or how Pinhead turned out. But it is still worth noting.

And as bad as Pinhead looked. Which he genuinely did. Stven looked worse. His expression was comical and face was just. Having worked with prosthetics and made my own. It really did look like someone bought a spirit Halloween scar kit and just lathered on blood gel.

As an aside, if you felt sick while watching this movie? There’s a very good reason for that. The fim with its zero time for anything schedule literally meant the crew had no time to setup proper lighting let alone dolly shots and even tripods. They often had to rely on hand cam shots. They didn’t have the usual lenses to change out for scenes either. Everything was done on the spot and added to the fan film look and feel. This is also why the filmmakers decided to heavily lean into the found film gimmick of the story. What looked shit on camera and they couldn’t properly film and light? Now became found footage. Which is also why the cenobites were somehow caught on camera that survived the encounter in hell where as before they remained unseen to all but the person who solved the box.

Given all of this, its easy to imagine why the editor when given all this said putting this film together was less about crafting a story and more about meeting the legal definition of a feature film. With only one take per scene, no alternate angles or reshoots. The editor had to find a way to make it tell a story, the effects to not look shit, and fine the tone. Meatloaf taught us that two out of three ain’t bad. And this man was earning his paycheck. What little of it there would be.  The hand cam shots for found footage were erratic and what you would expect. But it was somehow better than the equally shaky off balance film of the rest of the movie. The editor turned over what he pieced together to make Hellraiser Revelations, and handed it to the studio.

They shit themselves.

The movie wasn’t just bad, it was unwatchable. I mean, what do you expect? For the cost and filming for 11 days. One take shots only. It’s insane. So the studio decided drastic measures were needed. Dire even. Because they decided this could not be released. Without reshoots. Gasp. Audible gasp!

They approved 3 days of additional reshoots months later to attempt making the plot more readable and the effects bloodier and more effective.

This caused a new group of fun problems.

When you shoot a film past the low end of cheap. It’s going to look cheap. Even more so when you can’t even setup your shots. So when you order reshoots, and give them the time they didn’t originally have?  It becomes a student film. The zombie film I was in. They used a camcorder from Wallmart for 70% of the film Once a friend of the director got approved using his student discount to rent a canon film camera. They used the shit out of it. They had the same problem. You had a film that was mostly absolute dog shit looking with low light quality and a barely balanced camera. Mixed in with shots that looked like you hired an art student to use thousand dollar and up lenses.

I mean shit even I’ve done that for class projects at the art institute. With my discount I felt like a big dick swinging photographer carrying a back full of over $12,000 worth of lenses. I made the choice to dump my original photos and shoot the ever loving shit out of everything with those lenses.

This production didn’t have that option. So they ended up with exactly what we got. A patch worked mess of quality and no quality with untested makeup, shit lighting and. Well just shit.

Nothing was going to salvage this and the studio new this. But it didn’t matter. In the end? They had their completed film.

However, they would not be able to meet their deadline for the contract. Even with the film finished and ready for distribution. The end of their contract would come at the end of March. The film wouldn’t be available on home video for distribution until October. Clive Barker was on the verge of having his abused property returned to him.

This lead the studio to something that even Tommy Wiseau would have to give props too , and fuck it the man did but on a bigger scale.

One of the loopholes to retaining the property. Was they had to prove the franchise was an active theatrical project. To do this, and beat the clock on home video release. They setup and reserved a one night screening in a theater.

It was designated as a cast and crew screening WITH, have to but a big caveat on with for this. A private cast and crew screening, with tickets available to the public.  They did not advertise this. The theater didn’t marque anywhere that the film would be there. You would have to walk up to the ticket window, ask what was showing and ask for Hellraiser. No one in the public showed up, only a handful of cast members bothered to show up.

But. By having released the film in theaters, even if just one, and having listed the tickets as publicly available. They met the criteria for a theatrically released active film project and they retained the property for a few more years.

Unfucking believable.

They did it though. They knew this film was a disaster and that fans would immediately turn on it. More so than the last two because this time it was an original. It replaced the one person that kept the small group of fans coming, and the new guy didn’t have the voice or the look to measure up with Bradley. So they spent a few hundred dollars to rent a room out for 2 hours, to save themselves a at one time multi-million dollar franchise asset. While dumping the unwatchable shit show that was Revelations onto store shelves. With no advertising. Why throw money at a disaster? The only thing that proved this film existed and would be on shelves, was a very hastily cut together terrible trailer they put online.

It has become an almost right of passage now for fans to grow angry with these last 3 releases. It was common now that when the next new Hellraiser came out, and we all saw what they did, reaching new levels of shit no one could have imagined possible but they somehow achieved. It didn’t lead to hating a bad movie. It lead to vicious rage fueled rants condemning the studio. Disowning the film in every conceivable way and an early example of review bombing. Not just trashing the shit show that was the zero effort film. But airing out every bit of behind the scenes news they could find telling the world what an abysmal thing this was and the studio behind it was driving it to be.

Stephan Collins earned the nickname Pillsbury Pinhead. Online fans said even the shittiest fan films looked better than this and told a better story. Which they unfortunately were right about from the examples shown online.

This film was also the one that gave us the opening line I used from Clive Barker himself. His tweet about the film declaring “I want to put on record that the flic out there using the word Hellraiser IS NO FUCKING CHILD OF MINE! I have NOTHING to do with the fuckin’ thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.”

The truly sad irony of all of this, in the end? Was that critics, and fans. All of them agreed on one thing. The plot for the first time in 4 films was the closest Dimension had ever gotten to producing an actual Hellraiser film. Until they demonstrated it was made as a tax right off to keep the franchise from its creator. Everyone was tired of asking the same question I keep posing here as well. Why do this? For what purpose? How would it retain any value when you just openly keep shitting on it and its fans? Why hold onto it when all you do is burn it down and by pure actual magic find new ways to make it worse and more disowned.

Fuck you is why.

We are on the edge right now as I write this, of passing 100 pages. I have written 100 pages on Hellraiser and we have one more film to go into. This is insane but I am here for it and I also want to be free of this. Because I know what is next, and it’s not worth it. At all. Even for the sake of reviewing it’s just not worth it and this is like revisiting old war memories. I’m remembering the PTSD as a fan, watching these knowing they would be shit but wanting to see just how shit. But not imagining it could ever be that boldly terrible and hollow. The worst is finally here and we will go through it. For the last and final time I’m going to watch Hellraiser Judgement and then I will return to a world where it does not matter or exist in any way.

Let’s fucking go

Hellraiser Judgement.

This title is honestly fitting for the end of this whole month long dive into 4 franchises, and naturally the end of Dimensions run on Hellraiser. Everything involved with Judgement is, was. Well.

I had to do a lot of double checking and making sure I wasn’t going insane. Because a lot of events seemed to repeat from the previous film To a point it honestly felt like someone used ai to muddle up a story and it glitched out repeating itself. As it turns out. Dimension just never, ever learned, and the were creatures of habit.

It had been seven years since Hellraiser Revelations showed its face to the world and asses collectively shit over its pinned gaping face. The Weinsteins were once again faced with the reality they needed another Hellraiser film before the rights would revert back to Clive. For free.

So once again they began their quest to keep the rights and push out another production. The result of which, would not only be their last outing in the Hellraiser franchise. But the end of a long past its due era. Having binged through each one of these movies again it is genuinely sad. Nearly heartbreaking when you watch the steady decline in quality after Bloodline. But if you shift over to Dimensions Halloween films, you see a maintained quality. Shitty sequels for sure. But they never went straight to video and they never shoved Michael into a crime drama.

Judgement would take a few bold steps, which feels a little too late given what they’d done to the franchise up to this point. It also marked another actor taking the place of Bradley in yet another attempted Pinhead.

There is, one thing.

And only one, I will grant this film and it’s the closest I will give to something considered ‘credit’ for this film. It’s the fact that the film actually felt like someone read the Hellraiser comics from the 90’s and tried adapting some of its lore and material to film. That is the only near kindness I will give this piece of liquid burning shit.

So in that spirit, like I say aloud whenever I need to vomit up dragon fire(acid reflux) let’s get this fucking over with.

The story

We begin with as I mentioned, the one and only thing this film seemed to try. We are introduced to the director and long time torch bearer of the franchise, head of special effects Gary Tunnicliffe. He plays a new face In hells bureaucracy, The Auditor. He explains to the audience how Hell has had to adapt to the new world and things aren’t the way they used to be. Because of cellphones, the internet and meme culture. People no longer go out seeking puzzle boxes. You can desensitize yourself online without seeking the Lament configuration. So this has forced hell to run their soul taring business through a halfway house.

Yes. Hell lures sinners now to a run down shack in a ghetto, where they hold court. Basically the ‘sinner’ has the choice of making it easy and confessing their sins or they are forced from them. The Auditor uses his steampunk typewriter to type out all of their largest sins committed on earth in their life time. The pages are then given to a new bureaucrat, The Assessor. An obese man who pulls out a plate and utensils. Douses the papers in the tears of children, because it’s basically A1 to bureaucrats. And hell. He devours the tear marinated papers and promptly vomits them up into a nearby funnel attached to the wall. A wall which has our Jury. Three mostly naked Suicide girl model rejects missing bits of their faces but not their tits. These ladies move from kneeling to standing, walking 3 feet just to kneel again at a trough holding the fresh vomit, dig their hands in it like its apple sauce and declare a verdict for the sinner. Once he is found guilty the sinner is restrained on a bed, where the naked ladies violently strip him, and return to kneeling. And a leather clad man enters the  room reenacting a scene from Ace Venture When Nature Calls. Carrying a large leather backpack that contains a leather bound gas mask wearing gimp. Who leaps onto our sinner and slashes him comically with oversized crescent blades, which manage to perfectly remove the mans skin in one piece.

The idea then being once the sinner is found guilty and stripped of flesh. They are then sent to hell where the King of hell sits on his throne and awaits his new victim. The king of course is Pinhead.

Who appears to be bored and that is something you’ll have to get used too. Because its his only purpose in the film. To be bored and restless.

The movie learned what happens last time when you let things get boring. So its time to introduce the main plot of the film. An entirely original concept. A detective story! Yes we have a detective story where a grizzly detective is trying to solve a serial murder case hunting down a killer known as The Preacher, another original story idea in a cop drama, the Preacher, another entirely Dimension films original concept, a serial killer who kills people who break the ten commandments.

You knew what this was when you rented it. And I chose to watch this a second time.

So our duo of detective junior crime fighters, Sean and David Carter track down every lead they can on this elusive not at all a twist ending incoming killer. Eventually the investigation leads Sean to the run down shamble shack Hell is paying rent on. Once he enters their domicile, the Auditor captures Sean and begins auditing the mans since. Which he doesn’t hide. The man begins getting everything off his chest like Chunk in the Goonies. We go through the same process as before. Type down sins, feed fat man the paper salad with a dash of child tears. Only this time as he attempts to eat the sins, he ends up choking on them and vomiting black goo. Which the suicide girl hopeful rejects don’t care for at all. The auditor is confused by the fat man choking on sins. Either this man is a bad ass in the world of sinners or there are other things afoot.

Which there are. We now enter the next part of a confusing story. The auditor is visited by an angel from Heaven, working as a Metatron of sorts, her name is Jophiel. She has come down from Heavan into Hells hood house to tell them, chill the fuck out and let the detective go. The man has a get out of hell free card from the G man himself. The auditor has some issues with this but decides to take it up with his bossman. Pinhead is bored, still, and decides he’ll come check out this man who entered Hells hood and figure out why the man upstairs has plans for him. Unfortunately while swallowing the spit of three naked tattoo’d ladies with daddy issues and one beautiful bush. He managed to escape and the ladies are dead or taking a very awkward nap on the floor. Pinhead takes a small nibble of the mans sins and determines it’s cool. They can chill out and do what Heavan wants while the man does his thing. He’ll be back and they can get answers then.

Mildly confused and wondering why he got a semi chubby after swallowing goth girl spit, Sean continues his investigation. Leading into yet another first for Hellraiser, a cop suffering hallucinations as reality and illusions combine and cenobites start visiting him at odd moments in his day to day.  But it doesn’t stop him and the junior detective squad from slowing down their investigation.

Which is HEATING UP!! Yes they are close to finding who the Preacher is and ending his reign of holy terror on the city.

Leading us to yet another entirely original film trick of Dimension, as we soon discover who The Preacher is that’s been killing in the name of the ten commandments. The Preacher is Sean! Who knew it! A surprise twist!!

So yes Sean is the Preacher, and his is planning on his next poetic biblically charged murder. His brother and his wife. Apparently he discovered his wife banged his brother, thus adultery, thus our final deadly sin…I mean tenth commandment killing. Only Sean is going to kick things up a notch, instead of killing them in the name of gods divine law. He decides to have his cheating wife and slut brother solve the box. In yet another original idea, he is going to offer these two up as replacements for himself. Let them go sit in a stuffy room getting audited for hours.

Pinhead finally gets to speak more than a single sentence and very nearly begins doing an “We’re not so different you and I” speech, until our resident angel leaves Heavan once more and commands Pinhead to let Sean go.

It’s played off genuinely like that scene in a typical cop film where the local police get upset and ask ‘Just what the hell is going on here, who are you!” and the //angel pulls out a much larger badge and tells the local cop “We’re taking over this investigation, orders from upstairs, take it up with your boss.” And we now have an angel and demon king playing jurisdictional games.  Pinhead just wants to rip and tare, while Jophiel is hear to keep the man alive and doing what he’s doing.

Yes, that is the angels official from God statement to Pinhead. God, wants Sean, to go around killing sinners. Pinhead and the auditor can continue judging sinners. Because the Preacher is striking fear in people, because of killing sinners, while Hell is taking care of even more sinners directly. So with sinning being a killable offense again. People are praying and going to church more. Taking up religion as a protection from murder. Which makes God happy. As Jophiel explains to Pinhead, good cannot exist without evil, and Heavan learned that evil is much easier to deal with and control, when you’re the one in charge of the evil.

Pinhead, is still bored. He finally got a chance to get off his throne of stone and show off his tattered rag robe. He gets to talk to someone who doesn’t have a featureless face with a stitched mouth, or another suicide girl going over their long list of mental health issues and all the medication they’re taking.

Upset by Heavan telling him what to do. Pinhead kills Sean. Jophiel is miffed by this and warns Pinhead he is going against gods design and this will not stand.

Jophiel is an angelic white girl that stepped into Hells hood and she’s acting a fool, talking all kinds of mad shit. So Pinhead slaps her through the throat with a chain and tells her to shut up and get out of his domicile.

With that we get comical. God is upset now that his murderer  we got him several more followers on tiktok is dead, his angel who managed his socials is now dead. So its time to drop a google doc on Pinhead. God, crumbles down the walls of hells house, and strips Pinhead down of all his leather, all his little pins, and punishes him by…making Pinhead a human being. Living in Detroit. We see Pinhead screaming in torment and this banishment from hell as its king, now living as a mortal, having to collect food stamps and find work at the job center.

Meanwhile the director steps back in as the auditor and we see him continuing to work, readying his typewriter to assess another soul. Letting us now that Hell keeps going on, and Pinhead is one of us.

There’s your Hellraiser Judgement.

Firstly. Lets celebrate the fact this is the last one we have to go through. The last time we have a detective, a man suffering problems of the mind and hallucinations. The last time we have a micro budget Hellraiser released on a medium that is being forcefully removed more and more each day.

Seriously lets actually celebrate the studio going with an original story that wasn’t a pre-existing property they shoe horned Pinhead into.

As for what happened with this film? There’s a lot, and it borders on making you feel you are in Hellraiser Inferno, experiencing déjà vu.

Like genuinely it’s going to feel really fucking familiar and possibly funny. But I promise you leave this place with the same amount of sanity you arrived with.

To begin with that familiar sound, the studio realized they needed to pump out another Hellraiser to keep the rights. Thankfully they didn’t end up like last time, working with Clive on a remake and lying about working on a remake before pushing hard for an 11 day shoot to shit out a movie that barely could fall under that.

Instead the decided to work with Clive barker on another remake/reboot of Hellraiser.

Yes. This happened.

Twice.

Yes Clive approached them after Hellworld about doing a big budget darker remake of the original, and yes they lied to him and ultimately ghosted him. Losing Clive and the return of Doug Bradley. Yes Clive turned his back on them.

And yes, Clive Barker talked to them AGAIN about ANOTHER reboot.

The studio was at a standstill and things were looking dire, again for them. Bob Weinstein was the one who approached Clive. He requested a face-to-face with Barker. Weinstein promised Barker this time they would really work with him. He would have creative say. They said he could write it and this time. The film would honor the design and lore, the look of his original. It would be a big budget theatrical release. Once again Clive made two demands. Bring Back Doug Bradley as Pinhead, and absolutely no CGI of any kind.

They agreed and Clive began writing his new Hellraiser.

His story took place still in the 1700’s like he wanted. But instead of France and honoring the Bloodline LeMarchand story. It would take place on Devil’s Island. LeMarchand would be a prisoner forced to solve and open the puzzle box. Which would introduce us to Pinhead. They would do away with his human story as Elliot Spencer. Giving us the idea Pinhead really has been at this for centuries. The film would shift over to the familiar family from the first one, this time taking place in Massachusetts. In this iteration Frank did not die and gain resurrection when the family moved in. This time around Kirsty is living with her father and step mother. Frank is a fugitive on the run and hides in their attic. He and Julie begin their affair and Frank eventually solves the box being torn apart.

Pinhead went through a major makeover as well. He would look more like he was portrayed later on, wearing white robes instead of the traditional black leather. He didn’t use hooks and chains on his victims but instead rapidly grown vines with deadly thorns. He had more freedom this time around as well, much like the books. Pinhead was only visible to those who opened the box, to the rest of the world you were screaming at nothing. He could appear whenever he wanted and torment you before taking you.

He also had new cenobites which he would create himself organically. Having reached the Hell Priest stature he would do this regularly. In the film Clive had him summon a deadly mist near a maternity ward, killing newborns and using them to form an obese gelatinous blob of a cenobite constructed of baby flesh he named, Bloat. Another would be a reanimated corpse from a hospital morgue he would turn into a hook wielding demon. This was much more in line with the dark visions he had and released with his Tortured Souls line. One figure I still have packed away because I fell in love with its grotesque beauty. It was a man with his face stretched back by dozens of wires with a womb inserted into his stomach baring a demon child inside. His body supported my medical hooks and bars. This was a much darker Hellraiser and he was not holding back. He intended to show the world what his creation could be and would be again versus what Dimension had sold.

He delivered his script to Dimension and they trashed it immediately. Just like last time.

He promised Barker at least a $20 million dollar budget theatrical release. That was a lie. The entire face to face meeting Bob had with Barker was a lie. He kissed Barkers ass and promised him any and everything he could want or need for his Hellraiser. With no intention of ever delivering. Because Bob was interested in saving their studio and doing to Barker exactly what they’d done to their crew over the past few productions. He used their olive branch meeting to drum up interest for the film for international buyers. To get fans to quiet their hate and give them the illusion their master would be finally returning to the helm, and so would Doug Bradley. He promised a big budget theatrical film and total studio compliance. All while in the background the studio was already fine tuning the script they fully intended on going with, written by, directed by and staring Tunnicliffe.

See back when Hellworld was being pitched, Tunnicliffe gave them a story he wrote called Enter Darkness. Like Hellbound Hellraiser 2 it would take place in a psychiatric hospital. It’s a completely original horror idea where a group of interns were studying a group of patients who all shared identical nightmares about a puzzle box and demons. Yes it was Dream Warriors meets Hellraiser. Which then completely ripped off Hellbound by including a lead doctor who would take all their shared experiences to summon a cenobite himself.

Dimension loved the idea and shelved it for the time. It sounded like something that could potentially fill their remake slot. So in their vault on a shelf it sat. While they made Hellworld.

Once Hellworld came out and Tunnicliffe saw the end result and how cheap they were with it. He decided to write a script he called Judgement. It would be  not feature pinhead, or a puzzlebox.It would be Hellraiser like in the same sense that Bad Robot created the Cloverfield Universe. Like the comics it would focus on a Bureaucracy of hell that were completely different than the cenobites. He even tried financing the film without Dimension, feeling he might be able to grow a better budget than Dimension would’ve given him to do it. He took it to Kickstarter and hoped fans would start throwing money. No one did.

So he did what he knew ultimately dimension would tell him to do. He rewrote the script himself, adding Pinhead in along side his new characters, the Auditor, Assessor, and the suicide girl hopeful rejects. He pitched this script to Dimension. As it was with the bible story. He was denied three times.

The man did all the work for them destroying his standalone film and they turned him down. They insisted on him making instead his original Hellraiser Enter Darkness. Which he was not thrilled about. He believed. With his soul, that Judgement was better, fresher and would serve as the drops of blood to bring Hellraiser back through its bloodied mattress.  

He believed SO strongly in it, that he made them a deal. He would rewrite the script for Judgement, exactly how they would want it, and if they liked it. He would get to direct it. If they hated it? Then he would not only do the movie they wanted, he would direct it for free. Dimension said sure fuck it why not. Apparently his rewrite. Which we just watched, for the second fucking time in my life which is two times too many. Apparently it was enough for Dimension to give in and let him make his vision.

Which he was polishing up, and beginning to ready for production. While Dimension was busy lying to Barker a second time, ghosting him a final time, and lying to fans for the last time.

Now for the record. Tunnicliffe isn’t a bad guy. He was in a way the Moustafa Akkad of hellraiser. Just without the authority. Whether he knew or didn’t know about the meetings with Barker and their bullshit deal we don’t know. But we do know he repeated history again. Once Barker left for good this time, he and the studio approached Doug Bradley. Again.

Now last time Bradley was insulted by their offer and the terrible script. Tunnicliffe called Doug himself this time, not the studio. He felt bad for him and had told Bradley how he hated the fact the very last time anyone would see him as Pinhead, is tied to him saying the line “How’s that for a wakeup call.” He told him this time would be different. He could course correct Pinhead and there would be no one liner bullshit. Doug said alright, he’d be interested in reading the script.

The studio sent him a multi-page NDA again threatening $1 million in liability if he ever talked about the script. Mentioned the film in any way whether he’d do it or or not at conventions. Private conventions, Any way shape or form online. All this to see the script, and then another for the production of the film.

Bradley told them given how badly Revelations turned out, he was not going to  go into this blindly signing a document before even seeing a script, and given what happened in Revelations coupled with their treatment of his close friend Clive. He declined it all together.

Which begs the question of did the studio even intend to hire him or did they just lie to Tunnicliffe to get him happy to finally direct and write his big film.

So once again, the film would move on without Clive or Doug, the audience was given another false flag of hope which I genuinely don’t know how anybody could believe a word Dimension said.

History was repeating itself, however something new was afoot that signaled a ripple in the waters around the studio. Clive was done with them and their bullshit. He wasn’t just lied too, he was used. Instead of walking away and disowning the series and studio. Clive went silent. If relationships have taught me anything, and I could pass this basic logical lesson on to anyone. When your partner gets upset over something you see no big deal over. If there response is to go silent, and continue on with their routine? You fucked up. You didn’t just mess up, you didn’t do something wrong. You just straight as hell fucked up, and what was coming would not be something you’d want to be any part of and your best course of action is to immediately throw yourself at their mercy. Or open the ark of the covenant and stare right at it. So Clive kept quiet, and watched, waited for the film to come out and do what it would inevitably do. Then he would have something definitive to say.

For now, it’s time for the studio to do what they do best. Getting exactly what they wanted, so they can fuck it up as hard as they could.

So they fought hard for the script the director no longer cared for, and part of me thinks even if straight to video at least it would have possibly been better than Judgement was. But then I am reminded no matter what, the Weinsteins just have this odd behavior where even when they get something they’re happy with. They meddle with it unnecessarily, they lie and cut corners they didn’t need too, and just…honestly do every dishonest thing they can to a point you wonder what they even liked with the thing to begin with since they just destroy it in the end. Well the same happened here even with them liking and being sold on the new story Tunnicliffe gave them. However when they reviewed footage he’d shared with them to show how the film was going and showed off what he planned to be the near climax of the movie, the big inquisition scene with the fat man who had been judged and skinned. Well the Weinsteins thought it was way too weird for a slasher film and something they felt people wouldn’t understand and again would just be too weird for them. So they told him to massively cut down the far longer scene. Move it to the beginning of the film and use it as an intro.

Normally that not be such a big thing. But this was the big pay off scene of his narrative. The film as he shot it was a slow burn building up to the Auditor, assessor and judgement tit trio. So cutting that sequence down from apparently a near 20 minute sequence, which was mostly dialogue free, down to the first 12 minutes. His character had much more dialogue explain hells filing system and the typing of sins, how they weight them and their ‘judging’ process. The scene we got later with the detective being licked or, cleaned. That happened in this scene originally and was a hell of a lot longer. The girls were also drenched in blood during the scene. It was too much so they took it out. Had the women walk out in leather thongs and lick the detective vs the fat man we see in the beginning. Cleaning his flesh and gathering the filth in spit form.

It’s one of those when you hear it and think about all of it we kind of are better off without it. But again what we got instead well. It’s a game of would you rather that no one really wins playing.

This was only the start though. The Weinsteins really wanted to keep with forcing Hellraiser to be the thing no one wanted it to be, it could not be and they desperately tried making it be. A slasher. Because of that they would constantly meddle in the story to give a higher body count. Anything that would satisfy there slasher kick. This was why the go-nowhere boring and repeated story of cops investigating odd murders was shoved into the story. It gave them an excuse for adding more bodies to the death count even if we didn’t see them die,

This also meant they could pad out the run time of the film by adding police procedural scenes. Investigating crime scenes. Leads, crime photos. Hunting the Preacher etc.

They had to do something with all the lore they cut out, and the auditor and his crew being cut down further. Even the female detective we didn’t mention in the synopsis. Because she genuinely didn’t add a damn thing to the film or its story, Christine Egerton. She was a result of rewrites and the studio wanting their traditional slasher trope of a final girl. She was a last minute addition which is why her character is barely there, and makes just as quick of an exit.

I joked about the film being a rip off of the film Seven. The sad reality though, is the studio actually instructed Tunnicliffe to rip off Seven! No shit they honestly told him to do that. See in his original film the murderer was an auditor of sorts. He was a semi Hannibal like capable, methodical serial killer. Who targeted people with deep hidden crimes. Killers walking among us types. He would audit these people judging them and inflicting cruel justice that the courts would never as no one knew of them(mostly) The detective was a psychologically broken man who used his position to hunt down criminals they couldn’t lawfully arrest and punish. So when he is pulled into the halfway house of hell, the gluttonous man who choked on and vomited black goo when devouring his sins didn’t even do that in the original. The auditors typewriter jammed up and what sins were digested choked the demon because of the insane amount of sin the man had committed. He was supposed to rival the worst Hell had come to know and see.

The Weinsteins didn’t like this. It was still too weird. So the mandate was for him to rewrite the characters and rip off the killings in Seven. Make it religious in nature. Don’t say he’s going after the seven deadly sins, that too on the nose. Say instead he’s going based off of the 10 commandments. Then its not a real direct right off. I guess The Weinsteins felt by directly ripping off the deadly sins killings of Seven would give the audience something familiar they would know and could follow. Something that even if a direct rip off would still in the end be more fitting of a low budget direct to video movie versus an atmospheric supernatural horror film. Because that wasn’t enough they wanted to market the film ENTIRELY as a dark gritty crime drama. With Pinhead as a special appearance. Not a main focus.

Let that sit and swim in the toilet bowl a little.

Pinhead. The face they put on every poster for every one of these films. A character in Hellraiser. In a Hellraiser film. Was reduced to a special guest apparence in a crime film.

This is why we ask why so often with these. It’s like me telling you I want to make a new Indiana Jones movie because I love that series. So when you agree to do it, I tell you to make it more like National treasure because that is more relatable for the audience versus a film exploring Indiana Jone’s later years and his slowing down of adventure.

WHY NOT JUST MAKE A FUCKING NATIONAL TREASURE FILM!!

God now that is something I could see them doing. Make a National Treasure film solving ancient puzzles and riddles, then out of fucking nowhere Pinhead appears and tares Nic Cage apart.

To add on with their weird logic. The film actually had a lot of cenobites. A lot of them. We get to see a couple of them hanging out with Pinhead. They would appear randomly though the film tormenting the detective and attacking suddenly. The Weinsteins thought those should be taken out. Because it made the film confusing. Shifting from the crime scene to cenobites attacking him. So those were taken out. It’s mostly funny because again this film had a very small budget of $350k. They spent money on those costumes and effects, only for them not to be used. Just seen for a few seconds chilling in a corner. Because of this? We got suicide girl tits. They had no more funds to spend on hells costumes. Including Pinhead. So pinhead NEEDED clothes, that’s why he was given a raggedy robe, even though he was supposed to be the King of Hell in this. And why the jury of hell was reduced to three named tattoo’d women. They didn’t have money for costumes or makeup. They already cut out the ladies covered in blood. So instead we get full on tits, bellies and leather thongs. It was the first time in Hellraiser you got nudity not for titillation and horror quota, but because they couldn’t dress more cenobites. It’s also why we had a leather gimp in a gas mask instead of our usual featureless leather strapped cenobites.

The lack of budget is also why the grand finale of the film played off exactly how it did. In his original story after Pinhead killed the angel. He was so full of himself and what he’d done that he saw nothing wrong with having stood up to and defying god. He dared him to do something, and he did. God cast him out of hell and doomed him to life as a mortal. Something this Pinhead saw as the worst imaginable thing. They had intended to have a sequence that went further than Hellbound did with the rehumanization of Pinhead to Elliot. This would have seen the nails in his head stripped out violently. Flesh torn from the hell priest and his own Passion of the Cenobite like scene.

However having spent all of their budget that last week of filming. We got the sudden jump of the auditor explaining what happened, A quick cut and slow motion shot of a homeless Pinhead, with a few grid line scratches on his head, whimpering about suffering screaming into the camera and a flash image to show us Pinheads face. Letting us know “This is pinhead, he is human now”.

Which is a good lead in to a side story that is as any good play, tragic, and hopeful. Fans, critics and the studio all agreed that the last man to play Pinhead was absolutely the worst to do it. Aside from his makeup not working and making for the chubbiest looking Pinhead. He was not brought back for Judgement. As we went over Bradley had been approached again about playing the part and walked away when they tried hitting him with the NDA. With Doug out of the picture and given the backlash from fans over the recast and how horribly that had gone. They decided wisely to hold a secret audition that wouldn’t even say who the character was let alone the movie. The last thing they needed was the horror community hearing about another recasting and another Hellraiser without Doug. The only problem was, they would hear about it. From Doug himself. Who took to social media to let people know he would have nothing to do with this film. Unfortunately the director tried to do damage control. This would be his film after all, based off his script and as a long time flame bearer of the series. He wanted fans to know he would respect the series and that he DID in fact try to work with Doug. He did this by releasing online private emails he had with Doug Bradley about the film and returning to it. Because of the, Doug got deeply upset and the director ended up severing his long time friendship and relationship with Doug Bradley.  Doug flat out declared he would never be in another Hellraiser film. In fact at a fan convention he flat out admitted the only thing that would ever get him to put the makeup on again is 1. If Clive were involved, and 2. If it was for a film version of Clive’s book The Scarlet Gospel.

With his friend now gone, Tunnicliffe turned to the auditions. Which brought in a horror fan and pinhead super fan Paul Taylor. A classically trained theater actor. When he read the lines for a character named The Auditor, and saw the line “Come inside we have such sites to show you”, he apparently told Tunnicliffe he knew what this movie really was, and pulled out from his backpack a Pinhead toy and puzzlebox he carried with him.

He was hired on the spot.

Of course no one can play Freddy Kreuger like Robert England, and no one can have the majesty of Pinhead like Bradley. But fans were in agreement that with all the trash this movie hauled and its Seven rip off, and poor script, and shittier quality film. Paul played Pinhead well. Gone was the over acting of Revelations. Back was the quiet calm collectiveness of Pinhead.

It’s just a shame he barely was in the fucking thing, and even then he came off as incredibly bored instead of indifferent. I mean hell they even deepened his voice where as the last guy they for some reason didn’t and he just sounded like someone doing a terrible Vin Deisel impression. But that was also Dimension. Even Bradley had in the past complained that they didn’t do the same audio work as previous films to deepen his voice with reverb and bass. They did it to cut corners, But apparently Revelations taught them after 4 shit films maybe they should do the bare minimum. Even if too fucking late.

Up until now Tunnicliffe seemed an alright guy, and I think perhaps still is. But the man really wanted to go all out for this film. Had this been his first time directing I could understand, but it wasn’t. Whether it was his want to make a truly unnerving hellraiser horror film, or a change of approach. The man decided the films drastic state called for equally drastic measures. Being a fan of old school directors like Friedkin, he would employ old tactics and tricks to get better performances out of his cast. Having the lowest budget imaginable, and 3 weeks to squeeze out and film the movie with one take shots and only one angle for everything. He couldn’t allow actors to find their voice for each scene, so he helped.

Th director of the Exorcist, William Friedkin did some crazy shit to the cast to get honest reactions. He would fire a pistol off on set to startle them. He open hand slapped the shit out of an actor to make them cry and shake as they gave last rites to their dying friend. So he felt he would try the same, by calling up the wife of Damon Carney. He got her to give him all of the actors real life traumatic memories, things he felt guilty of and for. So when Damon is sat down being read his list of since by the Auditor(the director), he was reading off to everyone in the room the real actors true life traumas and secrets. Causing the actor to look shocked and yell. Which you see in the movie. It’s just a long way to go for a cheap straight to video movie. But his behavior wasn’t just his to play with. Paul Taylor overdosed himself on nicotine during filming.

Mercedes McCambridge famously smoked cigars  and drank heavily to get her voice down low enough for the voice of the demon inside Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist. Paul thought to do the same for Pinhead, smoking heavily to lower his voice, even delivering lines with smoke still in his mouth. It would sound great sure, but his body said fuck that and fuck you and the man ended up needing medical help for 30 minutes shutting down production and kindly being told never do that shit again.

It’s tragic but also hopeful that these people were trying to do something. Trying to give a little extra and get something more for the film. It’s honorable. But it’s also for a move that no one cared about especially the studio. It was still a film done to hold onto the rights fulfilling a legal contract. But these two were going to try and give it that little bit of razzle dazzle.

As you can imagine, with single take scenes, a budget gone before the ending was even filmed, and a studio that limited everything imaginable to a point you’d expect they told the cast to piss in water filter cups to recycle the piss to drinkable water to save them money. Well doing all that on a low end budget film would mean like the last movie. A disaster of film. Which it was.

So when the movie was handed off to the editor. They absolutely lost it. For the exact same reasons as Revelations. They would have to add in flashes, jump cuts. Slowed down shots. Tighter up close shots to hide the lack of production value. Arranging scenes to make a cohesive storyline and doing the worst layer CGI to draw a few squiggled grids on pinheads human face.  Funny enough the reason we lack some gore in kills is because they only filmed one shot of each and the fact you saw the limits of the production on camera, you couldn’t linger too long. Just like with Hellworld and Revelations. Sit too long on a single shot or an inch this way, an inch that way. You end up ruining the entire shot. History again repeated itself throughout the editing as it had the production.

It sadly became a feature with making a Hellraiser film with Dimension instead of a bug.

But the Weinsteins got what they wanted. They fought for a story they would’ve killed, and still managed to kill the one they settled on and never once gave a shit for.

Audiences equally did not give a shit. It was bad enough to repeat twist endings and keep using other peoples original films to shoe horn Hellraiser into. But flat out ripping off a good film like Seven, for a hellraiser film that wasn’t even that. That was bad. Making a hellraiser film that contradicts its own logic is another level. Pinhead is the self imposed King of Hell. Yet God cast him out and. The auditor continues on working for hell. Because hell still had its boss. Who wasn’t the king of hell?

So what the fuck was Pinhead? In The Scarlet Gospel it made sense. Pinhead had worked up through the ranks and got to a point he had planned to overthrow Satan himself. He wanted chaos in hell and he tired of things the way they were. It worked. This, at one time had a story which maybe made sense. But it got cut up or never existed in the first place and I’m giving the benefit of the doubt when I shouldn’t. It just made no sense.  Audiences hated trying to figure it out because in the -end it just wasn’t worth it. The film was what it was always going to be. Trash. A film made for legal reasons for as little as possible that would never be anything but the floating turd in the toilet it was meant to be.

So the film was pieced together like Frankenstein’s monster if he’s used glad bags, shit from several corpses and a frogs heart. It was ready to be released onto the masses despite the overwhelming silence of said masses. However, it was not going to be released as planned.

I truly do mean this for once when I say, this is where the fun begins. The film was supposed to release in 2017, however after the Weinstein’s watched the film, specifically Harvey(this is important) Both Weinstein’s found the movie to be…deeply embarrassing.

Yes. The studio that shoved these things out entirely to hold onto the rights, finally came to feel what the fans had and realized this thing was, deeply embarrassing. Harvey found it. Especially the naked jurors later covered in blood to be, uncomfortable to watch. HE felt they would face a lot. A plethora some would say of public backlash for it. They decided quickly to shelve this movie and cancelled all plans for a promotional campaign for the film. They had what they needed to retain the rights, but no one would buy this piece of shit and they finally knew it.  It only took 6 absolute pieces of direct to video aborted shits for them to realize it.

So the film sat in their vaulted shelf. Until something happened that. Well. Shocked a few people and, started a small movement you may have possibly heard about, something called #MeToo…

You knew eventually we’d get to this, but yes. In October of 2017 all the allegations came out, the MeToo movement swarmed in and Harvey suddenly couldn’t operate in public without an oxygen tank and was incredibly fragile. Suddenly out of nowhere how weird.

Needless to say as things heated up, Dimension films and the Weinstein company imploded. All of their assets were frozen during the investigation and trial. The studio was destroyed and they needed to sell EVERYTHING as fast as possible to pay off their creditors and legal debts.

This of course lead to Lionsgate quickly buying up completed distribution scraps from their gargage bin outside and, their vault. Lionsgate was playing Storage Wars and experienced the grim reality of storage hunters. You go in hoping what you bought will have something of value, and instead all you find is a ready for video copy of the latest Hellraiser disappointment. Lionsgate who had a long storied past with shit films, even they knew this film was absolute and complete dog shit. But they had to make something so, they released it quietly, with only an unannounced online trailer Hellraiser Judgement.

The film was released purely and clinically as a liquidated bankruptcy asset.

Its release, as quietly and unremarkably as it was. Marked the end of Dimension films 25 year stranglehold on Hellraiser.

Dimension Films and The Weinstein Co declared bankruptcy in 2018. Harvey survived to attend his court trial in 2022.

Which means Harvey was free long enough to witness another act of Justice.

Clive Barker remained as I said deeply silent during Judgements production and after its release. He was, however, building a legal case. He’d contacted attorneys about suing them and getting back his property. They had pushed him too far and he was done with them. Especially when learning the last time he had been purposely lied too and used by the studio to promote their shit direct to video film production.

Clive officially filed a federal copyright lawsuit in 2020. His legal team were standing behind a section of the copyright act which gives independent authors a non-negotiable right to terminate any prior transfer of intellectual property rights to a corporation after 35 years. Well Clive had sold the rights to the characters and Hellraiser all the way back to New World films back in 1986.

He wasn’t suing Dimension though, or the Weinsteins. Hell he didn’t even bother Lionsgate with this. He went straight to the source as his legal team stated in court that. He sold the original rights to New World Pictures. They were the technical Landlord of Pinhead, while the Weinsteins had obtained long term exclusive licensing contract. Going after the original owner he sold it too would secure him his property entirely.

It was a very dirty court battle, but in the end Clive got his property back. He once again was in charge of and caring for the rotted corpse of his creation.

After he gained his property back, we got a new Hellraiser film, one made with his full blessing that he produced, and really loved. He enjoyed the new Hellpriest and their beautiful look. He was happy with the story and gave it his full blessing. Something not done since Bloodline.

And just recently. Dominating the top games played out there was the release that’d bare his name, Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival.

A game the studio sought him out on and he remained deeply, at its core involved in every aspect of. He kept it grounded and deeply rooted in the lore, look, aesthetic and mythology of his world. The game is, amazing. I’ve played through it three times now and each time I am confident in repeating myself to everyone out there, and seeing they all agree that. This game is the best thing fans could ever had hoped for, deserved or asked for in Hellraiser. This game and its story feel like a soul sequel to Hellbound Hellraiser 2. It’s bloody, beautiful, and Hellraiser.  As it stands there are scripts in development with his approval for new Hellraiser, potentially even his long wanted reboot of the series. With the popularity of the game there’s already early talks of a sequel happening and As I learned yesterday, Tabletop Universe Expansion have partnered with Barker to work on a Hellraiser tabletop game.

It might saturate the market but seriously after all this. Writing 110 pages discussing what these films and Clive went through with this franchise? Let the man flood the fucking market because I’d rather be tired of all the Hellraiser everywhere versus being reminded I watched Hellraiser Judgement. Twice.

I know I skipped over How Judgement performed, Because we all know. We all know. But fine I’ll still go over it. Because sure.

The movie was dead on arrival. Barely anyone noticed the trailer and fewer took notice in video stores. Those of us, the completionist and have to knows saw it, regretted it and moved on, reminded why sometimes it’s best to just keep walking.

The one good thing and again deserved yethis. Was that fans while hating the movie, hating its rip off of Seven, and shit story, and the Auditor, the Assessor and yes the drooping tittied suicide girl hopeful rejects. Despite hating all of this and the movies waste of time and money. They all agreed that Paul Taylor have a great Pinhead performance. They were surprised by it, his voice, and the fact the character actually came off like Pinhead. The makeup was also greatly improved over the last one.

We’ll never know what any of these direct to video sequels made, all we know for sure is what was lost in all of these productions.

Given how audiences all collectively did what internet critics, trolls and most film arguments say, throwing around. Hellraisers sequels actually did. They caused fans to not give a single shit and lost everything. It’s hard to find another franchise that faced similar and had its whole fan base go from accepting, to turning against them, to flat out walking off on them.  This film was just another drop in a very large, over flowing bucket of human waste.

Shockingly though, Harvey Weinstein was right about one thing. The film was uncomfortable and vocal crowds expressed that. The entire sequence called the Stygian sequence, the paper eating, vomiting, big tittied judgement and sucking sin off the body spitting into a cup then feeding it back to the victim. All of that was to some, highly uncomfortable and gross.

And poor Tunnicliffe. The long time torch carrier, effects master and finally director/writer. Before the Weinsteins were silenced, he received one of their last lies. When they saw his film and shelved it indefinitely. Bob had called him up privately and told him BIG productions were in his future, they’d be having a lot more to put on his plate and the man could expect more directing gigs.

Yeah that didn’t happen for him. And when Lionsgate took over, he waited patiently. Lionsgate dumped Hellraiser Judgement where films go to die or be bought be meth heads. Walmart. He patiently sat expecting them to offer a new project, or ask his input on another follow up. He received zero contact from them. No one would take his calls.

Hes had an uphill battle with trying to direct again and has of yet done so. He had however returned to his roots. The man was after all a great effects wizard and he continues with that work. But when Hulu announced their new Hellraiser film, and later on Revival the game. He expected maybe he’d hear something. But again no. He was not in the new Hellraiser circle. The house of Hell had been cleared out of all past names. Only Barkers remained. It wasn’t his fault really. So much as the studio that now put others who worked on those films into a survivor status.

In the end the best thing to come from this film was the fall of Dimension and the Weinsteins. The return of the property to Clive. The rebooted Hulu film and the fact Clive being so involved with the game brought Doug Bradly happily back to the role of Pinhead. Which had the effect the Weinsteins desperately wanted on their projects. Fan interest.

Of all the franchises we covered, this one had the most suffering and ground to cover. I had no idea about a lot of it. I learned a hell of a lot with researching this. I knew it would be bad but, just not that bad.

Having gone over all of it and learning what we had. It’s far easier to ask and answer, just what the hell happened to Hellraiser? It was the studio. Entirely, whole heartedly the Weinsteins. They wanted another franchise under their belts to milk and bring in the money. Instead it suffered and where they could have given it care and attention. They decided to form a grudge with its creator and relegate the series to the lowest ring of film making the whole thing straight to video.

They killed a profitable franchise all in the name of retaining rights. They lied to cast and crew all so they could get more work and quality from them at a fraction of the cost and in some cases entirely for free They were absolutely every stereotype of the evil corporate studio cartoon you’d expect.

Had they shown even a little bit of love to Hellraiser. It could have turned a profit. With the stories they were presented and could have used. Any of those had the potential to turn a profit. But they were so set in their ways and turning Hellraiser into a slasher. They couldn’t see reason and only saw hate for the resistance they were met with. Like my ex fiancé told me in one of our final calls, “I tried putting you into a box I wanted you to fit, I know that was wrong of me and I’m sorry. I tried forcing you to be something you weren’t” Only it didn’t cost her or me millions and a studio. It just cost us 4 years of our lives and a ring.

I mean this really digs at me, not my ex that ship sailed and hers burned down in the night by its own captains mental health. But it really digs at me every single failure, challenge, and obstacle these films faced under Dimension. These people were making the Scream films and took over the Halloween films. Yes Halloween Resurrection was dog shit. But more importantly they did H20.

Compare that film to Hellraiser Revelations.

Jamie Lee Curtis came to them with the idea of doing a reunion film, Bringing back her character for one more fight against Michael. The film did amazingly well and brought back interest for the franchise. They listened to a legacy character who served as a producer. She clashed with Akkad yes. They lied to her to placate her and get their sequel and followup done. Screwing her over ultimately. Yes. But they managed a hell of a return to form for the Halloween series and a profit.

They had Clive Barker. Not once, but twice at their front door. With Bradley ready to return. That’s like Carpenter and Curtis coming to you ready to work.

But they turn Barker away, and use his name to drum up interest. They chose to lie and turn away all of their ideas. Deciding ultimately to just keep the property and shove out a place holder. The only thing that makes sense as to why. Is for the same reason everyone behind the scenes including Akkad agreed. Pinhead vs Michael could never work because Michael was a slasher, Pinhead was a supernatural threat. Dimension wanted to turn Pinhead into a slasher. Something they understood within their wheelhouse. The more they tried forcing him to fit that box, the more it was clear he never would. But they had stopped trying and began shoving a corpse into a triangle pegged hole.

They had no understanding of the property. Only that it was horror. Horror sold, and they new slasher horror. Only they never even got that until much further down the road. Because they just did not care. We can’t say they were too busy to give the franchise attention and think up a story, think of a way to reboot it. They made it very clear that they had decided instead of going through the process of a real production. They’d save that for other worthwhile projects while doing what was legally needed to keep Hellraiser for the time they’d eventually get to it. Like with Warhammer, buying new models and painting them because man this new box set has some beautiful models. All while telling yourself you’ll return to your gray pile of shame eventually and finish those off. They just never did, and now, never would.

With Canon films you had two talented men who could sell you a film that didn’t even exist yet, and when they brought it into existence the film was never as good as promised but it was completed and had some form of entertainment. They didn’t feel soulless and pushed out. Those two believed in what they were doing and sold it heart and soul while making money off it. Using that money to finance the films. Dimension got lucky with a few projects but every time they backed an idea. They got excited for a production. That’s when they couldn’t pull themselves back and meddled away until they broke what they saw possibilities in. Falling back on the need to turn a profit over entertain. They did it with Halloween and they absolutely threw Hellraiser into the trash and expected a pay out. For nothing. If the Weinsteins had the talent of Golan and Globus. Shit if they just had the heart those two did. They undoubtedly could have become a better profitable business with more hits than misses.

Had New Line taken over? Paramount? Who knows. Maybe they would have worked with Barker. Maybe. It could’ve gotten a lot worse too, hell we could have actually ended up with a Freddy Vs Jason Vs Pinhead, and hell even an Ash Vs Pinhead. There’s always another level of hell we have yet to discover. But somehow and with this coming to a close, knowing everything now. I doubt it would’ve been as bad as what we ended up with.

Knowing some of these disasters now serve as lessons in filmmaking for how not to make a film, knowing studios think a lot harder before shoe horning existing titles into other properties, some good can be said to have come out of this. I just hope the future remains bright for Barker and Halloween.  I really do.

With that, I can bring this all to an end. At long last. It was a long time sat here writing, Watching the movies, researching. But I feel it was worth it. I feel bad for how long I was away from writing reviews and this all has served in making me want to get back into it. Despite working for a soulless company that doesn’t care about me. I’ll find the time, because this is something I’d gladly do more often for myself and everyone reading them. For every one of you that joined in reading these. You are a very rare breed and thank you for taking the time. A Long, long time. To read through all of it. I hope it was enjoyable and I just might revisit this months theme again sometime. Lord knows there are enough franchises out there I could do more. But we’ll have to wait and see. For now. Enjoy your candy and Halloween. Take care, and until the next time. Always remember this. If you ever feel you want to create something. Be it film, music, writing. Anything. The project you keep putting off with multiple reasons and excuses. Remember this.

Dimension didn’t put in any work or thought into 7 Hellraiser films. They punished the world with them. If they can shovel thoughtless shit with zero effort or care. You can release your work with more passion and heart in it, than any of these 7 films combined. Go create, unleash it and know you’ll never be as horrible as these people were. Thank you.